Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/25571
4B – Daily News – Tuesday, February 22, 2011 Caring for the aging when love is not enough It’s an issue we need to find a process to improve. Being a caregiver is the way I define myself and my life for better or for worse, no matter what other hats I wear. In being an around the clock caregiver one must make adjustments every single day. In my office I am surrounded by volumes of books and CDs from conferences of men- tors that have helped me in my journey toward perfecting my caregiving skills. Former first lady Rosalyn Carter who spearheaded RCI (Rosalyn Carter Institute) helped to determine the needs of those people who provided care. My telephone conversations with Connie Goldman and her encour- aging information have helped me in transforming the hardship of caregiving into hope and heal- ing. I am also inspired by the insightful words of Dana Reeve, wife and caregiver to actor Christopher Reeve who suffered paralyzing spinal injuries in 1995. Being a caregiver has deepened the way I think about love, family, and com- mitment. It hasn’t been a burden for me it’s been a deep personal journey a very special experience. Caregiving can be a gift in dis- guise, an experience that moves you toward a more meaningful connection with your- self and to those whom you love. When helping a once independent loved one, one needs to have enough insight on how they feel; it is not easy for them. We need to avoid treating them like objects, as territory to be captured rather than someone respect- ed in his or her own right. Affective caring entails listening skills to discover the per- son’s needs and life’s situation before you do anything else in the helping relationship. You must always be sensitive to each indi- viduals situations, what the persons needs are besides the cleaning or cooking or errands your doing for them. You need to listen attentively and explore an individual’s frame of reference before you can minister effectively to that person. I have the privilege, the right, and the responsibility to be distinctively Christian when I relate to and care for others. The resources I have at my disposal are not to be ignored neither should they be used inap- propriately. I’ve learned to use them sensi- bly and effectively. At this point I cannot emphasize enough the importance in this day of growth and technology that we use the resources we have for families concern- ing abuse. I don’t want us to lose our origi- nal intent of nurturing, of quality, of com- mon sense of open caring and support for our loved ones. I’ve worked intermittently in facilities and in extensive home health care where I’ve become so very frustrated trying to make a difference in this area of lack of care that my tears where about the whole institutional approach. The bureau- cracy and fighting over medical systems and the bottom line money. Caregiving in the home is becoming more necessary due to the financial burden Ruth Garzon it brings upon the family. However, as the elderly one begins to decline so does the inability to recognize when they are being abused. I’ve gone into homes and some- times shocked at the poor quality caregiving that is being given to one who has no voice. Many family caregivers I have spoken to and trained feel helpless to get the care they want for their parents and loved ones, just plain “lousy care.” they say. Many have said to me, “Ruth my tears and exhaustion are more about the fights to get adequate care for my mom than the deteri- oration of my mom’s function- ing.” We’re in a culture that has not yet thought this through. We’re in a society which already has so many elderly people that need nursing home care, our cul- ture has just not planned for what it’s going to take to care for the frail and elderly in the future. I have decided to make it a part of my mission to utilize resources in preventing elderly abuse. I know these problems can’t be solved easily, but shouldn’t there be a way to make humane care more widely available? I come from the old school of nursing like Barbara Karns who said, “Dear God I seek to heal not hurt.” We used bag balm for skin care and mayonnaise jars for uri- nals what we lacked in supplies and knowl- edge we made up for with time and nurtur- ing. One only needs to read Barbara’s book on The Final Act of Living to see that we have practically lost the simple ways of viewing death and caring for those at the end of their life. And finally, I’ve learned that as we are born so we must die. Time consistently moves us in the direction of death and yet it is in that very time each moment that life is felt and experienced each second gives us the opportunity to be, to do, to see, to hear, to feel while that same second takes us to the final act of living. Thank you Barbara you have been a men- tor. Mother Theresa taught me there are many medicines and cures for all kind s of sick people but unless kind hands are given in service and generous hearts are given in love I don’ t think there can ever be any cure for the terrible sickness of feeling unloved and abused. Again where is your loved one? Whose hands are caring for your loved one? There are people I’ve cared for who have passed in my arms that the light they lit in my heart continues to shine still. I have walked in the rooms of ones left to die alone uncared for, for they had no one who cared. One stated, “I have lived like an animal but I’m going to die like an angel surrounded by love and care. I urge people to join our work in the com- munity for our elderly need to be watched. Let us be their voice. Those interested in participating in a caregiving group in Red Bluff please contact Ruth Garzon at ruthgarzon@att.net. How did boomer retirement problem surprise us? By JANE GLENN HAAS The Orange County Regis- ter (MCT) It's all my fault. I've got a Medicare card, so I must be a Greedy Geezer. Ah, but I'm not alone anymore. Now if you're a Boomer, it's your fault too. The Boomers are push- ing the nation to hell in a handbasket, according to economists adding up the loss of jobs plus the loss of retirement savings in the stock market meltdown. From that set of negatives, they deduct the first of the Boomer wave reaching 65 and retch. How can the nation's economy survive the loss of boomer spending power while paying for the added cost of Social Security and Medicare, they ask? Which leaves me won- dering why nobody saw it coming. Like the Boomer tsunami was a surprise? Suddenly, an entire genera- tion bursting the budget bubble? Because we are not pro- viding earning opportuni- ties for these workers, the taxpayer stands to lose mil- lions of dollars. Why? Because some- body has to pay for their medical care and, in extreme cases, housing and food. Because those who don't work don't pay taxes. And when they reach the age to draw Social Security, they draw less _ hence con- tinuing to need extra public health benefits. It all seems simple. Start at step one and go forward. Start with someone like Cherry from Orange, Calif. She worked for 22 years for a hospital system and planned to retire at 62, "so I could move to Humboldt County where the Red- woods make me feel at home." Instead, she was down- sized. Yes, she got some severance. Yes, she drew one round of unemploy- ment then turned 59 { and started drawing on her retirement savings until she reached 62 and was eligible for Social Security. She was looking for another job. At the same time, she had to spend more time with her mother and step-dad, both of whom were having memory prob- lems. She saved the state thousands in caregiving costs until she had to put them in an institution because their care exceeded her capability. In the middle of all this, she ran into one of the senior vice presidents of the company she used to work for. She asked Cherry, "How are you enjoying retirement?" Cherry told her she hadn't planned to retire at all. Yes, there are those actu- ally enjoying retirement. Kay belongs to the "Partners in Chime" group at Anaheim Senior Center. "I go with our group to per- form concerts in the com- munity. Do you know what that means to a 65-year- old? To feel useful and to be able to entertain others?" And then there's Scott from Lake Havasu, Ariz. He says his situation is "hopeless." "I've spent my own money trying to go back to school and get certified for helping seniors with end- of-life issues. After I got the certification, I was sup- posed to buy ads and spend other dollars on marketing. I've only got so much money." And so another Boomer turns to unemployment welfare checks. I'm not a financial or political expert. But the sit- uation seems obvious to me: Boomers need help now to remain financially inde- pendent in the future. People don't suddenly lose their skills when they blow out 50 candles on the birthday cake. . Here we have a huge generation, almost 80 mil- lion people, reaching 50, 55, even 65, at the rate of seven per minute. Current projections say these people will live to be 80 to 90 years old. Please don't tell me 50 is life's peak. Boomers still have so much to contribute and give back to society. Let's make sure the social contract starts with employment before retire- ment. It just makes sense. Jane Glenn Haas is the founder of WomanSage. Contact her at jghaas@cox.net.