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Iamnowthefatherof two married sons. Un- til last week, I was the fa- ther of one married son and one engaged son. Last weekend, the elder Marcus and his fiancée exchanged vows at a lovely ceremony filled with joy, laughter and happy tears (most of which were mine). Toasts were made. Shouts of "mazel tov" rang from the ceiling. Well wishes were abundant. I'm sure they're going to do really well. However, that's not the case for so many. As I learned many years ago, "Fifty percent of all marriages in divorce. Of those that remain, 90 percent end in boredom. If you want to be the five percent that stay happy, it's going to take some work." To that end, I've looked back on over two decades of being in a happy, sup- portive marriage with my lovely, talented, creative (very patient) wife and I pass along my own take on how to stay married — and happy — over the long term. Rule #1: Love your partner for who she is to- day, not whom you think you can make her into "down the road." Assume she is as good a partner as she'll ever be RIGHT NOW. Don't be- lieve that living together will make her "come around" to your think- ing. If she has what you consider annoying traits, don't make the blunder of thinking how you'll change them after you're married. Accept her as she is; not who you'll think she'll be. If she's not who you desire now, she sure as heck won't be later. Rule #2: Realize that there are three — not two — entities in your rela- tionship. There's "you" and "me" of course. But there's also "us." Each needs nurtur- ing and support. I need stretches to just be "me." You need periods to just be "you." And we must carve out time to be "us." Friction is often the re- sult of one or more of the three being overlooked. It goes without saying that if we don't spend time as a couple, why stays to- gether? Yet, conversely, we can't do everything as a pair no matter how close we are. Take time apart. Look forward to being together. Enjoy both. Rule #3: Given the choice between being "right" or being "happy," choose the latter. The vast majority of disagreements begin as trivial differences: "Why don't you make the bed more often?" "Could you please pick up your clothes?" "Why do I al- ways have to do the dust- ing?" Slow down long enough to ask yourself, "Is this really worth a disagreement?" If it is, talk it out with respect — and the understand- ing that there's proba- bly "right" on both sides. If it's not worth a fight — and most things aren't (or you're in the wrong relationship) — let it go. Honor the request. Smile while you do it. Rule #4: Don't keep score. If you find yourself say- ing, "I've told you a thou- sand times…" it doesn't mean they're not listen- ing. It means you're not communicating. My ex used to say; "I want it on the record that I cleaned the bathroom the last three times." "Duly noted," I replied, feeling like it was be- ing tallied on my "per- manent record" like we all supposedly had in el- ementary school. In- stead of making virtual tick marks about who's doing what, ask directly for what you need. If you get what you want, say "thank you." If not, see Rule #3. Rule #5: Understand that the look and feel of the relationship will change. Passion ebbs and flows but love and respect only deepen. Having said that, bring home flowers; schedule date nights; sur- prise him with gifts; hold hands in public; hug of- ten. Tell her how proud and how much in love you are with her. Tell her you'd do it all over again. Find new ways to do all of the above. Scott"Q"Marcusis a nationally known weight loss expert for baby boomers and the CRP — Chief Recovering Perfectionist — of www. ThisTimeIMeanIt.com. Check out his new series of free weight loss videos and other inspirational material at www. FourMonthsToGoal.com. SCOTTMARCUS Rulesfora happy marriage Scott Marcus Sheriff Jud W. Boyd left last night for San Fran- cisco to draw down about $75,000 deposited in a bank there for his account. The only trouble is he cant keep the cash after he gets it. Readers of the News will remember that last spring Sheriff Boyd sold at public auction the Perrine lands of about 30,000 acres to satisfy a $66,000 mort- gage held against them. The property is located in the coast range mountains near Paskenta. The Perrine family have succeeded in raising suf- ficient funds to recover the property and now want to redeem it. The to- tal costs, interest, premi- ums, etc., bring the sum now necessary to get the land back in their posses- sion up to about $75,000. The money has been de- posited by them in a San Francisco bank for the ac- count of Sheriff Boyd, who will close up the transac- tion, deliver the money to the holders of the mort- gage, and deliver the deeds of the property back to the Perrine family. The land is practically all in a heavy timber sec- tion but is so far from mar- ket as to be difficult to han- dle. — April 1, 1916 100 YEARS AGO... Boyda er$75,000le forhiminSFbank The