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DILBERT Scott Adams PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis PICKLES Brian Crane BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman GET FUZZY Darby Conley ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey ARGYLE SWEATER Scott Hilburn BIZARRO Dan Piraro DEAR CAROLYN » As a man with an overweight girl- friend, I feel a bit demon- ized by this column (http:// wapo.st/1jbbY1P) and advice. Me, I'm small and healthy. I saw her pictures online and knew she had some weight on her, but she was appealing enough. She admitted since those pictures were taken, she added 30 pounds from a stressful divorce. Am I also a heartless superficial slob to want her to lose the 30 pounds she recently gained? I agree if one partner is too demanding of a certain im- age/appearance or other attribute, then maybe the couple should split. But isn't there room for compromise, and having some mutual health and appearance goals? — Skinny Boyfriend DEAR SKINNY BOYFRIEND » No. You don't get to have goals for other adults, not "health and appearance" goals, not any other kind of goals. You just don't. You can, of course, want someone to lose 30 pounds without being a heartless superficial slob. You can find those pounds unattractive. You can find them indicative of some- thing else that worries you. You can break up with (or not go out with) some- one over these things. You can also (fill in your thoughts, desires, biases, etc., here), as long as this (whatever) governs you and your behavior alone. But you cannot stay with someone while wish- ing that she would improve upon the version of herself she presented to you when you met, not without crossing the line between positioning yourself as an equal and assuming the role of mentor, coach, ren- ovator — as in, superior. Occasionally in a healthy, power-balanced relationship, two people will want something differ- ent from each other, sure. But they have to approach it as equal partners, meaning basic respect for boundary lines: My feelings about you are my business, but your body and choices are yours. DEAR CAROLYN » I'm an adult who recently moved back home. I'm having a hard time adjusting to the loss of independence. The one thing that really drives me crazy is that almost ev- ery time my mom speaks to me, she uses a pet name or a childhood nickname. I'm not financially inde- pendent, and I know my parents love me and do so much for me, so I don't want to seem unapprecia- tive or unreasonable. The obvious answer is to just talk to my mom about it, but in past conversations, I could tell she felt hurt by my asking her to treat me as more of an adult. Do you have any suggestions? — Anonymous DEAR ANONYMOUS » Just be direct. "Mom, I love you and I'm grateful to be here. The loss of independence is hard for me, though. One thing would help: Would you please not call me by pet names? I get this will be an adjust- ment, but we're both find- ing our way." Man hopes for change from girlfriend packing extra weight Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. Answer to Previous Puzzle Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. NEA Crossword Aries (March 21-April 19) — Damaging rumors will run ram- pant if you are overly attracted to one of your co-workers. Protect your job by keeping your personal life a secret. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — If your working conditions need improvement, get together with your colleagues and take some recommendations to your employer. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — We all go through periods when we feel restless and need to experience something different. Making a change to your routine will lift your spirits. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Look in on relatives who have health issues. Keep your work plans a secret until you are ready to make your play. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Your attention to detail will make a good impression. Delegate jobs that you can't complete to someone you have faith in. Your self-con- fidence will attract positive attention. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — A social function may lead to confusion, deceit or unpre- dictable motives. Someone may be trying to take advantage of your knowledge or connections. Avoid making promises. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Make sure you have all the pertinent details before making accusations or demands. You have a lot to lose if you are unin- formed. Keep your ideas under wraps for now. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Take a break and slow down. Your stress level is high, and you could be risking your health if you don't deal with minor is- sues now. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Your goals may be admi- rable and your intentions good, but you could lose a few friends along the way. Don't turn into a know-it-all, or you will alienate those around you. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Be mindful when choosing your friends and colleagues. You will be offered help, but you must impart guidance if you want things done to your specifications. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — It's time to stop making excuses regarding fitness and diet programs. Procrastination will only make things worse. Get moving; the goal is to look bet- ter and feel healthier. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Trouble may be brewing. It's essential to keep open the lines of communication between you and your partner or colleagues. Don't wait until it's too late, when you'll only regrets. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol FRIDAY, APRIL 4 Friday, april 4, 2014 rEdBlUFFdailyNEWS.COM | YOUR DAILY BREAK | 5 B