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Friday, February 11, 2011 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Gauging gala guests generating grief Dear Annie: I have some concerns about the guest list for my daughter’s upcoming nuptials. She has always been budget conscious, and I appreciate her attempts to keep the guest list to a mini- mum, but it’s created a prob- lem. She and her fiance initially decided to limit the guests to those 18 and older. Unfortu- nately, this would have excluded her first cousins, plus some of her fiance’s close family. I suggested setting the age at 12 and above, thinking this would appease all family members and we wouldn’t have to worry about little ones disrupting the ceremony or distracting their parents. However, this resulted in a sizable disagreement, and she now has decided to include all chil- dren. I would like to share this wonderful event with my extended family and included my aunts, uncles and first cousins on my portion of the guest list. My daughter revised the list to exclude my uncle and most of my cousins. She says she is close to only one of my cousins and eliminated the rest. I explained that it is inappropriate to include one cousin and not the others, just as it is wrong to invite my father’s sister, but not his brother. These disagreements are causing a great deal of unhappiness, and I don’t Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar know how to keep the peace for everyone. Please help settle this. — Distraught Mother Dear Distraught: Who is paying for the wedding? If it is your daughter and her fiance, they get to determine how many guests. They can, how- ever, give you a specific num- ber of invitations, allowing you to make the necessary decisions about your relatives. We agree that, barring a feud, she should invite both her great-aunt and great-uncle, but the bride’s mother’s first cousins are a different story. If she is close to only one, she does not need to invite the others. If you want them to attend the festivities, perhaps you could offer to pay the excess costs involved. Dear Annie: My stepdaughter is 22 years old and still living at home, although she stays with her boyfriend several nights a week at his sister’s apartment. Last week she came home to take a shower and dress for church. Her boyfriend stayed in her bedroom while she changed clothes. I am very uncom- fortable with this behavior at our house. I know she sleeps with him at his sister’s place. I feel like a hypocrite going to church and not standing up for what I believe in my own home. I have repeatedly asked her father to talk to her about having boyfriends in her bedroom, but he will not say anything. Since this is his adult child, do I have any authority to demand that she not have men in her room? After all, this is my house, too. I really want to approach this properly. Can you help? — Not Comfortable Dear Not Comfortable:You are in a tough spot. You can ask your step- daughter not to bring men into her bed- room, but if her father says it’s OK, you are out of luck. We suggest you talk to your husband and see if you can get him on the same page. Then you can tell her, ‘‘Your father and I would appreciate it if you would not bring your boyfriend into your bedroom.’’ Make sure he backs you up. Dear Annie: ‘‘Sweet Sue’’ said she was involved with a married man. It isn’t only young people who have this problem. I met a 71-year-old married man at a senior center. He was supposedly in the process of get- ting a divorce. We hit it off right away and got along so well that I moved him into my home because he told me he couldn’t stand staying with his wife one moment longer. He said he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. He stayed one month, then slept with his wife, packed his suitcase and left. I cannot believe the lies this man told me. Young people aren’t the only ones coping with the beautiful and blissful world of love and romance — Still Hurting Understand reverse mortgage options If you know a senior homeowner who is running out of money, a reverse mortgage might generate enough cash to allow them to stay in their home for many more years. Last fall, the Federal Housing Administration created new rules, and opportunities, for lower-cost reverse mort- gages. Now that most lenders have launched these new products, it's worth an updated look. A reverse mortgage turns your home into your pension, either giving you a lump-sum payout from the equity in your home or a fixed monthly check that will keep paying you as long as you live in the home. This reverse mortgage is available to homeowners age 62 or older who either have paid off their mortgage or have a small remaining balance. The amount you can receive is determined by your age, the value of your home and current interest rates. Basically, the older you are when you take out the reverse mortgage, the more money you can receive -- either in a lump sum or monthly payout. And all the money you withdraw is tax-free, since it is the return of your own capital. You don't need a credit check, and you retain title to your home. You won't have any mortgage payments, although you will be responsible for homeown- ers insurance, property taxes and upkeep on your home. But you'll now have a monthly check to pay for those expenses, or a pool of money in the bank to cover emergencies. Basically, you are just borrowing from yourself -- although you will be paying A Clean, Reliable, Trustworthy, Chimney Company... Possible? ”Their tarps are always clean and my home is always clean afterward. What I like best is their reliability and quality.” “I can trust them!” Dr. Evan Reasor Flue Season 527 3331 THE Chimney Professionals K W I K K U T S Family Hair Salon $200 REGULAR HAIRCUT off with coupon Not good with other offers 1064 South Main St., Red Bluff • 529-3540 Reg. $13.95 Expires 2/28/11 interest on that loan. But the interest is added to the amount of equity taken out of the home. When you sell the home, or die, the amount you have borrowed out of your home's equity must be repaid from the sale proceeds. Importantly, you -- or your heirs -- can never owe more than the home is worth. And you can never be forced out of your home because you've "run out" of equi- ty. Eventually, when the home is sold, because you move or die, any pro- ceeds (minus the with- drawals, interest and fees) are returned to you, or your heirs. If that sounds too good to be true, this is the one product that really is as good as it sounds -- if you understand all the details and costs. There are