Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/30098
Tuesday, April 26, 2011 – Daily News – 3B FEATURES Fuming from family’s financial failures Dear Annie: My in-laws emptied out my husband’s bank account and put thousands of charges on his credit cards. They refused to return the money, and it took us six years to pay off the debt they incurred. My in-laws recently retired without any savings and rely on Social Security to make ends meet. It didn’t stop them from remodeling their home via credit cards. Now we are told we must assist them financially during their retirement. This would cut into our own retirement savings, leaving our future questionable. They claim their children owe it to them in their old age. We only hear from my in-laws when they want some- thing, and if they don’t get their way, they resort to name- calling. Are we wrong to refuse? — Not a Money Tree Dear Not: If your in-laws were destitute because they lost their jobs and savings, we would tell you to help them. But since they have stolen from you and refuse to live with- in their means, we see no reason to continue pouring money down the sinkhole. Make sure your husband is on board with this, and then suggest his parents seek financial counseling through the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (nfcc.org) at 1-800-388-2227. Offer to go with Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar them if necessary. Explain that they cannot count on others (even their children) to bail them out repeatedly, and they will benefit in the long run by learning how to live within a budget. Dear Annie: Birthdays and holidays have always been important in our family, and we never miss an occasion for our nieces and nephews. We always send a gift and keep them posted with current pictures of our children. However, my husband’s brother and his wife never rec- iprocate. Our children are only 3 and 6 years old, but they wonder why they get presents from all their relatives except these particular cousins. It bugs me, too, since I go out of my way to hit the post office to mail stuff to their children. We only get lame excuses from my sister-in-law, who often says she has gifts for the kids, but hasn’t gotten around to sending them. I know I should let this go, but it bothers me that anoth- er holiday season has passed without so much as a current photo. They frequently post pictures on Facebook about the parties they attend and their recent purchases, so I know it’s not a financial issue. And frankly, even a card would be nice. Should I say something or continue to watch my chil- dren’s quiet disappointment? — Annoyed in the Midwest Dear Annoyed: Your brother already knows they are remiss when it comes to gifts. You cannot demand pre- sents, but you can ask if they would please send a current photograph. Your other choice is to stop sending their chil- dren gifts unless you receive something in return. But please do not encourage your children to make an issue of this. Most kids don’t notice what is missing unless some- one points it out. Dear Annie: You have printed letters from readers whose family members are drug addicts and alcoholics. I am a recovering cocaine addict. I stole from my family to maintain my $100-a-day habit and maxed out all my cred- it cards. My family put me through drug rehab and talked to me without success. When they finally stopped offering help, I had to make it on my own. Leaving me to my chosen cocaine world was best. Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are absolutely vital in any recovering program. And do not ever stop praying for the addict. Prayers and good inten- tions by those who loved me helped me through the terri- ble prison I had placed myself in. I am still sober after 10 years and am back inside my family circle. A drug addict needs to be left alone while he is using, and the rest of the family needs to carry on with their lives. — P. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Superbugs attack health facilities nationwide DEAR DR. GOTT: While watching televi- sion, I saw an article on a new form of bug that has invaded our country. Can you elaborate on what they refer to as CRKP? DEAR READER: Actually, it’s not so new. The CDC began track- ing CRKP in 2009. CRKP stands for Car- Dr. Peter Gott bapenem-resistant Klebsiella pneumoniae. It is a gram-negative bacteria known to cause infection in the bloodstream, at sur- gical or wound sites and in cases of pneu- monia and meningitis in healthcare set- tings, specifically nursing homes and long- term-care hospitals. This bacterial infection is emerging as a major challenge for control because it is resistant to almost all available antimicro- bial agents. Infections have been linked with high rates of morbidity and mortality, particularly in people with central venous catheters or on ventilators. The bacteria live harmlessly in human intestines. “Superbugs” only occur when bacteria mutate to the point where antibiotics that were once effective are no longer working. According to ABC News, the CDC has indicated that the bacteria are more diffi- cult to treat than MRSA (methicillin-resis- tant staphylococcus aureus) and that healthy people are not in danger of the bac- teria but the aged, frail and otherwise ill patient is. The bacteria have been reported in 35 states at the time of this writing, but I am sure that number will rise before things are brought under control. It appears the hard- est-hit area is Los Angeles County, Calif., with more than 350 reported cases. The sit- uation is further complicated because many patients have numerous other health issues to deal with. Columbia University Medical Center reported that of the 42 per- cent of those patients in New York who were infected, half had organ transplants. The bacteria are most easily spread by hand-to-hand contact, such as from shak- ing hands with a physician or other health- care professional. Oddly enough, there isn’t much of a threat from using a tele- phone, touching a doorknob or bed linens, or from a doctor or nurse touching and reviewing a chart. Person-to-person con- tact is the primary culprit. All infected patients should be treated with caution, and strict guidelines must be adhered to. At this stage, intervention for rapid control of recognition is vital. DEAR DR. GOTT: We’ve just returned from a visit with our son, who is currently living in China. He is experiencing extreme numbness in the tip of the long middle finger of his right hand. This hap- pened once before and lasted a few days. This time, however, it has lasted close to a month. He won’t be returning home to the states until late summer, and I’m con- cerned about waiting so long before seek- ing help. Would acupuncture possibly be helpful? Any suggestions as to the cause of possible treatment would be greatly appre- ciated. DEAR READER: There are a number of possibilities, including a thiamine or vit- amin B12 deficiency, rheumatoid arthritis, nerve impingement and damage, cervical herniation of C 6-7, carpal-tunnel syn- drome, kidney failure or the result of PAID ADVERTISEMENT chronic alcoholism. These seem rather unlikely, so my best guess is that the prob- lem is coming directly from his hand. Something is going on with your son that either he has ignored or has chosen not to address. The issue here is that he needs to have testing done to zero in on the exact cause of the numbness. He can likely wait until he returns home; however, I am sure that he can see a qualified physician before he gets here. If he cannot find relief through his doctor, he can ask for a referral for a second opinion, perhaps from a hand specialist. Trigger-point therapy has proven suc- cessful for numerous conditions. Because acupuncture has many similarities, he cer- tainly might find relief going that route. It’s worth a try. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com.