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4B – Daily News – Tuesday, September 14, 2010 FEATURES Lady laments lasting loser liason Dear Annie: I am 52 and have been married for 32 years, most of which have been platonic. We’ve stayed together for the sake of the children, who now live on their own. My husband and I get along fairly well, but I have no feelings for him, and there is no chance of that changing. For the past eight years, I Annie’s Mailbox have been involved with ‘‘Darren,’’ a man I am crazy about. He knew from the beginning that I wouldn’t leave my husband until all my children were out of the house. Now he is putting pres- sure on me to begin divorce proceed- ings. But I am uncertain about a future with Darren. He is controlling and has a quick temper and a total disregard for others. I am afraid he will cause fric- tion with my children, and I am not willing to jeopardize my relationship with them. Darren also runs hot and cold. We get along great when it is just the two of us, but when other people are involved or when life takes a turn, he becomes difficult because he is unable to adjust to even minor adversity. He also is jealous and suspicious of every- thing I do and say, although I’ve given him no reason. He pops into my office whenever he wants, sometimes caus- ing trouble with co-workers. Darren has participated in counsel- ing at my urging, but he only attended a few sessions. I also had counseling, by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar but it didn’t help. I don’t believe this relationship has a solid future, and I probably should get out. I am devastated to think of losing Darren for good, but it is also scary to think about giving up my home and security for some- thing so uncertain. How do I muster the courage to break off with someone I love? — In Turmoil in Lancaster, Pa. Dear Lancaster: The excitement and escapism of your affair allowed you to overlook the controlling, unpleasant aspects of Darren’s character. Now that you can be available as a commit- ted partner, you are seeing him more clearly. He will not make you happy. You have managed to tie up both your husband and boyfriend in unfulfilling relationships. Have the decency to stop dangling Darren on a hook, and let him go. He won’t like it, but there is no alternative that will work out better. Dear Annie: I just returned from a weeklong family vacation, and once again, I am disturbed by the sleeping arrangements of my relatives. My large family rents several condos, so we have plenty of beds, couches and ample floor space. Here’s the creepy part: There are mothers sleeping with teenage sons, teenage boys sleeping with their sis- ters, dads sleeping with teenage daughters — you get the picture. It’s not happening behind closed doors, so nothing disturbing is going on. But why would a single dad have his ado- lescent daughter sleep with him rather than put her on the floor in a sleeping bag? I have teens of my own and would- n’t dream of bunking down with one of my boys or having him share a bed with his teenage sister. Is this normal? — Icky Dear Icky: No. It almost sounds as if your relatives are trying to prove how affectionate and close they are, but these kinds of situations can lead to inadvertent trouble. Hormonally developing teenagers should not be sharing sleeping space with relatives of the opposite sex, and we hope your family members will show more respect for their privacy. Dear Annie: This is in response to ‘‘Losing Money,’’ who asked if parents should pay for missed music lessons. If you skipped a doctor’s appoint- ment, you would be charged. She has to treat this as any professional busi- ness. I began charging for lessons by the month, payable the first week of the month. Students would receive a credit only if they contacted me 24 hours prior to a missed lesson. Once I established this policy, parents were more diligent about showing up. — B. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. How to keep adult students insured Q: My daughter is a college senior who will be graduating in May and doesn't have a job. My company says at that point she is off our family health insurance. She doesn't have a job, so what should we do? A: Health care coverage for college graduates is one of the features of the health care reform bill, which will mandate that insurance companies keep covering adult children until they reach age 26. Unfortunately, this pro- vision doesn't go into effect until Sep- tember 2010. That leaves quite a gap! Fortunately, some major insurers have recognized this problem and decided to start the extended cover- age immediately, so this spring's graduates won't have to face that problem. Contact your insurance plan to see if they have decided to offer this coverage immediately. If your plan does not offer coverage until this fall, you are wise to consider the possibilities. Most col- lege students feel that they are in good health and can do without insurance. The fact is that, statistically, they do have a lower probability of a health emergency. But other statistics show they are more likely to be in an auto accident, or to participate in risky sports or other activities! Since you would be responsible for the costs of any medical emergency or hospitalization, you should start look- ing for alternatives right now. The best place to search is online at eHealthIn- surance.com. They compare policies based on coverages, costs and deductibles, and allow you to choose the most appropriate plan. Since health insurance policies vary by state, you'll start by filling in your state of residence and your daughter's age. Then look for "Short Term Plans" in the box marked "type of insurance." These are plans specifi- cally designed for those who are between jobs or have just graduated. I checked on costs for a 21-year-old woman in Chicago. I searched for a plan that would last six months. (The maximum duration cover- age for a short-term policy is 360 