basically two kinds of reverse mortgages, and they are offered by many banks. Since all of these mortgages are insured by the Federal Housing Administration, they must follow the same basic rules - - although there could be some differences in cost. A reverse mortgage is called a HECM loan, which stands for Home Equity Conversion Mortgage. There are two types of loans -- the Standard HECM and the newer "HECM Saver." Each lets you borrow a dif- ferent percentage of your equity, and each has differ- ent fees. The amount you can borrow on a reverse mort- gage depends on the appraised value of your home. But no matter how valuable your home, the FHA has determined that the maximum amount of equity that will be consid- ered for a reverse mortgage in 2011 is $625,500. The interest paid (taken out of your remaining equi- ty) on both of these loans can be either at a fixed or variable rate. These days, few lenders will promise a fixed monthly payment at a fixed interest rate for the rest of your life. So most loans are variable rate, based on an index set by the FHA, and typi- cally the interest is adjusted monthly. The ini- tial interest rate on the Saver loan is slightly higher than on the Stan- dard loan. The Standard HECM loan allows you to access more money from your home equi- ty than the Saver HECM, which allows access to Terry Savage The Savage about 20 percent less equity. But the Standard requires a 2 percent upfront premium - - again taken out of your equity -- while the Saver has a tiny .01 percent upfront fee. Both loans also take a monthly insurance premi- um of 1.25 percent out of your equity to pay for the FHA insurance on these products. The FHA insurance pro- tects the lenders, so they don't lose money. Think about it this way: If the bank promises to pay you $2,000 a month for life in a reverse mortgage, and if you live to be 100, instead of the expected 85, the bank will lose out on the deal. The FHA insurance covers that possibility. The one place lenders do compete is in origination fees on these loans. The law Dr. Andrew PomazalD.O. Physician & Surgeon General Medicine Saturday Appointments Available • High Blood Pressure • Diabetes • Joint & Muscle Pain • Lung Problems We offer Osteopathic Manipulation 530 528-2066 2050 Main St, Red Bluff Accepting New Patients allows banks to charge a maximum of $6,000 in origination fees, but many lenders today advertise that they will waive the entire origination fee. (They know they will make money on the loan interest over the years -- as long as you don't live too long.) If you're inter- ested in knowing what you could get in a reverse mortgage, go to ReverseMort- gage.org, and use the online calcula- tor to see what monthly payment or lump sum may be received out of your home. You can also search for reverse mortgage lenders in your area. Truth on Money In the box here, you can see an example of what you could receive in a reverse mortgage. Are you still worried about taking money out of your home? It's understandable if you are because a reverse mort- gage is only available to a homeowner who has paid off the mortgage or has a small remaining balance. If you fall in that category, you've been a good saver all your life. So think of it as your home repaying you for all those years of sav- ing. Savvy 13 year-old diabetic takes charge DEAR DR. GOTT: I am a 13- year-old diabetic. I have good control of my diabetes, but right around Christmas, I began having unreason- ably high blood- sugar readings and I’m still having them now. The lowest sugar I have had since is 140, and the highest is 281. Dr. Peter Gott I am not sick. I have no fever and I am not vomit- ing. I do not have a cough. I have checked my ketones multiple times, and they were all negative. My insulin is not expired. I even did a control test on my meter, and it came out to 101. I asked my parents, and they believe it’s the meter. It is about 1-1/2 years old. A while ago, another one of my meters did some- thing like this. It would give me readings in the 20s and 30s when I was com- pletely fine. But the control test on that one said it was normal, too. My dad recently ordered a new meter, but what is your opinion on what could be causing these highs? Nor- mally, I rarely have a sugar over 200, but now it’s every day. I want to fix my sug- ars! In case this helps, my meter is the FreeStyle Lite and my insulin is Novolog. I also have had asthma, but it is mild and I never use an inhaler. I think I out- grew it. DEAR READER: I must begin by congratulat- ing you on your medical education. I constantly tell my readers that they need to remain informed. They can’t simply sit back and take a physician’s word for something. You appear at the top of your game, and I commend you for being in control and so knowledge- able. While your current problem began around Christmas, I strongly doubt you indulged in goodies that may have been at your disposal so I will bypass that possibility. However, could you have modified your exercise program, do you eat dinner later in the evening, or have you had any dietary changes that you might not have considered rele- vant? This product is fast acting. Are you eating within five to 10 minutes of an injection? As with all insulin, the duration of action of this medication varies according to the dose, site of injection, blood flow, activity levels and more. Could any of these conditions have been modified? Perhaps you are administering it in your thigh or upper arm as a change, when you previ- ously used your abdomen. I’m not making light of this, but you seem to be so well-informed that I’m attempting to think outside the box for an explanation. Because meters vary, I recommend that you make an appointment with your endocrinologist for a check on a regular basis. Bring your unit with you, and test it against the one in your doctor’s office immediately following his or her test. Are they synchronized or does your home unit require recalibration? If your physician sends out all work, take your meter to the hospital with you and do the testing there. To provide related infor- mation, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Living with Diabetes Mellitus.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Good luck. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com Oh Snap! The Daily News wants your photos: Cute kids, Adorable pets, Inspirational sights, Any shot you think readers would enjoy You might just see it in the Daily News Send pictures to editor@redbluffdailynews.com or drop off at 545 Diamond Ave. in Red Bluff. Include a caption.