Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/263782
5B Thursday, February 20, 2014 – Daily News DILBERT Scott Adams PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis PICKLES Brian Crane BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman GET FUZZY Darby Conley ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey ARGYLE SWEATER Scott Hilburn BIZARRO Dan Piraro DEAR CAROLYN » You've run a number of columns on people having cold feet and the relationship (later) failing. Common knowl- edge says the first variable automatically means the second variable occurs. But what about having cold feet and the marriage works out? I ask because my mother (and other ladies in her generation) scoffs at cold feet. She told me that my dad had it, and she just "let him" freak out. He got his act together after a few days, and she married him. They've been together 50-plus years. My aunts tell me that a couple of my uncles did the same, and these women just brushed it off! It all worked out for them too. During my bridesmaid days, I remember a friend or two freaking out. Those worked out too. I've seen accounts where people claim they had cold feet after the relationship col- lapses. But that's so easy to say in the afterthought! My friends don't re- member saying that stuff, but I bet if they got di- vorced, they would. What do you say for those who have cold feet but end up happily married decades later? — Cold Feet I don't like the term "cold feet." It's vague and can mean something dif- ferent to every person who feels it, which opens up someone with legitimate doubts to false assurances of, "Oh, everyone feels that, and then stays hap- pily married for 95 years." Not only are the seeds of doubt highly individual, so is one's definition of "it all worked out." Does that mean they were genuinely happy — or does that just mean they didn't divorce? Some pretty miserable unions manage to go the distance. I also don't like agendas when it comes to marriage. A generation doesn't have to wake up day after day in any given marriage; only the two people in it do. When brides and grooms have doubts, I hope they face them squarely. I hope the people they confide in have the compassion and pres- ence of mind to draw the bride or groom out a bit, and then listen carefully enough to offer the right kind of reassurance — either that it's OK to feel nervous or that it's OK to walk away. Presumably loved ones know the bride or groom well enough to recognize whether "freak- ing out" is in character or not, and founded or not. I hope they don't bring any biases for or against marriage or for or against the people involved to their counsel, at least not without labeling them as such. I think "cold feet" suf- ferers of all kinds, even the ones who just are nervous about the significance of the commitment, should read here or hear from someone they love: It's OK to face your doubts, whether the episode lasts an hour or two or pre- empts the wedding itself. The only wedding that has to happen is the one the couple enters freely and unburdened. Pre-wedding cold feet and the chance of happily ever after Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. Answer to Previous Puzzle Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. NEA Crossword Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Engage in opportunities that will expand your skill set. Explore alternate sources of entertainment to bring about a positive change. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Flexibility will be necessary when dealing with a personal or business partner, and will also help to strengthen your union. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — You may be feeling roman- tic, but caution must be taken where intimacy is concerned. Hurt feelings and resentment will develop if your actions or intentions are misinterpreted. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Let your imagination inspire you. Find a hobby that stimulates and rejuvenates your imagination. Your efforts may be rewarding if you are able to market your new skills. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — You mustn't allow others to stifle your talents. Follow your intuition and keep your dreams in sight. Your excellent memory is an important facet of your personality. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Your home decor and improve- ment plans will prove challeng- ing if you let someone meddle. Refrain from listening to anyone trying to deter you from follow- ing through with your project. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Get to know your friends and neighbors better. You can obtain a lot of information by listening and observing how others react to situations that arise. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Don't jump to conclusions. The situation may turn out to be much different from the one you imagine. Get all the information before you make a decision. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Take a look at your personal and business relationships. Someone you are dealing with may be looking for a firm com- mitment. Be honest and up- front about your concerns. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Resist telling anyone intimate details about your personal life. Serious problems may arise if you are not mindful of someone else's privacy. Use discretion in both personal and professional relationships. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Lighten up and have some fun. Accepting invitations to social activities is a sure way to meet new and exciting people. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Your position may be jeopardized if someone tries to take credit for your work. Ex- pend the effort and present and promote your accomplishments to your employer to ensure your advancement. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol THURSDAY, FEB. 20