Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/254638
FEBRUARY 5-11, 2014 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Flesh Prince My boyfriend of two years has always disparaged gentlemen's clubs. I truly believed him until he visited his family and I searched Google Maps on his computer for something in his hometown. The text box predicted "strip clubs". I confronted him, and looking to prove me wrong, he showed me his "places" history. Various searches for strip clubs showed up. He claimed he didn't do these searches and suggested that his brother or someone who borrowed his computer did. We have sex regularly, and he is loving and treats me very well, so I put aside his lying and gave him another chance. Disturbingly, I just found some Hooters coupons with his stuff. I think that the fact that he may go to these places doesn't bother me as much as the fact that he's lying about it. — Worried A woman wants to believe a man when he claims he hates those nasty "gentlemen's clubs." Yeah, the last thing any man wants to see is a totally hot 21-year-old with enormous breasts doing upside-down splits on a pole. There's that line from politics: "It isn't the crime; it's the cover-up." Not only did your boyfriend pre-lie, but he followed up with the obvious honker that it had to be somebody else searching for nudie bars on his computer. As for why he lied, consider that there's a notion that men are pigs — simply for being men. Men evolved to be highly visual and variety-driven in their sexual desire, while women evolved to be more emotion- and commitment-driven. Male sexuality isn't wrong; it's just different. But men are so used to being under attack for what turns them on that many default to denying it. They keep mum to avoid conflict in their relationships, in part because they think they could never explain male desire in a way that wouldn't make your head fly off. The truth is, we all lie, all day long, and often think nothing of it. If you cram your muffin-top into Spanx or put goop on your eyebags, you're lying about what you really look like. And frankly, if people could read our thoughts, most of us wouldn't make it to lunchtime without a co-worker's bludgeoning us with a stapler. But we alone know what we're thinking. Still, fantasizing and cheating are two different things. Sure, some guys who go to strip clubs are looking to get some on the side, but a guy can do that at the office or the corner bar without breaking out a wad of Benjamins. If you have reason to believe your boyfriend is a good guy, driven by ethical standards instead of what he can get away with, chances are he's just looking at strippers from time to time instead of looking to get some strange. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19)There's a fine line between expressing your own individuality and rejecting the group culture of those around you. Put the group culture first and you'll have no trouble finding windows of opportunity to be unique. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) You like to concentrate on what needs to be done and can't see the point of dwelling on what you've already accomplished. It's necessary to compartmentalize the past, but don't forget it. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) It's only natural to leave the door of your heart open around loved ones. Being so emotionally vulnerable is not always best for your relationships. To protect your heart's treasures, you must sometimes lock them up. CANCER (June 22-July 22) Your neighborhood is really only as good as your neighbors. Taking care of those who live around you will be part of today's work and in doing this, you'll be improving the domestic life of many. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)Misinformation will provide a test of your inner guidance system. You are not likely to believe something just because it's what you're asked to believe. You have to feel the truth of things at a bone level. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)Today, you will have to bend to avoid breaking. Flexibility is not one of your main strengths and yet, you will be willing to do whatever it takes to help your plans bear fruit. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23)You have one style of doing things, and someone close to you has a completely different approach. The two styles may clash, and someone will have to back down. If this person is you, you won't be sorry. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Your love takes work now, and your work takes love. It feels so worthwhile though as today's project will provide you with excitement on par with romantic rapture. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) The thing you do as an escape will wind up being the exact opposite of escape. It will connect you to the moment and to the people who share it with you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)You are now doing the work that once seemed so beyond your capabilities. Backing out was never an option for you, and now you and your crew will benefit from your perseverance. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You'll enjoy the challenge of being a stranger in a new land for a few hours today, and this experience will teach you something about your confidence, defense mechanisms and social strengths. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Thinking ahead is your talent now. You've witnessed the kinds of difficulties and delays that are caused by a lack of preparation, and you're determined to do everything you can to get ready for what's to come. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Ask Americans how they stand compared to their fellow countrymen, and in survey after survey, the vast majority rank themselves "above average" in such areas as driving skill, sexual prowess, and general honesty. A recent study of English prisoners, published in the British Journal of Social Psychology, revealed that those miscreants think they, too, are in the upper half. They rate themselves above average (whether compared to Britons in prison or in society at large) in compassion, generosity, dependability, trustworthiness and honesty. In fact, the only trait on the University of Southampton survey on which the criminals failed to rank themselves as better than the typical Brit was "law- abidingness." On that trait, the inmates rated themselves merely as "average." [Pacific Standard magazine, 1-7-2014] Compelling Explanations Pastor Ray Scott Teets, 66, of Fallen Timbers Community Chapel in Springhill Township, Pa., arrested in November for alleged "inappropriate contact" with an 11-year-old girl (daughter of parishioners) on at least three occasions, denied to police that the meetings were inappropriate. The girl, he said, requested counseling with him and suggested that the sessions take place in the storage shed in back of the chapel. (The girl said there were six meetings, lasting about 15 minutes each, and denied initiating them.) [WTAE-TV (Pittsburgh), 11-22-2013] -- Robert Bourque, 55, was convicted of DUI in Sarnia, Ontario, in October, but continued to deny the charge. He admitted he had four beers on the day of the traffic stop but said the Breathalyzer result was misleading because he had recently poured alcohol into his ears to test his theory about how Jesus healed the sick. (Bourque was acting as his own lawyer.) Toronto Sun, 10-11-2013] The mother and other relatives of William Medina, 24, said they felt hurt by the public's comments suggesting that Medina and his partner in the November Reading, Pa., armed robbery were "thugs." William was a "family man" -- "no big hard criminal," his mother said. The two robbers, armed and wearing masks, were gunned down by a Krick's Korner customer who said he feared the worst when he saw the robbers leading a store employee at gunpoint into a back room. A Medina cousin said he deplored people's taking the law into their own hands. [WFMZ-TV (Allentown, Pa.), 11-5-2013] COPYRIGHT 2011 CHUCK SHEPHERD Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard For the Week of January Jan. 27, 2014 By Holiday Mathis Talk Line: 910-864-6400 Local News, Weather, Traffi c & Sports Good Morning Fayetteville with Goldy & Jim Weekday Mornings 6-10 a.m. W