days.) The price depends on the features, of course. And you can get a discount if you pay for the entire policy upfront. Choosing a higher deductible can lower the cost dramatical- ly, as can increas- ing the co-pay- ment. For exam- ple, one policy with a $5,000 deductible and 50 per- cent co-pay costs only $32.31 a month. But that's hardly any coverage at all, and will leave Mom and Dad quite exposed in case of a serious health prob- lem. The same company answer any questions, as well as to help you apply. Terry Savage The Savage Truth on Money offers a more attractive plan with a $2,500 deductible, and a 20 percent co-payment for $50.49 per month. And if you want a lower deductible of only $500, with a 20 per- cent co-payment, the monthly pay- ment doubles to about $102 per month. Comparing policy features is easy, as the online program allows you to choose several and compare coverage and costs. And there's toll-free help to When you consider the potential costs of an uninsured accident or ill- ness, these policies really don't seem very expensive. The big drawback is that they are only for the short term, and you might worry about whether she will qualify for renewing coverage if she doesn't find a job with health care benefits. The new health care reform has you covered on that issue, as well. If your daughter is in good health, she should have no problem getting a new short-term plan. And if for some unfore- seeable reason she might not qualify for a new plan because of a health condition, she'll be eligible then for the new state-run plans that do not disqualify applicants because of pre-existing con- ditions. So thanks for bringing this up. The new health care exchanges won't go into action for nearly four years. But eHealthInsurance.com is the model for what is to come -- and it's here right now. No matter whether you're a recent grad or employed by a compa- ny that doesn't offer health care, it's worth checking to find something affordable so that uncovered medical costs don't destroy your finances. Terry Savage is a registered investment adviser and is on the board of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. She can be reached at www.terrysavage.com. Developer of ‘gallbladder cleanse’ lied If readers would like to con- tact Dr. Gott, send mail directly to Dr. Gott c/o Unit- ed Media, 200 Madison Ave., 4th fl., New York, NY 10016. However, if readers want to request a newslet- ter, they should write to the Ohio address. Dr. Peter Gott DEAR DR. GOTT: I have a family history of gallbladder trouble, and I react badly to fatty foods. Have you heard of Dr. Hulda Clark’s recipe for a gall bladder cleanse? It is very popular, but is it safe? Sign me cautious. DEAR CAUTIOUS READER: During Dr. Hulda Clark’s lifetime, she claimed to cure can- cer, AIDS and a number of other diseases. She claimed to have held a bachelor and master’s degree from the Universi- ty of Saskatchewan and a Ph.D. in physiology from the University of Min- nesota. The Register of Ph.D. degrees from U of M, however, indicates that Dr. Clark actually held a doctorate in zoology and minored in botany. She also listed a degree in naturopathy from the Clayton College of Natur- al Health. This college is a non-accredited corre- spondence school in Birmingham, Ala. The course has been described in a magazine article as a 100-hour course with a tuition of $695. Dr. Clark claimed that many diseases and all cancers are caused by pol- lutants, parasites and tox- ins, and the body can be cured simply by ridding itself of these substances. Accordingly, she invented a “parasite Zapper” that passes an electric current through the blood, thus becoming effective against the AIDS virus, herpes, obesity, parasites and numerous other seri- ous conditions. In 2004, the respected publication New England Journal of Medicine reported that a 52-year-old man with a cardiac pacemaker expe- rienced dizziness and near fainting after using the equipment. It was deter- mined the Zapper caused his pacemaker to mal- function and disrupted his heart’s rhythm. In fairness to Dr. Clark, a warning was posted on the packag- ing, but the patient appar- ently didn’t read it. In 1999, Dr. Clark was arrested in San Diego based on a fugi- tive warrant from Indiana, where she faced charges of practicing medicine without a license. She was apprehended in California and returned to Indi- ana to stand trial. In April 2000, a judge hearing the case dismissed the charges on the grounds that too much time had elapsed between the filing of the charges and her arrest. The judge did not address the merits of the charges but only the issue of whether the delay had compromised her ability to mount a defense and her right to a speedy trial. The irony of it all is that in September 2009, Dr. Clark died of compli- cations of multiple myeloma, a form of lym- phoma. I could continue with volumes of informa- tion, but enough is enough. My recommen- dation to you is an emphatic NO. Avoid large meals, fatty foods, alcohol and other triggers that cause indigestion. While low- cholesterol meals will not prevent gallbladder stones, they can keep pain and symptoms from occurring. Avoid crash diets. Lose weight and keep it off. If appropriate, review your medications with your physician, since estrogen, some choles- terol-lowering medica- tions and oral contracep- tives are known to increase the risk of devel- oping stones. If appropri- ate, request a referral to a gastroenterologist. To give you related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Medical Special- ists.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed, stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, PO Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print out an order form from my website www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cook- book,” which are avail- able at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.co m. 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