Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/259054
5B Wednesday, February 12, 2014 – Daily News DILBERT Scott Adams PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis PICKLES Brian Crane BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman GET FUZZY Darby Conley ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey ARGYLE SWEATER Scott Hilburn BIZARRO Dan Piraro DEAR CAROLYN » I am 23. About a year ago I was diagnosed with what turned out to be a non-life- threatening cancer. Dur- ing surgery and radiation, I was lucky enough to have a wonderful significant other and the care of my family. I'm healthy now. Through- out that time, I (or my family) sent infre- quent update emails to friends and our extended family letting them know what was going on. At one point, I an- nounced that I was ready for visitors and phone calls. I heard from a few people, but not at all from some friends I would have expected to hear from. Since for some people I was the first to go through an illness this serious, I understand that people didn't know how to react or what to say. Though my feelings were hurt at the time, this isn't something I am choosing to hold grudges over. But now, as I'm re- emerging, friends will say things along the lines of, "Sorry I wasn't in touch more, but I knew you were well taken care of," and I don't know how to respond. I'm not angry, but I don't want them to think that if another friend were to ask for visitors during an illness, it's OK to just not reply. How do I respond when friends say things like this? — Healthy But Confused DEAR HEALTHY » Welcome to the weirdness of crisis, where your besties can vanish while casual pals surprise and sustain you. Now that you're feel- ing better, you have an impulse to make people more crisis-friendly by educating them. It's not your responsibility, though — at least, it's not your job to change the way anyone responds to some friend's future illness. It is your job, as a friend, to be a friend, which includes: sharing your feelings, and giving those close to you a chance to give you what you want and need. If you look at it that way, then I think you'll answer your own question on how to respond to your friends' excuses. To mere acquaintances — or those whose absence didn't rattle you — you give the hey-no-worries treatment. Give yourself permission not to get involved in their need to kid themselves. With friends whose absence did rattle you, deploy the truth as a mat- ter of friendship: "I was well cared for, yes, but I missed you and was hurt you didn't come." If they take it as a guilt trip, then assure them that's not your intent. Explain that you understand you were the "first pancake," the one to spring a serious illness on an unprepared group of friends. Assure them you're not upset or holding a grudge — you just didn't want to give them some shallow, insincere "Hey, no worries!" when in fact it did matter to you. The results could be awkward. Or, the ensuing conversation could bring you closer to these select few friends than before. While battling illness, friends seem to avoid facing the crisis Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. Answer to Previous Puzzle Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. NEA Crossword Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Organize personal paperwork or deal with unfinished projects to put an accomplished feel on the day. Relaxation in the evening will be rewarding. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Devote time to your favorite hobby or one of your many tal- ents. Someone who comes from a very different background will inspire you. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Don't damage your reputation by revealing secret information. In order to avoid a problem with your friends or relatives, be very careful what you say to whom. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — A change of scenery will go a long way toward reducing your stress. Avoid people and situa- tions that are getting you down. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Reflect on your past and think about what you want and need out of life to begin the process of making your dreams come true. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Keep your anger at bay. You risk overreacting if you take constructive criticism too seri- ously. Find an enjoyable activity that will help you stay calm and out of trouble. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Speak up if you feel someone is withholding important infor- mation from you. Getting all the facts and asking the right questions could have a positive effect on your future. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Do something physical to relieve your boredom. Rather than dwell on your problems, check out your community for activities that interest you. You will be pleasantly surprised at what you discover. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — You may feel disappointed with the way your life is going. Don't let your fears prevent you from reaching your goals. Make personal improvements. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Today will be a success if you devote your energy and enthu- siasm to a cause you believe in. You will make new friends with your pleasant attitude and desire to help. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Attend to unfinished business. You must sort through personal documents carefully in order to avoid a costly mistake. If you offer assistance to some- one who needs it, you'll receive similar treatment. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Those who love you deserve your attention. If something is seriously bothering you, now is the time to clear it up. Problems will continue to grow if you neglect them. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol WEDNESDAY, FEB. 12