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Wednesday, May 4, 2011 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Obstinate octogenarian offends Sundowner’s linked to Alzheimer’s Dear Annie: My mother is in her late 80s and is becoming increas- ingly difficult. She’s always been rather critical, but now she is down- right rude and insulting. It’s as though being old gives her the right to say anything that pops into her head without considera- tion for anyone else’s feel- ings. it will help you be less defensive and respond with sym- pathy. Dear Annie: Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar My husband tells me to ignore her comments. I know he’s right, but old habits die hard, and I still try to defend myself, and also my family when she insults them. I know she isn’t going to change, so somehow I have to find a better way to respond to her. Please give me some strategies to control my instinctive defensive reac- tions — without starting an argument, being ‘‘hateful’’ (her word) or walking away, which would be tan- tamount to declaring war. — Dutiful Daughter Dear Daughter: Your mother may be exhibiting early signs of dementia, one of which is the inabili- ty to censor what comes out of her mouth. Ask if you can accompany her to her next doctor’s appointment. That will give you an opportunity to mention this possibility to the doctor and request an evaluation. Per- haps if you can keep in mind that her insults are not entirely within her control, A UC Riverside scien- tist is asking for the pub- lic’s help to track the distri- bution of brown widow spiders in California. Brown widows' range expanded rapidly in South- ern California since their introduction in 2003, he said, and they may move northward this summer into Central California. Another widow species is the black widow, which is native to California. When the weather warms up, it's not uncommon to find the glossy black spi- ders with their tell-tale red hourglass abdomen mark in wood piles, under flower pots and in webs strung across undisturbed niches low to the ground. Brown widow spiders are native to Africa and are established in tropical environments throughout the world. They have been found in Florida for many decades, but only recently expanded their range from Texas through South Car- olina, and into southern California. As of 2009, the spider was established in Now that my own children are adults, I am constantly being asked by family members to watch their chil- dren on evenings and weekends. But I have a full-time job and need my downtime. Plus, my home is no longer kid friendly. I like their children, but they are all under age 3, and it’s a lot of work. Every week, I’ll get a call asking whether I can come to their home or they can drop off their child at mine. They never offer to pay, and even if they did, I still don’t care to baby-sit. I have managed to come up with some excuses, but I’m tired of lying about being busy. Is there a tactful way to let them know I’m sim- ply not interested in spend- ing my free time running a day care center? — No Day Care Dear No Day Care: You’ll have to risk a little fallout if you want this problem to go away. Tell your relatives, ‘‘I love your children dearly, but I sim- ply don’t have the energy to run after toddlers anymore. Sorry.’’ If you want to be especially nice, you can offer on rare occasion to baby-sit when the kids are already asleep. Dear Annie: This is in response to the letter from ‘‘Jennifer,’’ who is troubled by her safe-but-boring mar- riage. Her words tugged at my heart. I am also in my mid-40s and in a dull marriage. My husband is a decent man, but self-centered. At his hands, I was the victim of a single incident of marital rape, which he claims to not remember. I sought therapy, and my counselor said my husband, not a vio- lent man, may have been in a dissociative state and unaware of his actions. I insisted my husband also have therapy, but he discon- tinued treatment because he didn’t think he had much to work on. I left psychothera- py after nearly 18 months when my therapist began to complain that I was not turning out to be one of her success stories. I feel worse now than I did before. My own family has been less than supportive. I have chosen to stay in this mar- riage because divorce would cause a great deal of emotional pain to our chil- dren. We are no longer inti- mate, and there are days when I feel so empty, I can’t even cry. I want Jen- nifer to know she is not alone. — Caged Dear Caged: We appre- ciate your words of solidar- ity, but your situation and Jennifer’s are not the same. Her husband doesn’t excite her. Yours attacked you. A more understanding coun- selor might be able to help you move forward with a different therapeutic approach. Please try. DEAR DR. GOTT: Please write something on sundown- er’s syndrome. It seems as though this is fairly common. Thank you for all the great information I have read. DEAR READER: Sundown- er’s, or sundowning, is confu- sion that generally occurs late in the day, although