Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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MAY 3-9, 2017 UCW 31 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS by Amy Alkon Swarm Fuzzies I got in an argument with my boyfriend about the reason not to have sex outside our relationship. He said he wouldn't do it because he wouldn't want to hurt me. I said he shouldn't want to be with anybody else, but he said that's just not realistic for guys. Are men really just these unfeeling sex machines? — Dismayed In fact, if there's one secret guys try to keep from women, it's this: A man can really love a woman and still want to spend the afternoon wrecking the bed with her BFF, her well-preserved mom and her sister. As awful as that probably sounds, men's evolved lust for sexual variety isn't something you and other women should take personally. Evolutionary psychologists David Buss and David Schmitt explain that genetically speaking, it's generally in a man's interest to pursue a "short-term sexual strategy" — pounce and bounce, coitus and, um, avoid us — with as many women as possible. This isn't to say men evolved to be entirely without discernment. Because "beautiful" features (like pillowy lips and an hourglass bod) reflect health and fertility, if a man has a choice in casual sexmates, he'll go for a hot woman, but if he doesn't, he'll go for a woman with a pulse. However, Buss and Schmitt explain there are times when it's to a man's advantage to pursue a "long-term sexual strategy" — commitment to one woman. It's a quality-over-quantity strategy — wanting a woman with "high mate value" (one who's physically and psychologically desirable enough to hold out for a guy who'll commit). Other factors include seeking the emotional, social and cooperative benefits of a partnership and wanting to retire from the time-, energy-, and resource-suck of working the ladies on Match.com like a second job. In light of this, think about what your boyfriend's really telling you by opting for, "Honey, where do I sign away my sexual freedom?" This isn't dismaying, degrading or any of the other bummer D-words. In fact, it's really romantic, considering that men evolved to be sexual foragers. But for your boyfriend's desire to make a life with you, he could be wandering the planet and sharing his life and hopes and dreams — uh, for about six minutes and 23 seconds — with a wide variety of oiled-up naked strangers. Copyright 2017 Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by Chuck Sheppard A June 2016 police raid on David Jessen's Fresno County (California) farmhouse caused a $150,000 mess when sheriff's deputies and Clovis Police Department officers "rescued" it from a trespassing homeless man — with the massive destruction leading to Jessen's lawsuit announced in March. The misdemeanant helped himself to an ice cream bar, some milk and half a tomato, but was otherwise "unarmed;" however, by the time the police standoff ended, the "crime scene" included more than 50 cop cars, a SWAT team (and backups), two helicopters, standby ambulances, a police robot and a crisis negotiation team. Windows, walls and wrought-iron doors were destroyed; tear gas and a "flash bomb" were employed. (Jessen suspects the farmhouse's isolation enticed police to decide that it presented an excellent training opportunity.) [TechDirt, 3-13-2017] Compelling Explanations "Pro-choice" activist Jessica Farrar, a Texas state legislator, introduced a bill in March to create consistency between the state's rigorous regulation of women's reproductive functions and those of men (regulation which, by the way, in either case she calls "invasive" and "unnecessary"). Because Texas's anti- abortion laws highlight "procreation" as a crucial government interest, she believes male use of erectile-dysfunction drugs should be regulated as abortion is. Under her bill, individual use of Viagra or similar drugs must be preceded by "counseling" similar to that required by abortion laws, and since male masturbation involves the "wasting" of precious sperm cells, it, too, would require "beforehand" counseling. [Texas Tribune, 3-12-2017] Jason Sexton told KFSM-TV in Fort Smith, Arkansas, in April that he alone had been digging the massive hole neighbors noticed, now 34 feet deep and with separate tunnels extending off of the main hole. Police had come to check it out, since it was on another person's private property (and not the city's, which Sexton had assumed). He said he had been digging off and on for three years to get an answer to whether "the Spanish" had been in Fort Smith centuries ago, mining iron, and, if so, the site should therefore be a lucrative tourist destination. Sexton said he felt he had to give his explanation: "Nobody in their right mind," he said, "would dig a hole (this big) for no reason." [KFSM-TV, 4-13-2017] Copyright 2017 Chuck Sheppard ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 You can only proscratinate for son long, Aries. Soon enough this will catch up with you, so it's best to start addressing your to-do list as soon as possible. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Your patience will boil over this week if you do not find a way to let off steam, Taurus. Exercise may be just what you need, so schedule some time to work out. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, speak up and share your opinion this week. Others will appreciate your straightforwardness. Explain your point of view in detail and others will see where you are coming from. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you wear your heart on your sleeve, and those closest to you will be able to figure out what is going on in your head. Accept their support when it is offered. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Sometimes even Leos needs to work through their feelings on their own. Don't be afraid to spend some time reflecting on what you need to resolve. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, it's nice to have like-minded people around you to support your efforts. But sometimes you need someone who sees things differently to shake up your perspective. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, make a concerted effort to block out any distractions in the days ahead. You might not avoid all the turmoil, but your efforts will prove fruitful. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, take others' point of view to heart in the days ahead. This signals to others you value their opinions and recognize their efforts. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Others can use a dose of your optimism right now, Sagittarius. Find a way to include as many people as possible as you look to spread some sunshine around. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, you may develop a soft spot for someone who needs your help in the next few days. Do all you can without stretching yourself too thin. Your assistance will be appreciated. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, in your search for a different perspective, you may find yourself confiding in a coworker in the coming days. Give careful consideration to any advice you receive. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, your imagination is running wild and this could lead you on an unexpected adventure. Take a level-headed friend along for the ride. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard Your opinion is something we always want to hear. Call or email us your feedback. WE'RE ALL EARS Questions? Comments? Story Ideas? Let us know how we're doing. 208 Rowan St. Fayetteville, NC 28301 910.484.6200 www.upandcomingweekly.com