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2B – Daily News – Wednesday, January 5, 2011 FEATURES Previous partner postulating papa Dear Annie: I am a 24- year-old mother of a 9- month-old boy and a step- mother to three older chil- dren. My husband’s ex treats me like the third wheel. She walks into my house without knocking and goes through my stepchildren’s drawers and takes things. She won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me. To top it off, my husband refuses to stand up for me. He kisses the ground this woman walks on, even though she was the one who initiat- ed the divorce. Whenever she calls, he drops everything and goes to her aid. When her car broke down, he gave her one of ours, and I ended up stranded at work. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar bitter — it made him crave her approval. He needs to understand his motivations for being at her beck and call and how this under- mines his marriage. Ask if he would be willing to attend one of your counsel- ing sessions. It could help a great deal. Dear Annie: Our son, ‘‘Troy,’’ is in love with ‘‘Jes- sica,’’ a young woman who got into debt with credit cards right out of high school. She has been repaying the money, but her credit history is ruined. The two of them now share an apartment, but Troy is not about to marry her unless she learns to be more financially responsible. Troy has told us that Jessica does She constantly interrupts the few moments I have with my husband and son by calling and texting and asking him to do stuff. She rarely has her children with her, even though she gets paid a substantial amount of child support. And what- ever she buys for them, she asks us to reimburse half. I started going to counseling just to deal with the way my husband treats me because of her. How can I get him to stop doing everything she asks? I’m tired of feeling like — A Third Wheel Dear Third Wheel: Your hus- band has put his ex-wife first in your marriage, and this is grossly unfair to you. The fact that she ini- tiated the divorce did not make him not save any money, and that she purchases things she will never use and then refuses to get rid of them. The apartment is a mess, and while part of that is Troy’s sloppiness, the other part is Jessica’s profligate pur- chases. They share the rent, but that’s all they share when it comes to income and expenses. Troy doesn’t want to nag Jessica and cause stress in the relationship. Do you have any suggestions on how he might address the money issue? — Georgetown Parents Dear Parents: Troy is smart not to marry Jessica until she can work on her spending habits, but he can- not help her if he is afraid to address the problem. This is not simple irre- sponsibility. Shopoholism is an addictive behavior. Jessica suffers from a compulsion to buy things whether she needs them or not. Sometimes it requires therapy to overcome. Troy should first contact Debtors Anonymous (debtor- sanonymous.org) at 1-800-421- 2383 for suggestions. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Losing it in Canada,’’ the parents of two children who chew with their mouths open. I suggest giving each child 25 pennies at the beginning of each meal. Every time the child needs to be corrected, he must give up a penny by putting it in the middle of the table. At the end of the meal, whatever is left will be converted into nickels, dimes or a quarter, which looks much better to them than pennies. They will soon realize they don’t want to part with their pennies. When they no longer need correcting, reward them with a special outing. — Temecula, Calif. Dear Calif: Thanks for the great idea. Several readers wrote in with suggestions to correct a child’s table manners, and we will print more in future columns. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Photography on display at TCDE The Lincoln Street School student Photo Club will be showcasing its fall 2010 photo pro- jects at a public art recep- tion in The Gallery at Tehama County Depart- ment of Education 2-3:30 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 6. Under the direction of photography teacher, Mandi Owens, students explored Tehama County, using the community as their classroom. During the eight-week session, students experimented with various artistic tech- niques, such as compres- sion while visiting Julia's Fruit Stand, truncation while touring the Red Bluff Fire Department, dramatic perspective, and trick photography, among others. Additional locations included Cone Kimball Plaza, Tehama County Courthouse, Taste of Tehama, Diamond Park, Oak Hill Cemetery, Farm Bureau's Farm Day and Educational Fair Day. Thanks to a generous donation from The Big Picture, all of the dis- played photographs have been matted for their debut Thursday. The Tehama County Department of Education is at 1135 Lincoln St. in Addiction hard to kick DEAR DR. GOTT: I took Tra- madol for years for osteoarthritis pain and found if I were late for a dose, I would start getting flu-like symptoms. I was taking three 50- milligram doses a day. Finally, with my doctor’s help, I tapered off totally but began having awful nasal allergies and constant water running out of my head. One night, because I was sick and hurting, I took two of the leftover Tramadols and, lo and behold, by morning I felt terrific. I’m 66 years old and started taking one Tramadol a day to try to keep the allergies away, but I feel better if I take two of them. My doctor doesn’t seem concerned one way or the other, but I want to know why I can- not stop taking the drug. I cannot find anything on the subject anywhere. It doesn’t seem to help the pain much, but I cannot stop taking it. HELP! DEAR READER: Tra- madol is an opiate ago- nist, a narcotic-like pain reliever used to treat moderate-to-severe pain. In the United States, it is marketed as Ultram, Rybix, Ultracet contain- ing acetaminophen or Ryzolt; in Canada, Ralivia; in Mexico, Durodor Retard and Trex- ol. The regular tablet is generally taken every four to six hours. The extended-release tablet should be taken once daily. Side effects can include blurred vision, lightheadedness, dizzi- ness, uncontrollable shak- ing, drowsiness, headache, nausea, vomit- ing and constipation. Overdose may include chest tightness, wheezing, fever, itching, cough, swelling of the face, tongue, lips or throat and cough. It can be habit- forming. Dosing should be under the strict guidance of the prescribing physi- cian. When discontinued, the Tramadol should be decreased gradually. Sudden withdrawal can lead to insomnia, runny nose, paresthesias of the hands or feet, chills, nau- sea, hallucinations and more. Courtesy photo Red Bluff. For more information about the event and Lincoln Street School, log on to www.tehamaschools.org or call 527-5811. Before beginning this medication, a physician should be advised if the user consumes alcohol or takes any medications containing alco- hol, or has a drug addiction. Should this be the case, he or she will likely recommend another drug for pain control. Dr. Peter Gott The flu-like symptoms you experienced were not flu — they were from with- drawal. The water run- ning out of your head is likely because you didn’t taper the dosage down- ward but attempted sud- den withdrawal. Osteoarthritis is a chronic disease of the joints that results from a breakdown of cartilage. It causes pain and stiffness of joints. The problem should be addressed for what it is. You might con- sider rubbing castor oil onto your affected joints, using over-the-counter Castiva, liquid pectin and purple grape juice, or glu- cosamine/chondroitin. Therapeutic exercise is important, too. Consider yoga, tai chi or water aer- obics, which will keep your joints flexible while reducing your pain. Per- haps a visit to the physi- cal-therapy department of your local hospital will be beneficial. Then, despite the fact that your doctor isn’t concerned, I recom- mend you make appoint- ments with a rheumatolo- gist to discuss treatment of your arthritis and a drug counselor for help with your addiction to Tramadol. To provide related information, I am sending you copies of my Health Reports “Managing Chronic Pain” and “Understanding Osteoarthritis.” Other readers who would like copies should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order for each report payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title(s) or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com La. has mass bird kill just days after Ark. BEEBE, Ark. (AP) — Blackbirds are having hard time staying alive in the Southeast. Just a few days after 3,000 blackbirds fell from the sky in Arkansas, about 500 birds dropped to their death in Louisiana, litter- ing a quarter-mile stretch of highway near Baton Rouge. It wasn’t clear if the deaths were linked, but such massive wildlife kills are far from uncom- mon. Biologists were trying to figure out what killed the birds in rural Pointe Coupee Parish, La. About 300 miles to the north, in the small town of Beebe in central Arkansas, sci- entists said celebratory fireworks on New Year’s Eve likely sent thousands of discombobulated blackbirds into such a tizzy that they crashed into homes, cars and each other before plummeting to their deaths. Still, offi- cials acknowledged it’s unlikely they’ll ever pin- point a cause with certain- ty. Wildlife officials in both Arkansas and Louisiana were sending carcasses to researchers at the National Wildlife Health Center in Madi- son, Wis. and the Univer- sity of Georgia, but it’s not clear the bird deaths were related. In Beebe, New Year’s www.rollinghillscasino.com revelers spent the holiday weekend cleaning up between 4,000 and 5,000 dead red-winged black- birds. Some speculated that bad weather was to blame. Others said one confused bird could have led the group in a fatal plunge. A few spooked schoolkids guessed the birds committed mass sui- cide. ‘‘There was probably some physical reason, but I doubt anyone will ever know what it was,’’ said Thurman Booth, the state’s wildlife services director.