it has been known to occur during early- morning hours as well. The cause appears elusive and is often misunderstood. Dr. Peter Gott The disorder is commonly seen in hospital or nursing-home settings where an older individual may be forced to adjust to a different setting. Or, in some cases, it can manifest fol- lowing illness or surgery. Sundowner’s may be temporary for some but pro- longed in other instances. It is seen pri- marily in Alzheimer’s patients, in those with Parkinson’s and with other forms of dementia. As a matter of fact, up to 25 percent of all diagnosed Alzheimer’s patients have been found to exhibit sundowner’s as well. As the day progresses, a patient becomes fatigued and less able to deal with stress. In the case of hospital or nursing-home placement, it is likely all visitors have gone home for the day and there is less to occupy a person’s mind. Perhaps medications have been administered prior to sleep. The patient who was stimulated earlier in the day has nothing to occupy his or her mind and appears increasingly forgetful and agitated. Memory loss seems greater. Blood-pressure readings may be lower. Patients may see things that aren’t there or perceive things to be other than what they actually are. These visions can be extremely frightening. Treatment might include establish- ing a repetitive routine that a patient can rely on. Continuity is good. Noise from the radio and television during evening hours may exacerbate agita- tion in some but help others. Allow the Vetter is asking the pub- lic to assist in his brown widow spider research. patient’s sleeping area to remain lit during the night such as with a nightlight. Review all medications to be assured they don’t have insomnia or disrupt- ed sleep patterns as a side effect. Ask the doctor about the use of over-the-counter mela- tonin or St. John’s wort as a possible sleep aid. Avoid giving food items later in the day that contain caffeine, such as coffee and chocolate. Monitor the patient’s diet to determine whether any specific foods trigger agitation. While not always possible to accom- plish, family members or caregivers who can spend nighttime hours with a patient in a nursing home or hospital setting will provide a comforting sense of familiarity that may avoid symp- toms. Keep in mind that with those patients able to ultimately return home to familiar surroundings, sundowner’s can disappear completely, making the process of providing appropriate care easier. The fact that the condition may appear out of the blue is no reflection on the quality or capabilities of a facil- ity where a patient may be placed. Family members need not be overly concerned by perceived wrongdoing after hours but should express their thoughts regarding the possibility of a misunderstood disorder that affects their loved ones. Most of all, remember that anyone with sundowner’s is unaware of the havoc that he or she may impose on family members and caregivers. The condition is not fatal but can be extremely difficult to deal with. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Scientist seeks samples of California newcomer brown widow Potential spider collectors should study the photos on http://cisr.ucr.edu/brown_ widow_spider.html to learn the characteristics of brown widows. Your Business can be featured in the... Los Angeles, Orange and San Diego counties, and in 2010 it made its way to Riverside, San Bernardino, Ventura and Santa Barbara counties. There have been a few finds in areas further north. "I’ve gotten three females from Sacramento and three females from Washington (state)," said UC Riverside urban ento- mologist Rick Vetter. "I’ve gotten no other spiders from those areas, so I don’t know if they will be anoth- er infestation area or not." Drop for drop, brown widow spider venom is more toxic than the venom of their black cousins, but other characteristics make them less dangerous, according to Vetter. Brown widows are less likely to bite. Instead, they curl up, drop and play dead when disturbed. They do not defend their egg sacs. When brown widows do bite, they release less venom than black widows. However, brown wid- ows will have the advan- tage of numbers. Black widows are known for their anti-social tenden- cies, usually occupying space alone. Brown wid- ows have no such fondness for solitude. June 4-5, 2011 10,000 total distribution! RED BLUFF magazine format Official Event Program D NEWSAILY Published exclusively in the Thursday, June 2, 2011 TEHAMACOUNTY Online on the front page of the Daily News’ website as a digital page-turn edition from May 31-June 5 All events at Rolling Hills Casino This major event will be mass promoted regionally in print, broadcast, and online anticipating attendance by thousands of local folks, as well as thousands of visitors from far and wide, many of whom will spend the whole weekend in Tehama County! Join the sponsors of the hot air balloons in advertising in this exclusive promotional section and event program. 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