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Wednesday, September 29, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Suspended speaking to sloshed sister Dear Annie: My sister’s 50th birthday is coming up, and I would like to acknowledge it in some way. However, due to years of her heavy drinking, lying, self-pity, verbal abuse and the resulting toxic personality, she has managed to lose her career, condo, dog, friends, family members and health. I final- ly followed Al-Anon’s advice and suspended our relationship four months ago. It was difficult but necessary for me to do this. ried for 40 years to a won- derful man. I’ve My husband’s brother, Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar But, Annie, I don’t want this monumental birthday to pass with- out recognizing it and wishing my sister a future recovery. Perhaps this could be the turning point for her and she will seek help, ask forgive- ness and try to start over with all the people she has hurt. I want to let her know I will support her if she decides to admit she is an alcoholic and stop drinking. Do you have any suggestions? — Mourning in Mass- achusetts Dear Massachusetts: We appre- ciate your optimism, but turning 50 is no guarantee that your sister will reevaluate her life or come to the conclusions you are hoping for. She could simply become depressed and alleviate it by drinking. But by all means, send her a birthday card. Include a message that you miss her and think of her often, and suggest she contact AA (aa.com) when she is ready. Dear Annie: I have been mar- ‘‘Joe,’’ holds a decent job, never misses a vacation and shops at high-priced stores. He won’t dress his kids in anything but the best. I’m not crazy about Joe, but he lives in another state and it’s never been a problem. Apparently, Joe asked to borrow $4,000, and my husband sent the money without getting any- thing in writing and without telling me. I only found out when I opened a note from our bank addressed to my husband. I was shocked. The trust in our marriage has been bro- ken. My husband now expects me to ‘‘forgive and forget’’ what he did, but how do I do that? He says Joe will pay us back, but it’s been almost a year and he has yet to make any effort to do so. How do I forgive my husband for lending our money to his brother behind my back? — Still Waiting Dear Still: Your husband loves his brother and quite logically assumed you would not want to give him $4,000. That’s why he did it without consulting you. He was wrong, though we hope you can for- give him. But as a condition of your forgiveness, he must promise not to do anything like this again. Dear Annie: This is in response to ‘‘Worried Mom in the Midwest.’’ always trusted everything he did with our finances — until now. As a high school teacher, I often hear students say that as long as they are earning a ‘‘D,’’ they are happy they are passing. My obser- vations about this prevalent behav- ior indicate that there is a definite lack of motivation. One reason is that the child has zero consequences at home. ‘‘Worried Mom’’ said her son confessed that he passed his sci- ence test by cheating. Did she go to the school and ask the teacher to re- administer the test or flunk him? Yes, he could have learning dis- abilities. However, I am inclined to believe his parents are simply enabling him. They need to make it clear that privileges, such as dri- ving, will be taken away unless the grades improve. If necessary, hire a tutor. I hope ‘‘Worried Mom’’ will take action when her son tells her he passed a test by cheating and will not allow him the responsibility of a driver’s license until he acts respon- sibly. — Concerned and Caring California Teacher Dear Teacher: Every child is different, and some don’t respond to anything, but we appreciate your sage advice. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Insurance covers all? Don't bet on it We all know that what you don't know can hurt you. But what most don't consider is that what we don't insure can devas- tate you. Three years ago, I wrote about a MetLife survey that revealed what people don't know about their insurance coverage. Now, MetLife Auto and Home is just releasing an update on that survey. Sadly, the combination of ignorance and recession has made the situation even worse. There's always an excuse for not having enough insurance, whether it's on your health, your life, your car or your home. In these tough times, many say that it's simply a matter of not being able to afford insur- ance. But when it comes to insurance, ignorance is not bliss. What you don't know -- or think you know that isn't so -- could lead to financial disaster. So take this little quiz, and then look below for the answers. A lit- tle bit of knowledge could lead you to better coverage and prevent a financial and emotional disaster. Insurance Coverage Quiz, True or False: 1. If my new car is totaled a few weeks after I purchase it, my insurance will cover full replacement cost. 2. If my car is in an acci- dent, my insurance will cover all the repairs. 3. If my new car is totaled, my insurance will pay off the balance of my loan. 4. If my iPhone or MP3 player is stolen from my car, 645 Main St., Red Bluff • 529-2482 We’re now booking gourmet catering for your Holiday Parties Call us to get a quote, or book your party www.californiakitchencompany.com my auto insurance will pay for a replacement. 5. My auto insur- ance or credit card covers all the costs if I have an accident in a rental car. 6. My homeowners insurance covers all the costs of rebuilding after a fire. 7. My homeowners insurance will cover my children at college if they live on campus. 8. My homeowners insurance covers wind- storm, hail, floods and earthquakes. (Hint, this is a trick question.) 9. Insurance policies are pretty standard from one company to another, so the only thing to compare is cost. 10. I last talked with my insurance agent within the past 18 months to update my policy. OK, now let's take a closer look at the answers from MetLife. Just the uncertainty might make you remember to call your insurance agent to check your own coverage. 1. Under most policies, if your new car is totaled, your auto insurance will pay only a depreciated amount -- unless you have "replace- ment cost" to cover a limit- ed period and limited mileage in which you will be fully reimbursed to get a new car. 2. Similarly, don't count on full payment on all car parts in an accident unless you have pur- chased an enhanced policy that specifically provides for cov- erage for parts such as tires, bat- teries, brakes, shocks and steer- ing components. Otherwise, they may be paid on a depreciated value if they are older and worn. be covered unless you have a spe- cific rider called Ordinance or Law Coverage. 7. The parents' Terry 3. If you have a loan on a car that is totaled, your loan amount may exceed the value of the car because of depreciation. Optional cover- age known as loan/lease gap coverage is available for this situation. 4. The stuff you leave in your car is not covered by your auto insurance, but it is covered under your home- owners or renters insurance, subject to your deductible. 5. Your rental car dam- ages may not be covered by all insurance policies. Expenses such as loss of use, diminished value of the vehi- cle, and fees and charges are typically not considered cov- ered expenses 6. Your homeowners insurance should specify "replacement cost" for both the structure and the con- tents. But if there have been building code mandates that require upgrade, such as a home sprinkler system or hurricane glass, those won't Savage The Savage Truth on Money policy offers cov- erage, but the standard is typi- cally limited to 10 percent of your total cover- age, and may only apply if your child is liv- ing on campus. 8. Here's the trick in this ques- tion. Most stan- dard homeown- ers policies do cover hail and wind damage. But they do not cover flood dam- age -- including backed-up drains from storms -- unless you have a separate flood policy available only through the National Flood Insurance Plan. Earthquake damages are excluded from almost all policies, although a rider may be available. 9. There are some basic standards for homeowners insurance policies, but they are by no means similar in every regard. 10. So pick up the phone and call your insurance agent today. OTC product may soften skin on feet and fingers DEAR DR. GOTT: Tell your readers that A&D Ointment is absolutely won- derful to use on dry areas, such as fingertips, cracked heels, hands, elbows and more. I get cracks in my heels. I have learned to wear only 100 percent cotton socks and not to wear san- dals too frequently. Open sandals quickly contribute to dryness and dirt. I soak the affected area in warm, soapy water (using mild soap) before bedtime, apply the oint- ment, and then put on the socks. It is amazing how much healing occurs dur- ing one night. It can be repeated as often as need- ed and is also inexpensive and safe. I have tried this with Vaseline and have found that it doesn’t have the same healing power. DEAR READER: A&D Ointment is primar- ily marketed as a diaper- rash treatment but also claims to work well on dry, chafed skin and other minor irritations, which are not limited to infants and toddlers. The active ingredients accounting for 68.9 per- cent of the product are petrolatum and lanolin. Inactive ingredients mak- ing up the remaining 31.1 percent include cod-liver oil (the source of the vita- mins A and D), fragrance, light mineral oil, micro- crystalline wax and paraf- fin. Petrolatum and lanolin are common ingredients in moisturizers. They pro- tect, soften, and rehydrate skin. Paraffin, wax and mineral oil help create a barrier to prevent loss of moisture. I’m not sure what topical cod-liver oil is good for other than moisturizing, but as I have reported in my column, many find that taking it internally helps maintain good health, improves vit- amin A and D deficien- cies, eases arthritis symp- toms and more. I have printed your let- ter because the product is indeed safe and inexpen- sive, since many retailers carry store-brand ver- sions. This may be a good first choice for treating and preventing finger cracks as well as other minor skin irritations and problems. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Dermatitis, Dr. Peter Gott Eczema & Psoria- sis.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and sent to Newslet- ter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com . DEAR DR. GOTT: Your column has helped me with my leg cramps. I am writing because I have a concern. For many years, I have had intermit- tent burning sensations on my inner thighs and but- tocks, sometimes with the feeling of pins and nee- dles. I have seen a derma- tologist, but because she could not see anything on my skin, she said she couldn’t help. I am at my wits’ end. DEAR READER: Burning, stinging, pain, pins and needles, and other abnormal sensations of the buttocks and thighs are often the result of a spinal problem, most commonly sciatica. This condition is caused by impingement of the sciatic nerve in the lower back, usually caused by a slipped, ripped, torn or otherwise displaced disc. Other symptoms include low back pain, abnormal sensations in the low back, calves or feet, and urinary or fecal inconti- nence. I suggest you speak with your physician about this possibility and get an X-ray or MRI of the tho- racic (middle) and lumbar (lower) areas of your spine. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Managing Chron- ic Pain.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and sent to P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check starting at $ (most cars and pick-ups) 2995 + cert. Pass or FREE retest 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St.