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4A Daily News – Friday, April 12, 2013 Opinion Everywhere a sign DAILY NEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMA COUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U NTY S I N C E 1 8 8 5 Greg Stevens, Publisher gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Chip Thompson, Editor editor@redbluffdailynews.com Editorial policy The Daily News opinion is expressed in the editorial. The opinions expressed in columns, letters and cartoons are those of the authors and artists. Letter policy The Daily News welcomes letters from its readers on timely topics of public interest. All letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and cannot exceed two double-spaced pages or 500 words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section of those submitted will be considered for publication. Letters will be edited. Letters are published at the discretion of the editor. Mission Statement We believe that a strong community newspaper is essential to a strong community, creating citizens who are better informed and more involved. The Daily News will be the indispensible guide to life and living in Tehama County. We will be the premier provider of local news, information and advertising through our daily newspaper, online edition and other print and Internet vehicles. The Daily News will reflect and support the unique identities of Tehama County and its cities; record the history of its communities and their people and make a positive difference in the quality of life for the residents and businesses of Tehama County. How to reach us Main office: 527-2151 Classified: 527-2151 Circulation: 527-2151 News tips: 527-2153 Sports: 527-2153 Obituaries: 527-2151 Photo: 527-2153 On the Web www.redbluffdailynews.com Fax Newsroom: 527-9251 Classified: 527-5774 Retail Adv.: 527-5774 Legal Adv.: 527-5774 Business Office: 527-3719 Address 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080, or P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 I had a sign of the times moment the other day when I stopped into CVS to pick up a prescription. This was the former location in the Belle Mill Shopping Center, just a couple of days before the store moved Sunday into the South Main Street building. Many shelves were bare because the move was in progress and of the items still in the store, several couldn't be purchased — presumably they had been inventoried but not yet transferred. A minor inconvenience. On the way out of the store I asked a cashier, who was helping a customer put purchases into a cart, when the store would open at the new location. "Sunday," she cheerfully answered. It's what the customer said a moment later that filled in the private conversation between the two. "I guess nobody bothers to read signs anymore." I'll admit, I don't pay much attention to signs at retail stores — the largest and most prominent being for specials on items, more often than not, I don't need or can't afford. In fact, we're so bombard- ed by signs at most shops that I wonder whether I actively ignore such marketing — thereby missing the sign announcing the opening of the new store. The newspaper's not so different. At least a couple of times in each edition, I place what we call a filler ad at the end of a story or corner of a page when stories and photos won't fill the available space and there's not enough room for an additional story. Building a page is a lot like playing Tetris, and these single square fillers can be a life-saver. The fillers hold a variety of useful information, but always along the theme of how to submit items to the Daily News for publication. "News Tip?" "Community Clip?" "Education News?" are common examples, each followed by an email address and fax number to which to send submissions. Add to these filler ads the publication of our masthead in every edition, at the bottom left of page 2A, which includes information on how to contact me, my boss and probably a few folks you would never think to contact here at the *** Daily News. For those who may So how come I get at have found yourselves least a half-dozen calls scratching your heads, each and every day from the masthead of a newspeople in the communipaper lists each of the ty asking how they can department heads and submit something to the contact information. paper for publication? The term is often misTo quote my fellow takenly used to describe CVS customer: I guess the banner at the top of nobody bothers to read the front page — we call signs anymore. that the flag. *** Finally, I don't Thundering heard Chip believe Elvisesque is a I picked up my "Join the Thundering Herd" Thompson real word. I was relieved, though, when a button at the Red BluffTehama County Cham- 545 Diamond quick web search out of curiosity showed it pop ber of Commerce the Ave. up on Wiktionary and other day. I expect I'll other wordy sounding do exactly that Saturday afternoon at the ICS Chili Cook sites, including wordnik, definitions, wordsense and lexic. Off downtown. If the use of an invented word *** for the sake of a joke left you more Ominous or Elvisesque? Received an email Monday angry than bemused, I'll suggest from the Governor's Press Office, your sense of humor has left the as I do a few times each day, that building. stated simply: Chip Thompson can be "Governor Brown's Schedule reached at 527-2151, Ext. 112 for April 8, 2013 by email at "SACRAMENTO – The Gov- or editor@redbluffdailynews.com. ernor has left the state." Your officials STATE ASSEMBLYMAN — Dan Logue, 1550 Humboldt Road, Ste. 4, Chico, CA 95928, 530-895-4217 STATE SENATOR — Jim Nielsen, 2635 Forest Ave., Ste. 110, Chico, CA 95928, (530) 879-7424, senator.nielsen@senate.ca.gov GOVERNOR — Jerry Brown, State Capitol Bldg., Sacramento, CA 95814; (916) 445-2841; Fax (916) 558-3160; E-mail: governor@governor.ca.gov. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE — Doug LaMalfa 506 Cannon House Office Building, Washington, DC 20515, 202-225-3076. U.S. SENATORS — Dianne Feinstein (D), One Post Street, Suite 2450, San Francisco, CA 94104; (415) 393-0707. Fax (415) 393-0710. Barbara Boxer (D), 1700 Montgomery St., Suite 240, San Francisco, CA 94111; (510) 286-8537. Fax (202) 224-0454. Commentary Tennis; a grand game for grand people Tennis, like golf, can be a frustrating game. Initially, you spend more time picking up balls on the court (or trying to find them, as in golf) than hitting them. Once you learn to hit with authority, then it becomes fun and rewarding. The late Virginia Kaer found it so. She not only mastered the game, she and husband Mort went on to create the Valley Oaks Tennis Club circa 1980, which remains our one and only such club to this day. She and Mort also created exceptionally good players in their children Andy, Karen, Kristen and Kathy. Their girls were on the RBUHS tennis team, along with the Minch sisters Maralyn and Madalyn. Those were the days we all remember so well…and with Virginia at courtside urging them on. She will be greatly missed. *** We have it on good authority that the New Dollar General Market, on the site of the former Holiday Market on Antelope Boulevard, will open on the 19th of April. *** Jacob is 4, and rather precocious. He and his mother (our granddaughter Natalie Duckham) were in their car when a fire engine went by. Jacob became excited and his mother said, "What was that?" He said it was a fire engine. "What does it do?" she asked. He replied that it saves lives. "Who else saves lives?" his mother inquired. "Policemen," he answered, knowing that his mother is a police officer. "Who else saves lives," she persisted. "Doctors...and nurses...and stop lights" was his reply. This answer surprised his mother, but he continued, "You see, they stop traffic and allow little children to safely cross the street!" I wouldn't have thought of that at 80 let alone at 4. *** Irony: a) The use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning. b) A usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony. The San Francisco Giants versus the Saint Louis Cardinals game last Sunday certainly seems to qualify as ironic. The Giants had manhandled the Cardinals in last season's playoffs resulting in the Giants gaining their second World Championship in 3 years. Not leaving well enough alone, the Giants' man- agement decided to hold a 3- day season open- human flatus. To quote Alan Kligerer celebration featuring a flag man, "A gas smell is as charhoisting and an elaborate acteristic of a person as a finWorld Series ring ceremony gerprint is ... but harder to which the visiting Cardinals dust for." were forced to endure on the I challenge our other DN sidelines. Was it not ironic columnists to top this subthen that the Birds whupped ject. It may prove to be much opening day starting pitcher more personal than Tea ParMatt Cain for 9 runs in one ties and partisan inning...going on to win a politics...although one could laugher 14 to 3? However, find some correlation therein the Giants rebounded the Robert from time to time. next day and will probably *** have another winning seaLast week's quiz was son. But what a Sunday first answered by N. Ricks Shocker that game was. Cerand quickly followed by L. tainly took our minds off Brown and S. Rodriguez North Korea for the day. who discovered that Frederick and August *** Here is a subject not often addressed by fel- Duesenberg built the Duesenberg car in Iowa, The Duke of Wellington was given low columnists. Michael Levitt has published 34 papers on credit for defeating Napoleon at Waterloo flatus. He identified the three sulfur gases and Lee Duncan was Rin Tin Tin's owner responsible for flatus odor. He showed that it is and trainer. This week's quiz: Match these cities, mainly trapped methane gas, not dietary fiber Philadelphia, Boston, Denver and Kansas City or fat, which makes the floater float. Levitt was asked if it was difficult to recruit with their nicknames: Cradle of Liberty, volunteers for the flatus studies. It wasn't, part- Queen City of the Plains, Heart of America ly because the subjects were paid for their con- and City of Brotherly Love. *** tributions. People who sell their flatus are Sources say that the 10 most popular adoptmore or less the same crowd who turn up to able dog names are Buddy, Max, Daisy, Bella, sell their blood. "What was hard," Levitt says, "was finding Lucy, Jack, Molly, Charlie, Sadie and Rocky. the judges." Levitt needed a pair of odor judges Does that mean that people adopt from a kento take "several sniffs" and rate the noxious- nel by name rather than by the looks of the ness — from "no odor" to "very offensive" — pet? I don't buy that at all. I think they go by of each of the sixteen people's flatal contribu- the way the dog responds to the viewer. I will tions. The hypothesis was that noxiousness have to ask the pound about this. *** would correlate with the combined concentraA derelict walks into a bank and says, "I tions of the three sulfur gases. And it did. Curious as to which olfactory notes the dif- have a hunch that you won't cash this check." ferent sulfur gases contributed to the overall The teller responds, "If I had hunches like that bouquet of flatus, Levitt purchased samples of I'd do nothing but play the horses!" A bank opened a branch near a cemetery. In the three gases from a chemical supply house. The judges agreed on the following descrip- the window the president put a sign that read, tors: "rotten eggs" for hydrogen sulfide, the "You can't take it with you when you go, but gas with the strongest correlation to stink; here's a chance to be near it." "decomposing vegetables" for methanethiol; Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red and "sweet" for dimethyl sulfide. Though lesser players like methylmercaptan contribute as Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily well, it is for the most part these three notes, in Observer and Meat Industry magazine and subtly shifting combinations and percentages, author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be that create the infinite olfactory variety of reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com. Minch I Say