Norcal Miniature Horse Club is proud to host a Miniature Horse show set for 8 a.m. today and Sat- urday at The Rolling Hills Equestrian Center in Corn- ing. There will be two fun- filled days devoted to min- iature horses. All horses will be less than 34 inches tall at the last hair of the mane. At this show, horses will compete in halter, obstacle, performance driving, jump- ing and hunt classes. The general public is in- vited to join for this fun- filled weekend devoted to the miniature horse. There is no charge. For additional informa- tion, call Madelyn Blanton at (775) 225-5778. NORCAL Miniature Horse Club show today Thefollowinginformationis compiled from Red Bluff Po- lice Department, Red Bluff Fire, Tehama County Sher- iff's Department, Corning Police Department, Corning Fire, Cal Fire and California Highway Patrol logs. Arrest PeterFracchia: 39, of Red Bluff was arrested and booked into Tehama County Jail Wednesday on the felony charge of making a fictitious check. No bail was set. Daniel Reeder: 43, of Red Bluff was arrested and booked Wednesday on charges of corporal injury to a spouse and battery. No bail was set. Jessie Alaniz: 24, of Red Bluff was arrested and booked Wednesday on the charge of hit and run caus- ing a death or injury. Bail was set at $10,000. The Butte Street, Corning: A woman's Redding Bank of Commerce bank card was reported stolen Tuesday and used at Sav-Mor and Round Table Pizza in Corning. The total amount of charges was $300. 10600block of Decker Av- enue: A cell phone and car keys were reported stolen Wednesday from the break room at a business. 7000block of Round Up Drive: A woman reported Wednesday that a lawn statue was stolen from her front porch. The the occurred sometime in the night. The value of the statue was estimated at $100. 20600block of Estel Lane: A woman reported Wednesday that her pack- age, which was delivered to her mail box on Baker Road, was stolen sometime Monday night. Walmart Supercenter on Luther Road: At approxi- mately 12:03p.m., officers were dispatched to Walmart regarding a shopli ing report. Officers located the suspect, Nathan Tolbert, 33, of Red Bluff, in the Raley's parking lot. He was in pos- session of stolen merchan- dise. Tolbert was arrested and released with his prom- ise to appear in court. The stolen property was later returned to Walmart. Vandalism North Street, Corning: A woman reported Wednesday that someone ransacked her green Chevy truck and her Chevy Equinox sometime during the night. Nothing appeared to be missing. 700block of Vallecito Way: At 7:54a.m. officers responded to a reported broken vehicle window. Sometime during the night, an unknown subject broke the rear window out of a vehicle. POLICE LOGS Red Bluff Emblem Club continues to give back to the community, in many ways. Through the fundraising ef- forts of the members, more than $16,000 was given this past year, for scholarships, to veterans groups, to pro- mote Americanism and lit- eracy and to aid many in need. Each year for the past 20 years, and again this year, the club has given a $2,000 scholarship through the California Nevada Hawaii State Association to a grad- uate student, with studies to become a teacher for the deaf and hard of hearing. This year the club gave an additional $1,000 schol- arship to a very deserving local student, selected from one of the four Tehama County high schools. The club contributes to the Supreme Scholar- ship Fund each year, and through its selection pro- cess, has contributed an- other $1,000 scholarship to a worthy graduate of Te- hama County schools each year. Bonnie Lewis, retiring club president, presented a check for $1,500 to Jenni- fer Ragsdale, manager of the Sale House, operated by PATH. Contributions were made in aid of veterans through the Fregoso Foundation, PTSD dog training pro- gram, and the Cheny Fam- ily Military Support Group. Other local donations were sent to, Lord's Table, Tehama County Drug and Alcohol, Tehama County Crippled Children and Adults, Hospice through the Mercy Foundation, Friends of the Library, PETS, State Theatre, Ronald McDonald House and the local Elks Lodge. Each year the ladies of this ambitious Club bake hundreds of cookies which are donated wherever there is a need as well as to the monthly Blood Drive at the Veteran's Hall in Red Bluff. We give a hearfelt thank you to the following Asso- ciations that offer us these fund raising privileges. Red Bluff Elk's Lodge, Red Bluff Round Up Assoc, Ju- nior Rodeo Committee, Te- hama County District Fair, to name a few, as well as the members of the Tehama County populace that con- tinue to give us their gra- cious support. Re d Bl uff g ro up c on tr ib ut es t o co mm un it y EMBLEM CLUB CONTRIBUTED PHOTO Bonnie Lewis, retiring club president, presents a check for $1,500from the Red Bluff Emblem Club, to Jennifer Ragsdale, manager of the Sale House. Smog Check (MOST CARS & PICK-UPS) 527-9841 • 195 S. 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