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2B – Daily News – Friday, December 24, 2010 FEATURES Sickly son spawns spiteful spouse Dear Annie: I’ve been married to a wonderful man for 26 years. We are com- patible in every way except when it comes to my 28- year-old son, ‘‘Jeremy.’’ Jeremy has epilepsy, dia- betes and a host of other problems. Recently, the two of them had a terrible fight. Jeremy put all of his belongings in a bag and left. We had no idea that he was simply camping out in our backyard. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar In the middle of the night, we heard a noise and a loud scream. Jeremy had had a severe epileptic seizure, and we called 911. The paramedics noticed he had written on his hand, ‘‘Do not revive.’’ We later found out he had tried to com- mit suicide by swallowing three bot- tles of pills. Jeremy has not been a perfect son. He has lied to my husband and stolen minor things. My husband wants him gone, but he knows I won’t kick him out when he has so many medical problems. Instead, my husband now refuses to have anything to do with him. He hasn’t spoken to Jeremy in two days, and he’s also becoming rather cold to me. I cannot choose between my hus- band and my son. I love them both. And strange as it seems, Jeremy says he loves his stepfather and has apologized for all his past mistakes. Do you have any suggestions? — Hurting Mother Dear Hurting: We understand your concern for your son, but unless Jeremy plans to spend the rest of his life with you, he needs to learn how to manage his various illnesses and become more indepen- dent. You should not be tak- ing over responsibilities that he can handle for himself. The two of you can contact the Epilepsy Foundation (epilepsyfoundation.org) at 1-800-332-1000 and the American Diabetes Associa- tion (diabetes.org) at 1-800- DIABETES (1-800-342- 2383) and ask for assistance. Talk to Jeremy’s doctor about his depres- sion. He should look into his eligi- bility for disability programs. This is the best thing for Jeremy — and coincidentally, for your marriage, as well. Dear Annie: I will never look at my driver’s license the same way again. Two days ago, my nephew received a heart transplant and a renewed chance at life. Now when I look at my driver’s license, the words ‘‘organ donor’’ proudly shine out at me. I hope someday my death will give another person a chance for life, as one fam- ily unselfishly did for my nephew. I want to say to his donor family that even though the recipients of your generous and ultimate donation appreciate their great fortune, we also grieve for your loved one. Your family will always be in our prayers. Thank God for your generosity. — Toledo, Ohio Dear Toledo: Thank you for your poignant reminder of the good that each of us can do by becoming an organ donor. Those who are interested can also contact the National Kidney Foundation (kid- ney.org) at 1-800-622-9010 or the Health Resources and Services Administration (organdonor.gov) at 1-888-ASK-HRSA (1-888-275- 4772). Dear Annie: I didn’t like your answer to ‘‘Gagging in California,’’ who couldn’t stand to be near smok- ers because of the odor. You said to be honest about why she was avoid- ing someone. You’re wrong. Smok- ers would not prefer to know why someone is moving away from them — that would be embarrassing and hurtful. Anyone who is offended by an odor should politely make an excuse to move away, but should never tell the smoker that they smell. That would be rude, unnecessary and not appreciated. — Still Smoking Dear Still: You seem both hyper- sensitive and defensive. We did not tell ‘‘Gagging’’ to inform smokers that they smell. We said it’s better to tell them you have a tough time breathing around smokers than to simply avoid them and not say why. That would be not only dishonest, but hurtful, especially if the smoker is a close friend or relative. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Wilderness rules restored for public lands DENVER (AP) — The Obama administration plans to reverse a Bush-era policy and make millions of undeveloped acres of land once again eligible for fed- eral wilderness protection, Interior Secretary Ken Salazar said Thursday. The agency will replace the so-called ‘‘No More Wilderness’’ policy adopted in 2003 under former Interi- or Secretary Gale Norton, Salazar said. That policy stated that new areas could not be recommended for wilderness protection by the U.S. Bureau of Land Man- agement and opened mil- lions of acres in the Rocky Mountain region to poten- tial commercial develop- ment. That policy ‘‘frankly never should have happened and was wrong in the first place,’’ Salazar said Thurs- day. Environmental activists have been pushing for the Obama administration to restore protections for potential wilderness areas. Salazar said the agency will review some 220 mil- lion acres of BLM land that’s not currently under wilderness protection to see which should be given a new ‘‘Wild Lands’’ desig- nation — a new step for land awaiting a wilderness decision. Congress would decide whether those lands should be designated permanent wilderness areas, Salazar said. BLM Director Bob Abbey said it hasn’t been decided how many acres are expected be designated as ‘‘Wild Lands’’ and whether those acres will be off-limits to motorized recreation or commercial development while under congressional review. Gayle’s 50% to 80% Off Going out of Business Sale Final day December 29, 2010 649 Main Street Downtown Red Bluff Transition Retirement Sale Now thru Dec. 31st 10% - 40% off on all HF Inventory Socks-Yarn-Wheels Looms-Accessories Patagonia clothing 623 Main St. Adobe Rd. Chevron Fresh Cooked CRABS Cooking Fresh Crab 2 DAYS A WEEK • “Freshest CRABS in Red Bluff” • Cleaning of Crab Free! Every Crab sold $1.00 donated to a local charity Price & availability depending on weather. Call to see if they arrived. 527-1859 2370 NORTH MAIN STREET, RED BLUFF • 527-1859 “Your Convenience Store With A Whole Lot More” To insure or not to insure? DEAR DR. GOTT: I have a 6- year-old daughter. In the past, I decided not to have health insur- ance for her or myself. This is because we eat healthy and exer- cise. When we get sick, we eat even healthier and drink lots of tea and get lots of rest instead of going to the doctor. However, she is at the age where I worry about her breaking an arm or injuring her teeth or something. I don’t want to pay $350 a month and up for full coverage when I will use only the accident portion of the coverage. I know they offer accident- only coverage. Do you think this is a good idea and do you know which ones are good? Or am I better off putting $200 a month into a savings account in case she has an accident? DEAR READER: I personally know a number of people who “self- insure,” meaning that they put a specific dollar amount away each week or month in case of an accident. They have been doing it successfully for many years. However, coupled with this practice is the knowledge that they are reasonably well off and can cover a minor cat- astrophe should it strike. If you are in that category, this is worth considering. Some schools have accident-insurance pro- grams available for a min- imal amount of money. The cost is in the vicinity of $50 each school year. They can offer the bargain price because they work on the odds of most chil- dren remaining accident- free, owing to close super- vision; however, should a child fall from a play gym and break an arm or loosen an adult tooth, he or she would have the cov- erage. This, too, is an option. While $200 a month is a lot to put aside, it adds up to only $2,400 a year at a time when she can be playing kickball with other children, chasing someone across a piece of equipment at the local park or dashing into the street for a ball when a car is coming. Accidents do Dr. Peter Gott happen, and they’re expensive. One catastrophe (and they never come at a good time) can wipe out several years worth of savings. But, that said, the money in the bank is far better than no fallback at all. If you can han- dle the lesser issues, there is catastrophic insurance coverage offered with rel- atively low premiums. For example, you might have a policy that picks up 100 percent of her expenses after you are out of pocket $2,500 or $5,000. Maybe a combination of the $200 monthly savings and a cat- astrophic plan is appropri- ate. Keep in mind that we don’t know what will hap- pen tomorrow, next week or beyond that. Even if you read your horoscope, get up on the right side of the bed, eat well, exercise, and think your crystal ball has all the answers, acci- dents and sickness can strike. It’s difficult to be prepared and more diffi- cult not to be. So my answer is to comparison shop for rates. Begin with your computer or local phone directory. Jot down the names of three or four well-known insurance companies. Call them, and explain your situa- tion. Ask for rates. There is no commitment, so don’t feel any pressure from anyone on the other end of the line. Some companies may have bet- ter ideas and new afford- able packages. Ask about deductibles, noncovered illness, pre-existing con- ditions, immunization, dental coverage and any- thing else that comes to mind. Had you begun when your daughter was born, you would have about $14,400 in that savings account. Good luck. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com.