Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/148178
Saturday, August 3, 2013 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Woman resents hubby's friends, partying while I sit home getting Dear Annie: I have been worked up about it. — Hurt married for 25 years to a and Alone husband who provides well Dear Hurt: We think for his family. We are now there is a disconnect between empty nesters. However, my your expectations and your husband feels he has to be a reality. Presumably, your social butterfly with everyhusband has been a social one on the golf course or in drinker with the same types a bar. When he drinks, he does- Annie's of friends for 25 years of marriage. Without children n't know when enough is around to occupy your time enough, and it leads to major fighting and stress in by Kathy Mitchell and thoughts, you seem to be our marriage. He feels that and Marcy Sugar more focused on your husband's shortcomings. because he doesn't physicalIf you think he's cheating, go ly touch me, he is not abusive in any way. But he is mentally and emo- back for counseling, either with him or without him, and gain some pertionally hurtful. All of his friends think he is such spective on your choices. If he is a nice guy. But his friends have constantly drunk, cannot function or plenty of affairs, and some are on becomes belligerent toward you, Al-Anon (altheir third or fourth marriages. contact Although my husband says he has anon.alateen.org). But if your probnever had an affair, it is hard to lem is that he seems to be having fun believe him when he takes in so while you are sitting at home fretmuch alcohol with his cheating ting, we strongly urge you to get involved in activities that interest friends. How do I convince him that his you, make some new friends and marriage is more important than the live your life the way you want it to social partying? We have attempted be. Dear Annie: My daughter is a counseling, but he manipulates the conversation to the point where I am bridesmaid for a sorority sister's fall the only one with an issue and he is wedding. She bought her dress, and a perfectly good guy. Do I continue the bridal shower is planned. The bride's younger sister is her to worry myself sick, or do I push for counseling again even though it maid of honor. Since she is under doesn't do any good? I don't want a 21, she will not be able to get into divorce, but I also cannot continue bars. So the bride decided she wants to let him do whatever he pleases to go out of state for the bachelorette Mailbox party for two days. The cost is $350 per person, but it doesn't include meals or gasoline for the 11-hour car trip that no one has offered to drive yet. Needless to say, this is way over her budget, but my daughter feels she has no alternative. I've heard that other bridesmaids also feel this is excessive but won't speak up at this late date. Isn't this asking a lot? Are there no limitations to expenses once you agree to be in the wedding party? — Not Made Out of Money in Maryland Dear Maryland: Brides have been known to go overboard with their financial demands on attendants. Your daughter should have spoken up early on. Now, her choice is to pay up, back out of the bachelorette party or back out of the obligation to stand up altogether, allowing the bride to choose someone more eager to part with the money. Once she speaks up, the others may, too. Dear Annie: I read the complaint from ''Frustrated,'' the woman whose friend does not drive. In our area, transportation services are offered at low cost. The services in the Los Angeles area are Dial a Ride and Access. Both are great. ''Frustrated'' can then offer her driving service on her terms. It also will give her friend the feeling of independence. — Been There in California Allow Social Security's lighthouse to guide you By Jennifer Cooper Social Security Manager in Redding Aug. 7 is National Lighthouse Day. The day honors and commemorates lighthouses, which for centuries have served as beacons of light to guide ships safely through dark and uncertain waters. Aug. 21 is National Senior Citizen Day, which recognizes the contributions senior citizens make in communities across the nation. Social Security offers a bright beacon of light for seniors and younger captains who navigate the waters of retirement planning. In fact, we have a few lighthouses that can illuminate the way to a happy retirement. Lighthouse One: The Retirement Estimator is an easy way to get an instant, personalized estimate of your future Social Security benefits. Just enter some basic information and the Estimator will use information on your Social Security record, along with what you input, to give you a benefit estimate on the spot. You also can experiment with different scenarios, such as changing your future earnings and retirement date. Check it out in English at www.socialsecurity.gov/e stimator or in Spanish at www.segurosocial.gov/ca lculador. Lighthouse Two: my Social Security is an online account that allows you quick access to your personal Social Security information. During your working years, once you create your online account, you can use my Social Security to view your Social Security Statement to check your earnings record and see estimates of the future retirement, disability, and survivor benefits you and your family may receive. If you already receive Social Security benefits, you can sign into your account to view, save, and print your benefit verification letter, check your benefit payment information, and when necessary, change your address and phone number in our records. You also can start or change your direct deposit information. Check it out at www.socialsecurity.gov/ myaccount. Lighthouse Three: The online Benefit Application is the most convenient way to apply for Social Security retirement and spouse's benefits. You can apply from the comfort of your home — it's fast, easy, and secure. It's so easy, in fact, it can take you as little as 15 minutes to apply online. In most cases, once your application is submitted electronically, you're done. There are no forms to sign and usually no documentation is required. Social Security will process your applica- tion and contact you if any further information is needed. Join the millions that have already applied online. Try it out when