Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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MARCH 8-14, 2017 UCW 31 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS A Ruse Is A Ruse Is A Ruse A year ago, the woman who pet-sits for me began inviting herself over for dinner. We started going out about three times a week. I always paid for dinner. She never introduced me to her friends, wouldn't let me pick her up at her apartmen and wouldn't let me touch her. Even a genial "thank you" touch on the arm got a grim response. Her reason: She didn't want a relationship. I kept hoping this would change. Recently, I went on Facebook and saw that she's been in a relationship with another man. Her response? "Well, I'm not sleeping with him, so I can see whomever I want." After a long, demoralizing year, I ended things. Did I do right by getting out? — Not A Game Player Having regular dinners with somebody doesn't mean you're dating. I have dinner with my TV several nights a week, but that doesn't mean I should get "Samsung forever!" tattooed on my special place. Consciously or subconsciously, this woman deceived you into thinking a relationship was possible — but she had help. Yours. To understand how you got tripped up, let's take a look at self- deception through an evolutionary lens. Evolutionary researchers William von Hippel and Robert Trivers describe self- deception as a "failure to tell the self the whole truth" by excluding the parts that go poorly with our goals and our preferred view of ourselves. We do this through "information-processing biases that give priority to welcome over unwelcome information." Or, in plain English: What we ignore the hell out of can't hurt us. Seems crazy, huh — that we would have evolved to have a faulty view of reality? However, von Hippel and Trivers contend that the ability to self-deceive evolved to help us be better at deceiving others — keeping us from giving off the cues we do when we know we're putting out a big fibby. As Trivers explains in "The Folly of Fools": "We hide reality from our conscious minds the better to hide it from onlookers." Knowing that we do this can help us remember to ask the right questions — the ego-gnawing kind — and drag the facts upstairs to consciousness and give them a long look. Nice as it is to glimpse the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel," it's wise to make sure it isn't just the one on the tip of the colonoscope. Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Although discouraging the marriage of children in developing nations has been U.S. foreign policy for years, a data- collecting watchdog group in America disclosed in February that 27 U.S. states have no minimum marriage ages and estimates that an average of almost 25,000 children age 15 and under are permitted to marry every year ("estimates" because some states do not keep records by age). Child marriage is often allowed in the U.S. if parents approve, although no such exemption is made in foreign policy, largely to curb developing nations' "family honor" marriages — which often wreck girls' chances for self- actualizing. (However, "family honor" is still, in some states, the basis for allowing U.S. child marriages, such as with "shotgun" weddings.) [Unchained At Last via Washington Post, 2-10-2017] Compelling Explanations Creative: (1) Glenn Schloeffel, vice president of the Central Bucks school board in a Philadelphia suburb, recommended that science books be viewed skeptically on "climate change" because teenage "depression" rates have been increasing. Surely, he said, one factor depressing students is reading all that alarming climate- change data. (2) Seattle's Real Estate Services rental agency has informed the family of the late Dennis Hanel that it would not return Hanel's security deposit following his January death because Hanel had not given the lease-required "notice" giving up his apartment. (He had cancer, but died of a heart attack. Washington state law requires only that the landlord provide an explanation of why it is keeping the deposit.) [Philadelphia Magazine, 2-14-2017] [Crosscut Public Media (Seattle), 2-15-2017] Runaway Math John Haskew, who told investigators that he was "self-taught on the banking industry," evidently thought he might succeed making bogus wire transfers to himself from a large (unidentified) national bank, in the amount of $7 billion. He pleaded guilty in February in Lakeland, Florida. (He said he thought he "deserved" the money.) Copyright Chuck Sheppard ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 A positive reaction to a stressful situation can only work in your favor, Aries. When others buckle under the pressure, you are able to deliver. Higher-ups will recognize this. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, even if you believe that your life is floating out of control, you have the ability to rein things in whenever you desire. Ask for help if you need it. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, although you may want to incorporate others' plans into your weekly goals, this might be the time to focus solely on your own needs. Once you are set, you can assist others. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, there is no room in your life right now for lazy thinking. All of your focus must be directed at the tasks at hand because someone is relying entirely on you. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 No one can force you to share your deepest emotions if you're not ready to do so, Leo. Wait until the time is right to bare any secrets. You may have romantic surprises. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, resist the temptation to give into impulses, analyzing and giving careful thought to your ideas instead. You have an entire week to work things out. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Don't allow a power struggle to disturb the harmony at home or at the office, Libra. Unless you can be level-headed and see all sides of the situation, keep mum. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, continue to be diligent in your pursuit of knowledge. The more you learn, the more fulfilled you will be. Consider going back to school to satisfy your thirst for knowledge. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, speaking about fantasies as if they are real can be enjoyable, but do not start believing the tales are true. You may need a good dose of reality this week. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Relationship issues with a friend, spouse or even family member come to the forefront this week, Capricorn. Try to remain cool and level- headed throughout. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, you will be recognized for your efforts behind the scenes even if you are not in the spotlight. It's enough to get credit, especially if it can propel your career further. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, useful ideas come your way after a chat with colleagues or friends. Pool this inspiration together for a plan.. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard