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Monday, August 23, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Reader wants more normal sex life with hubby Dear Annie: My husband and I are a happily married couple of less than 10 years, both in our late 40s and in good health. We have a wonderful marriage in every way, except I would like him to want to have sex with me. Don’t misunderstand. We have a regu- lar and fairly satisfying sexual relation- ship, but it doesn’t include normal inter- course, only ‘‘alternative’’ forms of sex. It makes me feel undesirable. I’m not sure what I am doing wrong. We never argue, I don’t nag, I’m attractive and keep fit, and I love doing things with him and for him. Yet he doesn’t want to be intimate the way I’d like. It makes me believe he isn’t attract- ed to me, and I am missing a big part of being his wife. What do you think? — Love Him, but Want and Need More Dear Love Him: This may be a satisfying sex life for your husband, but obviously not for you. There could be a physical reason why your husband enjoys sex more in alter- native forms, and of course, there is also the possibility that he is gay. Have you discussed this with him? Has he provid- ed a reason that makes sense to you, or does he seem to be making excuses? Is he willing to please you by occasionally having intercourse the way you prefer? We think he needs to by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Annie’s Mailbox see his doctor, you both need to see a sex therapist (Ameri- can Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapist at aasect.org), or it’s time for marriage counseling. Dear Annie: My father passed away last year at the age of 90. My brother was named executor, and when all the paperwork was mailed, everyone was satisfied. However, the day after the paperwork was filed, my brother called and asked for what I thought was a large sum of money for handling the estate. From the beginning, my brother insisted he didn’t want to be paid for doing this, so to express my gratitude, I was extremely generous with gifts for his three children. Now he says he and his wife need the money to refinance their condo in Florida. I sent a check, as I didn’t want to start a fight with the only brother I have. While I don’t regret giving his children the money, a friend told me she thought he misunderstood and assumed I was giving the inheritance money away. Am I wrong to be upset about this? I have no idea how much time and effort was spent on his part, but I certainly don’t feel responsible for his condo. — California Dear California: This is something that should have been firmly settled when your brother took on the responsi- bility of handling the estate — a thankless job that deserves some type of reward. Of course, he should have kept his end of the deal or at least discussed it with you. You’ve sent him the check, and there’s nothing you can do about the gifts you already sent his children, but feel free to scale back in the future. And try not to hold a grudge. Dear Annie: This is a response to ‘‘Green Eyes,’’ the ath- lete who is jealous of her friend’s achievements. I was incredibly inept at sports in high school. I jumped at the opportunity to join the track team in lieu of attending physical education classes. It was the best decision I ever made. The coach stressed that I was not to compete against the other students, only against myself. I was to improve my own running speed and throwing distance. During inter- scholar competitions, I was his helper with the first aid kit and keeping track of the other athletes’ times, schedules, etc. Please tell her she can achieve in other ways, without comparing herself to anyone. My self-esteem improved greatly thanks to an understanding coach. — Ralph in Kansas City Dear Ralph: Our thanks to you and all the others who wrote with wonderful suggestions. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Must quarter century of exercise be halted? DEAR DR. GOTT: I would like to know more about tricuspid regurgitation. I’ve been exercising for more than 25 years and just learned I have this condition. It has been called mild. I see my specialist later this month but don’t know how to exercise with the diagnosis. DEAR READER: Dr. Peter Gott Tricuspid regurgitation, also known as insufficiency, occurs when this particular valve in the heart fails to close properly. This causes blood to flow backward into the right atrium (upper-heart chamber) when the right ventricle (lower-heart chamber) contracts. There are several reasons this may occur, including but not limited to injury to the right ventricle, radiation therapy, carcinoid tumors, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatic fever, Marfan syndrome and, in the presence of Ebstein’s anomaly, a con- genital heart disorder. Without pulmonary hypertension, there may be no symptoms at all. When pul- monary hypertension and moderate to severe tricuspid regurgitation occur together, patients may experience fatigue, pulsing of the neck veins, decreased uri- nary output, weakness, symptoms of right-sided heart failure and edema of the feet, ankles and stomach. A physician can make a diagnosis if he or she feels a pulse over the liver or swelling of the liver and spleen, when a murmur or abnormal sounds are heard through a stethoscope. A physician may choose to order a chest X-ray, EKG or echocardiogram to correctly diagnose the disorder. Laboratory testing may reflect abnormal liver function and hyperbiliru- binemia. Some medications may cause symptoms and include those for Parkin- son’s disease, migraine headaches and obesity. Mild cases may not require any treat- ment at all. More advanced cases may require brief hospitalization to verify the diagnosis and bring symptoms under con- trol. Any underlying conditions would be addressed during the hospitalization. Should surgery be required, it may include Lassen Volcanic National Park will begin an eight-day heli- copter operation to haul rock for the Reach the Peak Trail Rehabilita- tion Project. A Type I helicopter will be used to transport 2.4 million pounds of material staged in the Lassen Peak Parking Area to the Lassen Peak moun- tainside holding areas. The rock will be used to build steps and retain- ing walls. Park and Cal- ifornia Conservation Corps trail crews have steadily worked select- ing the rock from Hat Creek Quarry over the past month. The Lassen Peak Parking Area and Trail is open to the summit on August 21 until 8 p.m. All vehicles must be moved from the Lassen Peak Parking Area at closure so equipment can be staged in preparation for flight operations. The Lassen Peak Trail and parking area will be closed from August 21 at 8 p.m. through August 31. During these helicopter operations there will be no stopping or parking along the 2.5 mile stretch of the main park road between Lake Helen Picnic Area and Terrace Lake Trailhead and the possibility of repair or replacement of the valve. Patients should reduce their salt intake and may find relief by elevating the head of their beds to combat feelings of short- ness of breath. If you haven’t already, I recommend you engage the services of a cardiologist and rely on his or her judg- ment when it comes to how much exercise you should undertake. I am unaware of any other medical conditions you might have and cannot make that decision. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Coronary Artery Disease.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. DEAR DR. GOTT: I’m 81 years young, actively involved with work, home and yard. As I have aged, I have “met Arthur” in various parts of my body. Of tremendous help to me with knee, shoul- der and back problems is massaging cen- trifuge-extracted virgin coconut oil into closure for short peri- ods of time. The Lake Helen Picnic Area and Terrace Lake Trail will remain open for visita- tion. Road restrictions will be removed September the areas of pain. The underlying cause will not be cured but the pains (that I assume are caused by inflammation from arthritis) can be lessened. The use of coconut oil has helped my sister, two brothers-in-law, nephew and various others. One brother-in-law even uses it to cook with as well. DEAR READER: This material is extracted from wet-milled coconut milk that retains its flavor and aroma. The cost appears a little off-putting for me at about $65 per gallon and is high in saturated fats, but if it works to keep your arthritis at bay, I am sure it is well worth it. And I’ll bet you smell mighty good, too! Another alternative is rubbing castor oil onto the affected joints. This is just as safe, but has the added benefit of being less expensive. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Lassen Peak Trail rehabilitation prepares for helicopter operations 1 to 2. The trail status will be updated and posted for September 3 through Labor Day fol- lowing an assessment. Trail accessibility infor- mation can be found on the park website at http://www.nps.gov/l avo/parkmgmt/current- lassen-peak-trail-sta- tus.htm . For more informa- tion, visit www.nps.gov/lavo or call 595-4480. Support our classrooms, keep kids reading. 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