you're ready to retire or just want to learn more at www.socialsecurity.gov/p gm/retirement.htm. You'll find a host of other lighthouses at www.socialsecurity.gov to ensure your retirement plans don't go off course. For example, we offer an online library of topical publications you can read or listen to, and hundreds of frequently asked questions. Whether you're a new captain learning how to navigate the waters of financial planning, or a salty seadog ready for retirement, Social Security's online lighthouses are here to make sure you don't crash on the jagged sea rocks of procrastination or shallow straights of poor planning. The beacon is guiding you to www.socialsecurity.gov. National Stop on Red Week National Stop on Red Week is Aug. 4-10 and the California Office of Traffic Safety (OTS) is reminding all drivers to slow down and stop for red lights and stop signs during this special recognition week as well as every day throughout the year. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's (NHTSA), in 2011, 193 California drivers who failed to follow traffic signals were involved in fatal crashes. "Crashes that occur when a driver runs a red light are avoidable," said Christopher Murphy, director of the Office of Traffic Safety. "By observing proper speed limits, staying alert, and $ 76,36895 in Discount Coupons were published last week in the DAILY NEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMA COUNTY … And that does not Count all the ads offering percentage discounts, two-for-ones and Free-with-Purchase offers! Don't miss a Day of it! Subscribe Today 527-2151 It pays for itself. *approx. value always abiding by traffic signs and signals, we can create safer roadways for everyone." According to the Federal Highway Administration (FHWA), more people run red lights because they are in a rush than for any other reason. Additionally, FHWA cites that 50 percent of all fatalities resulting from signal violations are not the signal violators, but innocent parties who have the right of way. According to a survey conducted by the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) and the American Trauma Society (ATS), two of three Americans see other drivers run red lights almost every day. The survey also asked drivers to speculate as to why other motorists run red lights. Sixty percent responded that the drivers were in a hurry. For more information on National Stop on Red Week and other tips on Annual Hot August Sale 20% OFF All concrete & wrought Iron Statuary-Fountains-BenchesBirdbaths-Trellises-Gazebos & Yard Decor Upcoming classes & events PRESERVING THE HARVEST 8/17 @ 10AM COOL SEASON VEGGIES 8/18 @ 11AM HOT PEPPER DAY & SALSA CONTEST 8/24 Your partner for successful gardening....... 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DEAR READDr. K surgery if you haven't naturally ER: Gestational by Anthony L. your diabetes is high Komaroff, M.D. delivered baby by 38 weeks. blood sugar that Complications also can occurs during pregnancy. Normally, the hormone affect your baby right insulin moves sugar (glu- after birth. Before delivcose) from the blood- ery, your baby's pancreas stream into cells that use it has been making large of insulin for fuel. In gestational dia- amounts betes, hormones produced because of the high sugar during pregnancy make levels in your blood. The the body resistant to minute your baby is born, she is disconnected from insulin's effects. In most pregnant your blood supply. For a women, the pancreas pro- brief time, there may be duces extra insulin to too much insulin in your overcome the insulin baby's blood, given the resistance. In women with normal amount of sugar in gestational diabetes, the her blood. As a result, pancreas does not produce dangerously low blood enough extra insulin. As a sugar may result. If necesresult, sugar accumulates sary, your baby will be given sugar to counteract in the bloodstream. If your gestational dia- this. Once the baby is born, betes is not treated carefully, you are at increased the hormones that make risk of high blood pressure the body resistant to and swelling, a condition insulin go away, and the called pre-eclampsia. And high blood sugar levels your baby is at higher risk return to normal — until for prematurity, lung your next pregnancy. problems at birth and still- However, once you have had gestational diabetes birth. To prevent these com- you are also at increased plications you'll need to risk of developing Type 2 carefully control your diabetes later in life. So blood sugar through the protect yourself: After remainder of your preg- your pregnancy, reduce nancy. You may be able to your risk with regular do this by managing your exercise and a reduceddiet. If diet does not con- calorie diet. What I've written may trol your blood glucose, your doctor will prescribe sound frightening: Gestainsulin. Insulin will not tional diabetes does harm your baby as long as increase your and your you closely monitor your baby's risk for various blood sugar to keep it at health problems. But with careful medical care, and safe levels. It is really important possibly with lifestyle that your obstetrician fol- changes, you can protect low you and your baby both yourself and your carefully during pregnan- baby. cy, and during labor and Dr. Komaroff is a delivery. Gestational diabetes physician and professor Harvard Medical can create complications at To send during delivery. That's School. go to because your baby may be questions, or larger than normal. Why? AskDoctorK.com, Because the baby is write: Ask Doctor K, 10 exposed in the womb to Shattuck St., Second your high sugar levels. If Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Benefit rafting trip River rafting, nature appreciation, lots of dark chocolate and organic desserts combine for a Day on the River - A Sweet Extravaganza, a fundraising event for the Mount Shasta Bioregional Ecology Center. Rafting begins Sept. 15 at the Klamath's Tree of Heaven Campground, meandering along a seven mile stretch of gentle Class 2 and 3 rapids. Novices, children four and older and experienced rafters are all welcome on this joyful heart-lifting community spirited day. Cost is $85 for adults and $55 for children. Advance reservations suggested. For more information, call 530 926-5655 or visit www.mountshastaecology.org.