Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/155280
Tuesday, August 20, 2013 – Daily News 3B FEATURES Neglectful family hurting Mom Weigh risks of depression meds don't know why Dear Annie: your aunts and Three years ago, uncles haven't my mother was been more supdiagnosed with portive. In some lung cancer and families, one perthen a brain son often tumor. She has becomes a ''carehad numerous giver'' by virtue surgeries and treatments. Annie's of his or her personality. It sounds Mom is the as if your mother youngest of five siblings. The by Kathy Mitchell is that person. It whole time she and Marcy Sugar means her siblings do not know has been fighting this disease, her siblings how to respond approprihave been unsupportive. ately in caregiving situaIn three years, one uncle tions because they never has visited twice and have had to do so. Before called twice. Another you decide to cut them lives less than two miles off, please let your mothaway, but has stopped by er decide. She may prefer for a total of one hour. to forgive them and conHis wife and kids have tinue the relationships, neither visited nor although with a more limited set of expectaphoned. My aunt speaks to my tions. Dear Annie: My niece mother about twice a year. She never visits. was married at city hall She also yells at Mom nearly two years ago. My and is rude to her. She has wife and I attended the managed to convince my ceremony, and afterward, 84-year-old grandmother we went to lunch. Two that these arguments are weeks later, they had a my parents' fault. Several small catered reception at years ago, this same aunt his grandmother's house. had cancer, and my moth- My wife and I attended er was there for her all and gave them a card the time — like family with a check. Now they want to have should be. I find it hurtful and their wedding blessed in disheartening that her a church. I think that's siblings are so uncaring. great, except they are They never offer to help, having another reception, let alone offer words of this time at a banquet hall comfort. Is this normal with all the bells and Since we behavior? The only thing whistles. my mother has asked for already gave a card and a is moral support from her check at the first recepfamily, and she has tion, are we obligated to received none. My father, give another? If so, how my brother and I feel much? I don't want to only animosity toward hurt anyone's feelings. — these family members, Confused About the Etiknowing how much they quette Dear Confused: You have hurt our mother. I think we should forget aren't giving a gift in about them and cut off honor of a reception. You contact. What do you are giving a wedding gift say? — Loving Daughter to the couple. Since you Dear Daughter: We already have done so, you Mailbox are under no obligation to present them with another. However, if you feel obligated to bring something to the latest reception, it could be a small gift with sentiment attached, such as a framed photograph of the couple. Dear Annie: I feel compelled to write to ''Can't Believe Adults Act This Way,'' whose daughter is being bullied by other teachers at her school. You suggested the main bully craves power and control, thinks the daughter is a threat and could be insecure. This is happening to me right now. I am a veteran teacher of 29 years. The principal is indeed as you described. She has wanted me gone for the past four years and has made outrageous accusations that I have had to defend with the union. I realized, also, that this was draining my energy to teach. My advice for this first-year teacher is to look for a new job where she feels comfortable and can teach and do what she is trained for and not waste her energy on bullies. She sounds like a promising teacher who needs to be planted in fertile soil where she can flourish. — Looking for Something Better sion) or mindfulness meditaDEAR DOCTOR K: I take tion to help manage your an SSRI for depression. I'm depression. trying to get pregnant, but I'm The risk to your baby from worried about going off my taking SSRIs during pregnancy antidepressant during pregnanis very small, but still real. cy. Can I continue to take an SSRI drugs that are in your SSRI? blood travel through the plaDEAR READER: You can, centa and enter the bloodbut at some small risk to the Dr. K stream of your developing baby. by Anthony L. baby. SSRIs during pregnancy But if you stop taking the SSRI while you are pregnant, Komaroff, M.D. are linked to increased risk of heart birth defects, respiratory you may increase your own risk of worsening depression during problems and withdrawal symptoms in and after the pregnancy. So I don't babies. Risk of miscarriage and premature birth may also increase. The have an easy answer. Treating depression is important FDA has labeled paroxetine (Paxil) for both your sake and your baby's. unsafe for use during pregnancy. Guidelines from the American PsyUntreated depression during pregnancy increases your risk of postpartum chiatric Association and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecoldepression. It also makes it more likely that ogists recommend medication for your baby will be lethargic, irritable expectant mothers with severe depression. But for pregnant women with and underweight at birth. But what kind of treatment? Med- mild to moderate depression, they recication is one option. Selective sero- ommend psychotherapy. That's probably the most important tonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are the most common drugs prescribed for point. If in the years before pregnancy depression. SSRIs include fluoxetine your depression has been severe, you (Prozac), sertraline (Zoloft), citalo- will probably need medication along pram (Celexa) and escitalopram with talk therapy during the pregnancy. (Lexapro). By "severe," I mean you have had Another option is "talk therapy." This can be traditional one-on-one many episodes of depression, or sessions with a therapist. It also can episodes that are quite severe and mean family therapy, involving you, make it very hard for you to function, your spouse and possibly other family or both. Particularly if you have had severe members. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a particular talk-therapy depression in the past, and your past technique that can help you learn reaction to medications has been posways to think positively and solve itive, the risk to you and your baby from not taking medication is probaproblems. Even if your doctor says you need bly greater than the risk of taking to continue taking medication along medication. with talk therapy, you may be able to Dr. Komaroff is a physician and lower your dose or reduce the length professor at Harvard Medical School. To of time you need the medication. You can also explore other non- send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, Annie's Mailbox is drug options. For example, consider or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., written by Kathy Mitchell exercise (under your doctor's supervi- Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Sporting clays fundraiser event The NorCal Junior Clay Busters will conduct a fundraising sporting clays tournament on Aug. 25 at Clear Creek Sports Club at Rolling Hills Casino in Corning. The event gets under way with registration at 8 a.m. and shooting will start at 9. The $75 entry fee includes lunch, to be held at Carlino's inside the casino. Non-shooters can purchase lunch for $15. Shooters of all ages are welcome and prizes will be awarded to competitors in several age categories. To sign up or obtain more information, call Tom Brown at 526-5776. COURT ROUND-UP Recent Proposition 36 Commitments: Note: All cases wherein a defendant is sentenced per the terms of Proposition 36 are not at the request of the Tehama County District Attorney's Office. Per the requirements of Proposition 36, a defendant who possesses drugs cannot be sentenced to confinement time in jail or prison. Instead, the court must place defendant on probation and require drug treatment alone. Per the requirements of Proposition 36, only upon a third drug related probation violation may the court impose confinement time. In the event the defendant violates a non-drug related term of probation the court may then elect to sentence defendant to jail or prison. The Tehama County District Attorney's Office contends that each criminal case is unique and that in certain, specific, cases a defendant should be sentenced to a combination of drug treatment and jail time. We further contend that in other specific cases where a defendant has an extensive criminal record and/or a history of non-compliance with either previous grants of probation or previous grants of drug treatment, a state prison sentence should properly be imposed. People vs. James Brian Carpenter, Transportation of a Controlled Substance; Possession of a Controlled Substance; Carrying a Concealed Dirk or Dagger. A deputy stopped the defendant for a bicycle violation and found him in possession of methamphetamine and marijuana. An officer observed defendant outside an apartment in the early morning hours and noticed him throw and object into the bushes. The officers conducted a search of the area and located methamphetamine and methamphetamine smoking pipes in the bushes near the defendant. Defendant was originally granted formal probation. Defendant violated his probation when he failed to keep in contact with probation. Defendant sentenced to Prop. 36 probation. Upcoming Court Dates -Trials, Preliminary Hearings(PX) & Pre Trial Conferences(PTC): People vs. Dustin Lee Hedrick, Lewd Act Upon a Child, Child Molesting. Defendant was a 19 year old Boy Scout troop leader and both minor victims were Boy Scouts. Defendant went to a party at one of the victim's homes during which he committed lewd and lascivious acts upon the two victims. Sentencing: Oct. 16, at 10 a.m. in Department 2. People vs. Brandon Ericson Branscombe, Murder. The 8 month old victim died as a result of injuries sustained while in the custody and care of defendant. Arraignment on Information: Aug. 26, at 8 a.m. in Department 3. People vs. Christopher Hougland, Murder with Special Allegation Use of Deadly Weapon, Assault With a Deadly Weapon with Special Allegation Great Bodily Injury. Officers responded to a residence regarding a disturbance. Upon arrival officers located the victim who appeared to have several stab wounds and was bleeding profusely. The victim eventually succumbed to his injuries and was pronounced dead at the scene. The defendant was arrested and taken into custody. Preliminary Hearing PTC: Aug. 26, at 10 a.m. in Department 1. Preliminary Hearing: Aug. 27, at 1:30 p.m. in Department 2. People vs. Daniel Llamas & Isabelle Deanna Rios, Child Abuse with Special Allegation Willful Harm or Injury Resulting in Death. The 13-month-old victim died as a result of injuries sustained while in the custody and care of Llamas and Rios. PTC: Sept. 16, 1:15 p.m. in Department 3. People vs. Quentin Ray Bealer, Murder. Defendant was arrested and charged with the murder of a 14-year-old victim who had been reported missing when she never returned home from school. Officers located the victim's body two days later. Preliminary Hearing: Oct. 2, at 9 a.m. in Department 3.