Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/30175
Really, Really, Really, Not for Kids Your Highness (Rated R) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS Director David Gordon Green followed up the success of Pineapple Express with Your Highness (102 minutes), a fantasy/ comedy movie chock full of anachronisms set in a vaguely me- dieval period. There is a whole lot of Danny McBride doing his Danny McBride thing, which frankly, is not really my thing. All in all, it was at least as funny as Robin Hood: Men In Tights, a movie I loved when I was 13 and have refused to watch ever since, on the grounds that jokes about chastity belts and dudes in tights rapping in the forest are only funny to a certain age group. Really, the humor in the movie is perfectly geared towards the adolescent boy in us all. Too bad this particular movie is really, really, really not for kids. Thadeous (Danny McBride) and Fabious (James Franco) are princes. The film opens on the hanging of Thadeous, who has apparently seduced the wife of the dwarf king and has an entire dwarf mob screaming for his blood. He manages to escape over a fairly interesting set of opening credits, but his father King Tallious (Charles Dance) is more of a big-picture man and is less than thrilled at this diplomatic failure. Luckily, his pride and joy Fabious returns with the head of a Cyclops in time to cheer him up. Along with the monster’s head comes a bride (Zooey Deschanel) that has nothing whatsoever to do, other than look simultaneously confused, hot, and bored. Pick better roles Zooey! I re- ally want to like you! Then again, I guess anything is a step up compared to play- ing DG in Tin Man. The wedding is interrupted when the evil warlock Leezar (Justin Theroux) comes to claim the bride for use in a ritual that is turned into fodder for a run- ning joke. He sure is trying hard to make the character work, but he never quite pulls it off. Is he menacing? Is he funny? He doesn’t seem to know, so the audi- ence doesn’t either. The tragic kidnapping spurs the Two Princes (remember the Spin Doctors? Whatever happened to them?) into a quest. They head towards Rule, Britannia! The royal wedding takes over American TV TV by DEAN ROBBINS The media have already proclaimed the April 29 nuptials of England’s Prince William and Kate Middleton “the wedding of the century” (Friday, 5 a.m., NBC, CBS, Fox News, MSNBC, E!, etc.) Apparently there won’t be anything to compare to it in the next 89 years, so you’d better pay attention RIGHT NOW, hadn’t you? TV is more than happy to help, with frothing-at-the-mouth coverage of this seemingly bland couple and their very undramatic decision to marry after eight years of normal dating. In 1981, the media went gaga over a similar non-event, the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana Spencer, and you can bet the ante will be upped 30 years later. Expect a commemorative issue of People magazine, souvenir books, a William and Kate TV movie from the Hallmark Channel, and so much American fawning over the British monarchy that the Founding Fathers will surely turn over in their graves. By the way, don’t forget to clip and save this TV blurb – it, too, is commemorative. Glamour Belles Wednesday, 10 pm (Lifetime) This reality series is set in a Tennessee dress shop called Joann’s Gowns, special- izing in pageant gowns. Owner Paige radiates confidence: “Picking a winning pageant dress is a talent, and it’s a talent I’m blessed with ... You don’t come to me for second place.” It’s amazing how emotional things can get in front of the mirror as women weep, scream and break down over various bits of fabric. To me, it all seems slightly silly, though I do admit to tear- ing up a little over a white stretch taffeta with a mermaid bottom, sweetheart neckline and rosettes. Nurse Jackie Monday, 10 pm (Showtime) Almost nothing happens in this week’s episode. Jackie’s struggle with substance abuse is pushed to the background, and she does little but attend to daily business at the hospital. So why is the half-hour still so compelling? Credit Edie Falco’s lived-in performance. She communicates weariness, weakness, wittiness and many other subtle qualities characteristic of a normal person trying to get by in the world. Her interactions with other characters feel lived-in, too, as when she talks to her young daughter about a school subject: Lucifer. “God cast him out, but he didn’t care,” the daughter says. “He still wanted to be God, so he made himself God of hell.” As an addict, Jackie knows a little something about hell, so her ironic answer con- tains sinister depths: “And they all lived happily ever after.”. a perverted old wise man (Mario Torres Jr.) who has apparently carried on an inappropriate relationship with Prince Fabious since he was a boy. And its scenes like this that make you believe the claim that there was no working script and that most of the lines were improvised based on a broad plot outline. Pay careful atten- tion to the actors … they really don’t seem to know where they are going until they get there. And when they get there, they seem a little bit ashamed of themselves. The wise wizard gives them a magic compass that will lead them to a magic sword, but on the way they get caught in a booby trap (literal). They are taken to The Thunderdome, and the local warlord (John Fricker) pits them against Fabio. When that doesn’t work, he attacks them with CGI. Luckily for the Two Princes the warrior Isabel (Natalie Portman) is there to save them. Thadious puts the moves on his savior, and I think it is awful- ly nice of both Isabel and the viewing audience to play along and pretend that he would ever have even half a chance with her. And I’m not basing that on his looks, but on his personality, which is pretty lousy. To no one’s surprise, Isabel and her accent (both bizarre and point- less) runs off on her merry way after she determines that the brothers are more likely to get in her way than guard her back. At least, I assume her thinking went something like that … the logic gets a bit fuzzy at times. Is this a good time to mention the magical mechanical bird that seems to serve the same purpose as Bubo the owl in the original Clash of the Titans? His name is Simon and he is cool. As for the rest of the movie, it was good for a laugh and it is hard to under- stand why so many critics are entirely unable to see its charms. HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing Writer. COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com 16 UCW APRIL 27 - MAY 3, 2011 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM