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Friday, February 25, 2011 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Invalid in-laws incessantly imposing Dear Annie: We daugh- ters-in-law have a problem. Our in-laws are unable to care for themselves. More than 10 years ago, Mom developed a brain tumor. She’s lost her long-term memory, and her personali- ty went from sweet to the complete opposite. Dad has been a saint caring for her. All of the siblings con- Annie’s Mailbox tribute as much time and money as we can, but we don’t all live close by, and we have our own health problems and other obligations. Both Mom and Dad are diabetic and over- weight. Family members bring in food, and they are signed up for Meals on Wheels, but they still don’t eat enough protein. They also smell of urine, and we’re not sure how often they bathe. We have arranged to do their laundry and for someone to clean the house every week. by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar He’s afraid if they sell the house, they will run out of money before they die. We have asked our husbands to talk to Dad, but they haven’t. Should we contact their doc- tors? What do we do next? — Help, Please Dear Help: You are car- ing daughters-in-law to take on this responsibility. By all means, talk to their doctors so they are aware of all fac- tors regarding your in-laws’ health. You can check out in-home support and other options through the Eldercare Locator (www.eldercare.gov) at 1-800-677- 1116. Or, for a fee, you can arrange a consultation through the National Assn. of Professional Geriatric Care Managers at caremanager.org. Dear Annie: Does it ever drive you crazy that you get only one side of the story from people asking your advice? Mom wears adult diapers, but still has accidents. She falls a lot, and Dad cannot pick her up. She has a medical alarm that occasionally is set off accidentally in the middle of the night. Dad takes his hearing aids out when he sleeps and doesn’t hear the telephone call from the compa- ny or from us, and Mom won’t answer the phone. My husband ends up rushing there in the wee hours, and it wreaks havoc on his workday. Dad doesn’t think they can afford to go into assisted living. The economy is coming back for 2011 -- and so should you. Come back to believing in the future again. Come back to planning and investing for the future. Come back to strategizing for your education, and your career, and your retirement. The future hasn't given up. It will arrive on schedule. And yours will be a better future if you keep your eyes on it. You made it through the worst times seen in generations -- and you're here to read these pages because you know that your financial future depends on you and the actions you take. 7 lessons learned 1. Life isn't easy. Until recently, the American econ- omy soared to new heights, and was faced only with short recessions. Something always "bailed out" our problems. The good bailouts were the technology revolution that created tremendous growth and productivity. The bad bailouts were the continued growth of credit that propelled the stock market and the housing market. Then reality set in when the credit bub- ble finally burst. 2. The lessons that cost the most, teach the most. That's a lesson that every genera- tion has to learn for itself. Sadly, each generation hasn't the patience to listen to their grandparents or parents tell their tales of woe. Now you will have your own stories to tell your grand- children one day. And they won't listen either. But once you've learned your lesson about the dangers of borrowing -- as the Depression-era families did -- you'll be very careful and conservative about debt in the future. 3. The answers aren't obvious, and obvious answers are usually wrong. Many people are taking away the wrong answers from the lessons they learned. For example, many younger investors have sworn off investing for the future, as they watched their work- place retirement accounts melt away. They missed the less obvious lesson that the shares were still there -- but the money was lost. If they had held on to the shares -- and continued to buy more -- they would have recouped most of their losses -- and been poised to profit in the future. back. 4. America has always come That's the lesson of history. If you had lived through the Civil War or the Great Depression or World War II -- or many challenges in our history -- you might have been tempted to give up on the future of this country. Some did. And the few who left denied their chil- dren the benefits of a society that has created a better standard of living for more people than any other on earth. My sister used to be under the care of a psychiatrist, and she would relate some of the stuff she told the therapist. From my perspective, her therapist was getting an awfully slanted view of the facts, with my sister portraying herself in the best possible light. How is it possible to give useful advice if your under- standing of the situation might well be skewed? — Just Wondering Dear Wondering: We understand quite well that we are only getting one side of the story — it’s the only one available to us. Even so, for the person writing, that is their reality, Think you might want to live in China? 5. America rewards working hard and working smart. That should be an inspiration to all of us to plan for the future. An educa- tion will be required -- but not if it leaves you buried in debt that you cannot repay. Entrepreneurs will be rewarded with wealth because they were creative and took risks, and because their success improves life for all of us. They create the jobs and the incomes. Why take the risk if you can't dream of the reward? 6. We can't be depen- dent on the government. Remember the immor- and the only way to help is to acknowledge it as such and work from there. We are, however, more fortunate than psychiatrists because our readers are eager to weigh in and give us an earful of the ‘‘other side’’ of the story. Dear Annie: I would like to add another suggestion for ‘‘Paranoid,’’ the 15-year-old victim of a home burglary. I suggest she call the family court in her locale and ask to speak to a victim’s assistance counselor. Many municipalities offer myriad services, programs and counseling through their courts that are effec- tive and oftentimes free. In addition, many places have funds set aside for victims of crimes to get whatev- er help they may need. Even if the family court itself offers no services, an officer or counselor at the court could direct this teen to any number of resources in the community. — Carol in Kirk- wood, Mo. Dear Carol: Thanks to all the readers who wrote in with sugges- tions and letters of support. We appreciate your concern. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your ques- tions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Centu- ry Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Apersonal financial strategy guide to 2011 No matter what your age, go to www.choosetosave.org and click on the "Ballpark Estimate." You'll learn how much more you need to save so you'll have a good chance at a reason- able lifestyle in retirement. Your plan- ning for retirement should start with your first job -- but it is never too late to face real- ity. loans. 3. Deal with student Did you know that the Terry Savage The tal words of President Kennedy: "Ask not what your country can do for you ... " Plan for indepen- dence, because there is no way our country can take care of all of us as we age. Of course, America has always taken care of the neediest among us, and will always try to do so. But will we have the resources and the growth to provide for everyone? Or will we resort to debt and money print- ing? And how long will that work? 7. It pays to be an optimist. As you look forward to your finan- cial future, be optimistic, no matter how tough times are at the moment. Optimism is positive and contagious, and it leads the way forward. Every day think of one thing that you are thankful for -- and one possibility that you could make happen in the future. It's one step at a time for everyone, even though in hindsight it appears that some leapfrog over reality by get- ting lucky or winning a lottery. Actual- ly, when you think about it, there are probably at least 3 billion people around the world who think you won the lottery just by being an American. 7 steps to take now Savage government can deduct unpaid student loans from your Social Security pay- ments? That is a huge irony - - the fact that the government knows the burden of student loans is so huge that you might be paying them off when you are a senior citi- zen! Truth on Money 4. Give yourself a prop- erty insurance checkup. When you're struggling, it's tough to think about spending money on insur- ance. But just think about how much worse off you might be without insurance - - whether homeowners, renters or auto -- in case of an unex- pected crisis. It doesn't cost anything to sit down with a qualified agent and go over your entire financial situation and exposure. 5. Prepare for emergencies. Update your will or revocable liv- ing trust. You don't need a huge "estate" to have an estate plan. In fact, most of the important decisions you should make are not about money. Make sure you have created a health care power of attorney and a living will -- and that you have given a copy of each to your primary physician, as well as a trusted family member. If you are unable to make medical deci- sions for yourself, you want your wishes to be followed. 6. Weigh long-term care insur- ance. 1. Help someone else get a job. That's unusual financial advice for the top of my list, but if you think about it, it really makes sense. We need a united effort to get people back to work. So to the extent that you have some ability to offer a job -- at any level -- to someone who needs work, just do it! Take the risk of putting someone back on your payroll. 2. Face up to planning for retire- ment. This is your own personal chal- lenge, and it's growing more important by the day as state programs fail to keep pace with the needs of retirees. Dr. Andrew PomazalD.O. Physician & Surgeon General Medicine Saturday Appointments Available • High Blood Pressure • Diabetes • Joint & Muscle Pain • Lung Problems We offer Osteopathic Manipulation 530 528-2066 2050 Main St, Red Bluff Accepting New Patients Red Bluff Garden Center 527-0886 766 Antelope Blvd. (next to the fairgrounds) I know I've become a nag on this subject -- but only because I see it as a coming disaster for an entire genera- tion. Here in Illinois, the state is already way behind on its bills to state- funded nursing homes. And that's where you'll find yourself if you can't afford $6,500 a month or more for pri- vate care at home or in assisted living. 7. Get qualified help. Be careful about whom you trust to give you advice. Always ask how the person is compensated, which must either be by a set fee, an hourly rate or by a commission that may be hidden in the price of a product you buy. Terry Savage can be reached at www.terrysavage.com. starting class Seed Sat., Feb. 26th @ 10am Call for reservation What is diverticulosis? DEAR DR. GOTT: Several months ago, I was diagnosed with diverticulosis. Can you tell me the dif- ference between diverticulosis and diverticulitis? Some days I do well with this problem, and other days are awful. I am trying to eat the right kinds of food, but still some days are bad. Do you have any suggestions on what foods are good for this problem? Dr. Peter Gott hospitalization, IV antibiotics and a few days without food to allow the colon time to heal. For more detailed informa- tion on this topic, I suggest you visit the National Digestive Dis- eases Information website at www.digestive.niddk.nih. gov. DEAR READER: Diverticulosis occurs when small pouches in the lining of the large intestine bulge outward. Each pouch is called a diverticu- lum, while multiple pouches are known as diverticula. Most people with diverticulosis are symptom-free. Those with symptoms will have cramps and bloating of the lower abdomen. They may complain of constipation. When diverticula become inflamed, the con- dition is known as diverti- culitis. Pain may be mild or appear suddenly, increasing in intensity in the lower left abdomen. A person may have a fever, chills, vomiting, nausea and experience a change in bowel habits. There may be bleeding from weak- ened small blood vessels in the diverticulum, colon blockage and infection. Diverticulitis can lead to infection, which can be treated successfully with antibiotics. If the infection worsens, an abscess may form on the colon wall. Diverticular disease, a blanket term used to describe both diverticulo- sis and diverticulitis, is likely the result of a low- fiber diet, lack of exercise and obesity. It is often diagnosed when a physi- cian is testing a patient for a completely different ail- ment. For example, it can be identified during a colonoscopy that a physi- cian may perform to rule out polyps or cancer, through CT (computerized tomography) or abdominal ultrasound. Treatment for relatively mild cases is with pain medication, oral antibi- otics and a high-fiber diet. Fiber will keep stool softer and lower pressure within the colon at the same time. Severe cases may require To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Diverticular Dis- ease.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: Could you please tell me what a carcinoid tumor is and what causes them? I was recently diagnosed with some in my stomach. DEAR READER: Car- cinoid tumors are slow- growing tumors that com- monly begin in the lungs or digestive tract. Because they are slow growing, they don’t produce symp- toms in their early stages. They excrete hormone- like substances. In later stages, flushing of the face and upper chest, cough, hemoptysis, chest pain, wheezing, bowel obstruction, diarrhea and difficulty breathing may occur. The primary treatment for this condition is surgery, which will be suc- cessful as long as the can- cer has not spread to other parts of the body. Treat- ment modalities for arrest- ing tumor growth are experimental at this stage but show great promise. Chemotherapy is of little benefit and is not general- ly indicated. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com Oh Snap! The Daily News wants your photos: Cute kids, Adorable pets, Inspirational sights, Any shot you think readers would enjoy You might just see it in the Daily News Send pictures to editor@redbluffdailynews.com or drop off at 545 Diamond Ave. in Red Bluff. Include a caption.