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Tuesday, November 30, 2010 – Daily News – 3B FEATURES Sweetheart’s sloppiness sullies spouse Dear Annie: I’ve known my wife for two years. We’ve been living together for five months and married for one. I love her a ton. I pull my share of the load around here, including paying half the bills and buying the groceries. I cook, clean and do all of the yard work and home maintenance. The problem is, my wife is a slob. I’m not a perfectionist, but I like things tidy and organized. My wife has no problem making a snack in the kitchen and leaving the mess for me to clean up. She never makes the bed. She drops things all over the house, and I end up pick- ing up after her constantly. She says I’m ‘‘such a sweet- heart,’’ but I’d gladly give up the moniker for a little more help. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar that others may notice. But you also can encourage her to bathe more often by showering together as part of foreplay, telling her how much you love her clean scent. You can remind her to pick up after herself or, if you can afford it, hire someone to clean your place. You can ‘‘train’’ her, but it will take time and loving patience. If she is unwilling to work on this, get profes- sional counseling before throwing in the (clean) towel. Dear Annie: I am a retired married woman in my 50s and try to go to bed before 11 p.m. every night. For a combination of reasons, I can’t get comfortable falling asleep. Sometimes I will read awhile, but either the nightstand light bothers me or my arthritis does. So I toss and turn. This sloppiness is a side of her I didn’t know. She sometimes goes two or three days without a shower, and it is noticeable. How do I approach her about these things without upsetting her and starting a fight? — Eating on Me Dear Eating: We are continually amazed that peo- ple can be so blind to the bad habits of a loved one when they have been living with them for months. You may need to tell your wife that she has a strong aroma My husband is up until the wee hours. If by some miracle I have fallen asleep, he wakes me up fiddling with his iPod. Then my cat wakes me by scratching the mattress for an early morning feeding. So on a good night, I average five hours of sleep. It not only feels lonely lying in bed by myself, but this regimen has got to be taking a toll on my body. How do I cope? — Not Counting Sheep or Blessings Dear Not Counting: It is not unusual for husbands and wives to have different sleep schedules. Try some relaxation techniques. Don’t read in bed, and turn off the nightstand lights. Take a hot shower or bath. Make the room as dark as possible, or wear a sleep mask and earplugs. Invest in a fan or white-noise machine. Keep the bedroom door closed so the cat cannot get in. Explain to your husband that you need him to be sensi- tive to your sleep problems. Also, get a complete checkup, and talk to your doctor about medication and a referral to a sleep clinic. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Can’t Help Being Concerned,’’ whose boyfriend has rape fantasies. You said this was fairly common and suggested she consider role-playing. However, you left out an absolutely vital piece of advice. Rape fantasies can too easily become actual rape if she becomes frightened during the role-play and wants to quit. Usual protestations like ‘‘Stop!’’ could be mis- taken as part of the role-play. To be protected, they must first agree on a safe word (unrelated to the activi- ty) that will end the role-play immediately. — Safety First Dear Safety: You are absolutely correct, and we were remiss not to mention the necessity of a safe word. (We suspect yelling out ‘‘Annie’s Mailbox!’’ would get the message across.) Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Muscle spasms linked to vitamin D usage DEAR DR. GOTT: I read your article on severe cramping and muscle spasms. I took 1,000 IU of vit- amin D with my cal- cium for 10 months. I was up from 10 to 20 times a night with severe, excruciating cramps. Then I ran out of vitamin D and didn’t take it for a Dr. Peter Gott couple of days. I had no cramps dur- ing this time. I tried a lower dose of D two more times. The cramps start- ed immediately. I stopped the D again and am finally cramp-free. It’s strange but true. People should look into their meds, even if cramps and spasms aren’t listed as a side effect. Also, if I get my vitamin D naturally, why do I need a supple- ment to help absorb calcium? DEAR READER: That’s a great question. Calcium is vital for the for- mation and maintenance of strong bones and for normal bodily func- tions such as the development and Fibromyalgia? Please call Suffering With (530) 529-6544 Rory Lengtat, D.C. 12 24 TEN10 maintenance of strong teeth. It is required for the contraction and expansion of blood vessels, the secre- tion of enzymes and hormones, and the transmission of impulses of the nervous system. Vitamin D is equally important for the absorption of calci- um from the intestines. The combina- tion is most often used to prevent deficiency and to treat it in those who are calcium deficient. An adequate daily calcium intake is 1,000 milligrams for people between the ages of 19 and 50; and 1,200 for those 50 and older. Food sources include milk, cheese, yogurt, tofu, salmon, fortified cereals and instant breakfast drinks. An adequate daily intake for vita- min D is 200 IU for people between the ages of 19 and 50; 400 IU for those between the ages of 51 and 70; and 600 IU for those 71 and older. This fat-soluble vitamin is found in fortified milk products and cereals, egg yolks, butter, salmon, sardines, herring and beef liver. Aside from food sources, sunlight exposure for about 15 minutes a day is reported to ANNOUNCEMENT DONALD B. WEBSTER, Attorney at Law, after practicing law for 60 years in Red Bluff, announces his retirement from practice and closure of his office as of December 31, 2010. Clients of Donald B. Webster, both present and past, may pick up their office files, if desired, by contacting the law office at 530-527-0114 to make arrangements to do so. Return of files must be concluded no later than February 1, 2011 ‘Tis the Season Food Drive! December 7, 2010 Raley’s Supermarket (In the parking lot) 2pm until 8pm our community’s food pantry can continue feeding local (hungry) families and individuals! 12/24 TV will be doing a LIVE BROADCAST from the Raley’s parking lot. Thank You, Red Bluff, for your generous support of this event. We could not do it without you. In the past, local businesses, service clubs, churches, schools, Government agencies and people in our community have made this event a success. WE WILL NEED AT LEAST 7 VOLUNTEERS FROM 2PM TO 4PM AND 20 VOLUNTEERS FROM 4PM TO 8PM to receive & sort the donated food and to clean up. Contributions may be sent to: The Salvation Army PO Box 935, Red Bluff, CA 96080 www.redbluffsalarmy.org Bring canned goods to fill the trailer so provide the necessary amount, but don’t get too much sun. Side effects of too much calcium with D include drowsiness, weak- ness, dry mouth, irregular heartbeat, difficulty breathing, nausea or vomit- ing and constipation, but the list goes on and on. If any of these symptoms are experienced, a user should con- tact his or her physician promptly. You don’t indicate your age, so I am unsure whether you have issues with such disorders as osteoporosis; however, if your diet is adequate, I don’t believe you require a supple- ment, but this can be determined by a blood test. You will continue to receive some benefit from the calci- um you take, even if you discontinue the D. Perhaps the answer is to take a good one-a-day vitamin. Speak with your doctor regarding his or her views on the subject. In the interim, read labels at your local grocery store when selecting foods. That way, you can determine whether you satisfy the recommended requirements through diet alone. If not, the next step might be to select some of the foods recom- mended so you can increase your intake naturally. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Vitamins & Minerals.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Deadline extended by popular demand! YOU and your Family can be represented in the Premier Edition “Tehama Country” Christmas Album Of the Deadline for Public Submissions: Wednesday, December 8 To be published as a magazine supplement to the Daily News on Saturday, December 18 • Share an original story of “Christmas Past” • Write a Christmas Poem • Send a family Christmas Recipe • Submit original Christmas photos or artwork $100 Award first place per category (story, poem, recipe, photo or artwork) $50 runner up per category * Before submitting, read full submission and contest instructions published in Announcements in the Daily News Classifieds Be part of a new “Tehama Country” Christmas Tradition! Send via email: clerk@redbluffdailynews.com Or mail or deliver to the Daily News 454 Diamond Ave., PO Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 Remember –Deadline for our receipt of submissions is Wednesday, December 8 D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY