Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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JULY 20-26, 2016 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Stray It Forward I'm a single guy who started a "friends with benefits" thing two months ago with an unhappily married female co-worker. We've since developed feelings for each other and started talking about a future. I'm worried because people always say, "If she cheated with you, she'll cheat on you." And because she's unhappy with her husband, does that mean she'll eventually be unhappy with me and see it as reason to cheat? — Hesitant Okay, sure, have a FWB thing, but with a married co-worker? What happened — too overworked to swipe right on Tinder? And as for why your co-worker started outsourcing her sex life, there's an assumption that people cheat because they're in crappy marriages or relationships. Maybe her marriage is unhappy, but infidelity researcher Shirley Glass found that even people in happy, loving marriages can end up cheating. They do this for a variety of reasons. As for whether this woman would cheat on you, that depends on whether she's the sort of person who cheats. And no, that isn't as idiotic as it sounds. Evolutionary psychologists David Buss and Todd Shackelford found that there are personality traits common to people susceptible to cheating. One of the strongest predictors is "narcissism" — a personality trait marked by self-importance, self-absorption, a profound sense of entitlement and a lack of empathy. Another big predictor is "low conscientiousness," reflected in unreliability, disorganization, laziness and a lack of self-control. And finally, there's the unfortunately Norman Batesy- sounding "high psychoticism" — a mix of aggressiveness, impulsivity and an inability to delay gratification. Sound like anybody you've met in the janitor's closet recently? Even if this woman checks out personality-wise, you'll have a much clearer picture of what's possible after she gets divorced. That is, if she gets divorced — if this thing with you doesn't turn out to be "affair-apy" (a little sexual tide-me-over until she can patch things up with her husband). Regardless, you should take the time — a year or more — to parse who she really is and whether she and her husband are simply two (irreconcilably) different people or whether he just watches a wee bit too much ESPN when he comes home. If you're lucky, you'll find these things out from her, and not in some awkward moment at the end of the workday when you finally get a chance to, uh, chat with her husband — through the windshield as you're clinging to the hood of his moving car. Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD More and more churches ("hundreds," according to a June Christianity Today report) offer hesitant parishioners a "money-back guarantee" if they tithe 10 percent (or more) of their income for 90 days — but then feel that God blesses them insufficiently in return. The South Carolina megachurch NewSpring instituted such a program in the 1990s and claims that, of 7,000 recent pledgers, "fewer than 20" expressed dissatisfaction with the Lord. Advocates cite the Bible's Book of Malachi, quoting God himself (according to Christianity Today): "Test me in this." "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse" and "see if I will not pour out so much blessing" that "there will not be room enough to store it." [Christianity Today, 6-28-2016] New World Order A leading Chinese orthopedic surgeon continues to believe that "full-body" transplants are the next big thing in medicine, despite worldwide skepticism about both the science and the ethics. The plan for Dr. Ren Xiaoping of Harbin Medical University calls for removing both heads (the deceased donor's and the live recipient's), connecting the blood vessels, stabilizing the new neck, and "bath(ing)" spinal-cord nerve endings chemically so they will connect. (Critics say it is impossible to "connect" spinal- cord nerves.) According to a June New York Times dispatch, doctors regularly denounce China's ethical laxities (though Chinese officials term such denunciations "envy" at China's achievements). [New York Times, 6-11-2016] Suspicions Confirmed (1) In June, District Attorney Jerry Jones in Monroe, Louisiana, dropped drug and gun charges against college football players Cam Robinson and Hootie Jones (who play for University of Alabama but are from Monroe) — declaring that the "main reason" for his decision is that "I refuse to ruin the lives of two young men who have spent their adolescence and teenage years working and sweating, while we were all in the air conditioning." (2) A Philadelphia "casting" agency solicited "extras" to show up at polling stations on the April 26 Pennsylvania primary day for candidate Kevin Boyle, who was running against state Sen. John Sabatina — offering $120 each (plus lunch and an open bar). Since most polling-site "electioneering" is illegal, the probable job was merely to give voters the impression that Boyle was very popular. (Sabatina narrowly won.) [Times- Picayune (New Orleans), 6-22- 2016] [Gawker.com, 4-27-2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you may feel a bit disconnected from your feelings this week. It's alright to pull back for a time and get things straight in your head. Things will soon return to the status quo. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, take constructive criticism in stride this week. Criticism can sometimes sting, but this critique is meant to assist you in the long run. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, this week you are acutely aware of a strong emotional bond between yourself and someone who is off-limits. You may need to rein in your feelings and keep things friendly. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Holding on to a bunch of material belongings simply because they bring you comfort may bog you down with unnecessary stuff, Cancer. Start cleaning up. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, things that you say or do this week may seem like they are scripted out of a movie. Rather than putting on an act, let others know how you truly feel. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, if you open yourself up to change, you may find that there are plenty of additional opportunities coming your way. Be receptive to new ideas this week. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, your natural ability to interact gracefully with others will serve you well in many different applications. This is especially helpful in a managerial capacity. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, this week your loved ones will chip in and take the burden off of you in some way. Make sure they know how much you appreciate them. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, let your emotions guide you in the week ahead. While it's important to apply critical thinking to big decisions, this week you will benefit from an emotional approach. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 It can be difficult to separate work life from home life, Capricorn. But that's just what you have to do in the days ahead. Otherwise, neither will get your full attention. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 You may be eager to learn more about someone this week, even if this person is not in your immediate circle of friends, Aquarius. Explore the possibilities that lie ahead. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, sticking to a firm schedule might be nearly impossible in the next few days. Make things a bit more fluid so you have some wiggle room. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard