Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/147169
Bloated, Standardized and Offensively Banal The Lone Ranger (Rated PG-13) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS Wild, Wild, West. Jonah Hex. Cowboys and Aliens. The Lone Ranger (149 minutes) is the moldy cherry on top of the garbage flavored western sundae that the Hollywood machine spent the last few years building. There are so many things wrong with this movie, but the most glaring is its utter ordinariness. The Disney whimsy is here, and Director Verbinski's style is evident, but it's all flash and no substance. There is absolutely no attempt to challenge the inequality of the traditional cowboys-and-Indians Western subgenre. Let's ignore the racism of Tonto's 1950s characterization and skip straight ahead to the casting of Johnny Depp — who insists he can find some Comanche in his ancestry. Keep working on that, Johnny … and meanwhile, enjoy this short list of actual indigenous (not all Comanche) who weren't cast: Adam Beach, Cody Deal, Moses Brings Plenty and Rodney Grant … any one of whom would have worked, none of whom would have cost as much as Depp. And considering the pounding the film has already taken at the box office, maybe next time filmmakers can save a little money instead of hiring one of the most expensive actors out there. The film is bookended with the 1933 World's Fair in San Francisco. A kid dressed as a cowboy, who clearly eats all his vegetables and believes everything adults tell him about middle-class values, meets an elderly Comanche. The boy gets to hear the story of John Reid, The Lone Ranger (the squarejawed Armie Hammer). Waaay back in 1869 Reid is headed home to Texas via the Transcontinental Railroad. On the way, he encounters outlaw Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner) locked in a cattle car with Tonto (Depp). Cavendish escapes because Reid is a fan of John Locke's Treatise on Government, leaving Reid and Tonto to figure out how to stop a runaway train. Of course they survive, although one wonders how many innocent bystanders were wounded and killed as the train barreled out of control through a crowd of railroad workers. For some reason the completely inadequate Reid is deputized by his more capable brother (James Badge Dale) to join the posse of Texas Rangers going after Cavendish. So, naturally, when the posse is ambushed, John Reid is the only survivor. Tonto declares Reid a spirit walker and finally, after about an hour of narrative wandering, insists that he don a mask and become the Lone Ranger. Which totally makes sense! Because otherwise the bad guys will know who he is! Even though the bad guys probably don't actually care who he is. There is some attempt to inject some historical perspective on the Comanche into the film, but since it ends with the bodies of almost the entire Comanche Nation floating downriver, I'm sort of wondering how the film got away with the PG13 rating. Overall, this mess of a movie never rises above its extremely dated source material. Verbinksi and Depp must be the most overrated movie pair, ever. This is a straightforward action film that will appeal most to the segment of the audience that already loves the Lone Ranger, but will not turn into a Pirates of the Caribbean-style franchise. Save yourself the money and go rent Mask of Zorro, it's pretty much the same movie anyway. Now showing at Wynnsong HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing 7, Carmike 12 and Carmike Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@upandMarket Fair 15. comingweekly.com. Comedians at Play Lisa Kudrow and friends crack each other up in Web Therapy TV by DEAN ROBBINS Web Therapy is a series where comedians amuse each other and, more often than not, the viewers (Tuesday, 11 p.m., Showtime). Lisa Kudrow plays a dumb, vain, manipulative therapist named Fiona, who communicates with people via web chat. Each half-hour episode consists of a double-screen image, with Kudrow on one side talking to stars like Megan Mullally and Steve Carell on the other. In season three, they improvise silly conversations about a misbegotten Broadway musical and a phony self-help cult called Quorum. Carell plays Jackson, the head of Quorum, and this week he hooks up both Fiona and himself to a "soul-cleansing machine." The machine makes a pleasant DING after a truthful answer and provides an electric shock after a lie. Jackson gets a shock when he denies that he once sold timeshares. He takes an additional jolt when he insists that they were "spiritually based timeshares." BZZT! A blooper reel over the closing credits shows the stars having a good time. You'll have a good time, too. DING. Best Daym Takeout Wednesday, 8 pm (Travel Channel) Daymon Patterson is a big guy in a hoodie who conducts tours of American takeout joints like a brash hip-hop MC. He lays down a percussive line of patter while searching for the best takeout in one city per week, using his car as his crib. The series' editor draws inspiration from Daymon's flow, so that Best Daym Takeout pops like a Jay-Z track. How much does our excitable host love food? Never have I seen such passion for gravy, beef and cheese on the small screen. Daymon moans and squeals in his front seat. At a Chicago pizza place, he affectionately converses with a slice of pepperoni. "That's the type of pie you want to marry," he concludes. Daymon makes the best case ever for human/food intermarriage. WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM Psychic Tia Saturday, 10 pm (A&E) Tia Belle runs a psychic shop in New Jersey, dressed in a black Morticia Addams gown and a 20-pound cross necklace. She heals people, casts spells and communes with the ghosts of clients' loved ones. And she manages these miraculous feats with nothing more than candles and a deck of cards. Oh, and a New Jersey attitude that would put Tony Soprano to shame. Tia has a big mouth and an abrasive personality, speaking in a thick Joisey accent. She is conspicuously lacking in mysteriousness when she screams at her son: "STOP BUSTIN' MY BALLS!" If I were a ghost, I would refuse to materialize when I heard that ear-splitting voice. I would waft the hell out of New Jersey. The Newsroom Sunday, 10 pm (HBO) In this week's stunning episode, the cable news network faces challenges on several fronts. In each case, personal feelings intrude on the dispassionate business of gathering news. Neal (Dev Patel) arranges an on-air interview for his contact at Occupy Wall Street. When it goes badly, she punches him in the gut. Jim (John Gallagher Jr.) has a chance to redeem himself in covering the Romney campaign but lets his heart get in the way, with disastrous consequences. Most affecting of all is Maggie's (Alison Pill) experience at a Ugandan orphanage — a tale she recounts back in New York City to a sneering lawyer (Marcia Gay Harden). She explains why she fell apart after her encounter with an orphan boy who was fascinated by her blond hair. Warning: At the climax of this plot strand, you will feel like you've been punched in the gut. JULY 31 - AUGUST 6, 2013 UCW 21