Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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THIS WEEK WITH MARGARET THIS WEEK WITH MARGARET The View Behind by MARGARET DICKSON Editor’s Note: Margaret is a little busy right now, so this is a best of from December 2006. Hindsight is 20/20 as we all know. There are, however, different perspectives on hindsight depending on how far back one is looking. Maria Shriver, aka Mrs. Arnold Schwarzenegger, mother of four, and a talented and respected broadcast journalist, published a book in 2000 entitled 10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Went Out into the Real World. A young woman whose judgment I value thinks such tidbits from life’s learnings are “cheesy,” but I fi nd them both interesting and occasionally wise. Shriver’s book springs from the perspective of a woman in mid-life with a great many personal, professional, and, in her case, political responsibilities. Her plate is clearly full, and she feels a need to share what life has taught her thus far with others. It is aimed at young women starting out in jobs and adult relationships, but it speaks truths to anyone embarking on a new phase of life. Her chapter titles give an excellent sense of the thoughts contained in them. 1. First and Foremost: Pinpoint Your Passion 2. No Job is Beneath You 3. Who You Work For and With Is As Important As What You Do 4. Your Behavior Has Consequences 5. Be Willing to Fail 6. Superwoman is Dead…and Superman May Be Taking Viagra 7. Children Do Change Your Career (Not to Mention Your Entire Life) 8. Marriage is a Hell of a Lot of Hard Work 9. Don’t Expect Anyone Else to Support You Financially 10. Laughter These chapter titles may be news to 20-somethings, but anyone Shriver’s age, or my age for that matter, knows that they express the absolute reality of life in our nation right now. We have learned, sometimes in painful ways, that entry level jobs may be awful, maybe even degrading, but that they can and do open doors to jobs and careers we love. We have learned that our actions do have consequences that we cannot ignore, fi x or wish away. We have learned that marriage and family life are much more diffi cult than on television, and that in such a context, it really is not all about us. And, we have learned, sometimes bitterly, that no matter what anyone else may tell us, we really are responsible for ourselves fi nancially and emotionally. I thought about Shriver’s book recently as I read Nora Ephron ‘s current bestseller, I Feel Bad About My Neck, an often hilarious, sometimes poignant look at her life from the perspective of a 60-something. Ephron is a also a wife, mother and successful writer, with such great reads to her credit as Heartburn, which also includes terrifi c recipes I have whipped up in my own kitchen. She also wrote the screenplay for a movie which can still make me weep with laughter, When Harry Met Sally. Ephron’s take on life and what she has learned from it are different than Shriver’s. Ephron is not worried about climbing the career ladder or how children are affecting her life. She is not much worried about success, because she has achieved it in spades and has enjoyed accolades from many quarters. She has survived her own behavior and that of others and is philosophical, not hysterical, about what people do. She is worried about the physical, mental and emotional aspects of getting older and of losing people she loves. Toward the end of her book, Ephron includes a chapter called “What I Wish I’d Known.” A generation older than Shriver, here are some of the truths Ephron has learned. • People have only one way to be. • Buy, don’t rent. • Don’t cover a couch with anything that isn’t more or less beige. • You never know. • The plane is not going to crash. • Anything that is wrong with your body at the age of 35 you will be nostalgic for at the age of 45. • Keep a journal. • Take more pictures. • The empty nest is underrated. • Overinsure everything. • Whenever someone says the words, “Our friendship is more important than this,” watch out, because it almost never is. • Overtip. • Never let them know. • If friends ask you to be their child’s guardian in case they die in a plane crash, you can say no. • There are no secrets. As an American woman between Shriver’s and Ephron’s ages, I have lived through Shriver’s chapters and fi nd her advice right on the mark. I hope to live long enough to understand all of Ephron’s. I also subscribe to advice my grandmother gave me and think both Shriver and Ephron would as well. Always check yourself — front and back — in the mirror on the way out the door. I would add to check your life experiences from time to time, because your perspective will likely be different, kinder, and more universal than the last time you did. MARGARET DICKSON, Contributing Writer COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com. writ-er [rahy-ter] – noun 1. a person engaged in writing books, articles, stories, etc., esp. as an occupation or profession; an author or journalist. If you see yourself in that light, Up & Coming Weekly would love you to join our creative, talented, community-oriented line-up of contributing writers. If you are interested in joining our writing team, e-mail sample articles or questions to: editor@upandcomingweekly.com WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM SEPTEMBER 29 - OCTOBER 5, 2010 UCW 5