Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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The Return of Nico by PITT DICKEY my diaper. My diaper is a brilliant As Texas Governor Rick Perry turquoise that brings out the once said, "Oops." When in the distinguished gray on my muzzle. course of human and dog events, She told me that she really likes it becomes necessary for the older men. She said that if she human to admit error, a decent weren't color blind, that turquoise respect to the opinions of mankind would be her favorite color. Now requires the human should declare she has a crush on me because of the cause of writing a premature my diaper. Jonathan Swift said obituary for said dog. My last "every dog has his day," and my column was an obituary for our diaper has given me many more wonder dachshund, Nico. That days. Having undergone several obituary was in error. Nico is still life threatening very much alive and experiences has shuffling. As Mark given me a sense Twain might say, of perspective that "Reports of Nico's few dachshunds' death were greatly possess. I exaggerated." The appreciate still obituary was written being on this side under deadline. That of the grass. afternoon we had Some of the planned to take Nico male dogs in the on his last ride to neighborhood the vet as a result of have been ribbing his multiple medical me about my impairments. That diaper. I just ride never took let it roll off my place. When I got back. Male dogs home, I was advised and humans are that Nico's last ride Nico Dickey always saying was off. My wife junk to each Lani has a never other. Miami Dolphin football give up attitude. Nico got a new player Jonathan Martin should leash on life based on two words have just let Ritchie Incognito's "Doggy Diapers." yammering roll off his back like I Lani bought Nico doggy diapers do with the diaper jokes from the and panty liners. Now Nico wears other male dogs. It's a dog eat dog diapers. Some of the other dogs world out there. You got to either make fun of him but he is still run with the big dogs or stay on toddling around. I spent last week the porch. I am out of the crate explaining to very nice people who and back in the world, Baby! I'm have offered their condolences on waddling with the big dogs as well Nico's reported passing that Nico as I can while wearing a diaper. is still with us. I have also learned The guy dogs who are giving me to change doggy diapers. Who even the most guff are secretly jealous knew there were doggy diapers? As because one of my people made a result of any embarrassment that the extra step of finding out about I have caused Nico, I am turning doggy diapers. The guy dogs over the rest of today's column ragging me about my diapers are to him. It is not easy for Nico to probably nervous their owners type as he does not have opposable won't care enough about them to thumbs, but he has some important put them in diapers when the time things to say. comes. If happiness is a warm Nico Speaks: puppy, then love is an old dog in a So I wear a diaper. Big whoop! diaper. Wanna fight about it? I am 17 I leave you readers with one more years old which is the equivalent thought from Groucho Marx about for humans of being 119 years old. dogs. "Outside of a dog, a book is I'd like to see any of you humans man's best friend. Inside of a dog, make it to 119 and not wear a it is too dark to read." Get your old diaper. Aging male humans end up dog a diaper when he needs it. He'll with Low Tee according to the TV love you for it. ads. As an aging male dachshund I ended up with High Pee. I take prescription medications and so do you. What's the difference? PITT DICKEY, Attorney, ContributDaisy, the cute little beagle next ing Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@ door thinks I look very suave in upandcomingweekly.com. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM NOVEMBER 20-26, 2013 UCW 7