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6C Daily News – Monday, September 26, 2011 FEATURES Onus on octogenarian's offspring Dear Annie: Ten months ago, I was in the hospital and was not expected to live. Fortunate- ly, I recovered. Unfortu- nately, I had given power of attorney to my children. My oldest daughter had my mail forwarded to her and took over the finances. All the kids cleaned out my house, taking what they or their children wanted and selling what was left with- out telling me what hap- pened to it. They sold my house at auction for less than we paid for it 25 years ago. I said it was a lousy time to be selling, but they wanted to get rid of the house before winter. I was in no condition to take care of things for a couple of months, so I am now in an assisted-living facil- ity with my clothes and very few possessions. Anytime I want money from my savings, I have to ask my daughter. She only gives me the mail she thinks I should get. I am dependent on friends to take me places. I finally wrote to my favorite magazine publishers, asking them to send the magazines directly to the assisted-living facility. Now my daughter is upset, saying I'm unap- preciative of all they did for me. I thanked them each time they came to visit or did anything special. Evi- dently, that is not enough. I know I am better off than some of the people here. One woman was released from the hospital and didn't even have any clothes because her son had gotten rid of everything. Now what? — Unhappy 80- Year-Old Woman Dear Unhappy: When Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar loved ones are frightened, they often do surprisingly unkind things in an attempt to be protective. In your case, however, it is interfer- ing with your independence and creating resentment on all sides. Does your assist- ed-living facility have an ombuds- man or social worker on staff? Talk to someone there, and perhaps ask for a mediation session with your children to see if you can work through this. Dear Annie: My teenage son's girlfriend often picks him up for dates since she drives and he does- n't. When she pulls into the drive- way, she sits in the car and honks the horn for him to come out. My son told her that we regard this as rude, and that she should get out of the car and come to the door. Instead of showing respect by com- plying, she took a poll of her co- workers, and apparently, the major- ity feel it is perfectly OK to honk the horn this way. Am I hopelessly old-fashioned, or is this now considered acceptable behavior? — Honking Mad Dear Mad: This is still not acceptable behavior. It's OK to honk if you are the carpool driver, but not for a date. What does your teenage son think of a girlfriend who is so disrespectful that she would justify behaving in a manner that his parents find objectionable? It does not speak well of her. Dear Annie: This is for ''Trapped in Vermont,'' the 45-year- old woman with an alcoholic hus- band who refuses to get sober. I could have written that letter. My husband insisted he didn't have a drinking problem because he did- n't drink in front of me. He also said that everything wrong in our mar- riage was my fault. I am now 70, and my divorce will be final soon. When I finally realized that I might live 20 more years and didn't want to spend it with a drunk, I decided to get out. How I wish I had done it at 45. Please tell her that it is never too late to start a new life. — Not Trapped Anymore Dear Readers: Today is Family Day (casafamilyday.org). Studies show that children who eat dinner with their parents have a reduced risk of substance abuse. Please try to make meals a family event. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Fall is time to aerate, fertilize, seed (MCT) — If your lawn is ragged and tired looking from the hot, dry summer, fall is the time to get it back into good shape. Now through Thanks- giving is the season to aer- ate, seed and fertilize your cool-season fescue grass so roots grow deep and healthy while tempera- tures are moderate. Spring is the wrong time for major lawn care because your shallow-rooted new grass will struggle when summer's scorching tem- peratures arrive. Tired from mowing grass all summer? Think of fall lawn care as the efficient way to get your recommended 10,000 daily steps done toward a healthy heart while beauti- fying your property at the same time. To aerate, use a core- type aerator that removes 2- to 3-inch plugs of soil. This allows air and water MCT photo LazyMan's Soil Doctor is a one-step lawn and garden program applied with a hose-end sprayer. to penetrate the soil, espe- cially if it's compacted or clay heavy. Don't worry about the plugs lying on 16,000 print distribution Full insert to The Daily News, Direct mailed to non- subscribing households, distribution through hotels, restaurants and visitor information centers through May, 2012. top of the lawn because rain will break them down. For organic fertilizer, apply a { to 1-inch layer of aged compost before or after you aerate. The healthier your soil, the healthier your grass. Good soil is filled with microor- ganisms, worms and other beneficial life forms, so resist the urge to use lawn chemicals that will ruin this natural balance. Seed after you've put down the compost and aer- ated. Keep the seed moist until it germinates and water when there is no rainfall. Try to wait 30 days before mowing new grass. Looking for the lazy way out? The Lazyman Soil Doctor program does most of your fall lawn care in one easy step. All you need is a hose-end sprayer to apply the all-natural product that includes: _Polymers that pene- trate hard soil and alter- nately attract or repel water molecules, opening pathways to admit free passage of moisture and nutrients. _Microbes that feed on the dead plant tissue of the thatch layer at the soil sur- face, thereby reducing that problem buildup. Thatch- ing, or removing that buildup, is not necessary if you use a mulching mower and cut often so the grass clippings are small and can readily decompose to return nutrients and mois- ture back into your soil. _Humic acids that stim- ulate plants and soil microbes, and mycor- rhizae that attach to roots and help plants absorb more water and nutrients while in turn feeding themselves on plant sap. To learn more about lawn care the LazyMan way, visit www.outside- pride.com. ___ Kathy Van Mullekom is home and gardening columnist and writer of the weekly "Diggin' In" column at the Daily Press in Newport News, Va. Follow her blog at roomandyard.com/diggin; email: kvanmullekom@dailypre ss.com Why am I writing this column? Regular readers of this space are familiar with the Ask Dr. Gott col- umn. This is the first of a new column: Ask Doctor K. Like Dr. Gott, I will respond to reader questions. I hope you will find my comments as help- ful as Dr. Gott's were. Ask Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. I'm a practicing doctor. I see and treat patients, and am a professor at Harvard Medical School. I am also responsible for all of our school's newsletters, special health reports and books about health for the general public. Why am I writing this column? A patient of mine once surprised me by ask- ing: "You take my medical history, you examine my body, you order tests and prescribe treatments. So what's the most important thing you do for a patient?" No one had ever asked me that question. I hadn't asked it myself. So I had to think for a minute. Then I told the patient: "The most important thing I do is explain — explain what I think is wrong, and why, and explain what needs to be done, and why." I'm writing this column because I believe in the power of information to improve people's health. In the years since I went to medical school, two hugely important things have occurred. The first is that medical science has progressed much faster than most doctors expected. What once was science fic- tion is now reality. For example, we can see deep inside your body without touching you. We can deter- mine whether you have a particular genetic defect and treat it. The second important thing is that scientific studies (many of them conducted at Harvard) have revealed how pow- erful lifestyle changes are in lengthening life and making those added years healthy ones. You've almost surely heard that "eating right" and regular exercise are good for you. That's not news. What might be news is just how good they are for you. Did you know, for exam- ple, that specific changes in your diet and regular exer- cise can reduce your risk of getting the most common kind of diabetes by 70 per- cent? No medicine yet invented can do that for you. But you can do it for your- self. You can send questions to me through my website: AskDoctorK.com. You also can mail them to me in care of Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106. I won't be able to answer all the questions that are sent to me, but I'll do the best I can. I can't offer any specific medical advice, of course: Only your doctor knows you well enough to do that. Instead, I want to provide information that you can use to protect your health, and to deal with symptoms and dis- eases. I also want to tell you about the amazing new dis- coveries that can help you and your family — new treatments that are available today, or will be soon. I really look forward to answering your questions. Through my website, I will welcome your comments and suggestions as to how I'm doing. Tomorrow, we'll begin. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Thanks for oil-tank experience (MCT) — What I like most about "Your Place" is the sense of community it engenders. When one reader needs help and I appeal for assis- tance, I'm usually overwhelmed with e-mail that, taken together, often solves the problem. In this case, the reader was told that the 275-gallon oil tank in his basement needed to be replaced because of rust, but he had no idea how a new, proper-size tank could be squeezed down the stairs. I received five detailed e-mails in 48 hours. The first: "Several years ago I had a similar problem with my fuel-oil tank. "I had some tank repair people come out. They pumped the tank out, turned it over where it stood, sand- ed it well, and applied fiberglass. They then painted the tank, turned it over, and returned the oil to the tank. Prob- lem solved." No. 2, from Kevin McGovern: "The contractor cut up the old tank to go out the door, and found an older, empty one hiding under the stairs. My doorway and stairs from the basement to an outside door had been modified from the original house. Once all the old tanks — no oil leaking, of course, since they were properly drained first — were removed, the contractor was able to fit through the openings two 137 {-gallon new tanks. He set them up, balanced them, and connected them to my furnace." No. 3, from John Heyser: "I own many tanks, and they probably all have rust on the bottom. I would light- ly sand the tank and spray with a Rust-oleum paint. The tank will not all of a sudden fall apart, so just look for weeping. "Not knowing what the staircase looks like, possibly We invite you to join us in our mission by supporting Think Pink and helping to spread the word about the importance of early detection. October - 3, 10, 17, 24, 31 DEADLINE: 2 DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION New content for readers each run. Color Advertising Deadline: Friday, Sept. 30 Full $29 (a box for all 5 pages) Box size: 2.5" x 2.5" (square) $39 (1 box) Contact your Daily News advertising representative at (530) 527-2151 to place your ad today! D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY Run Dates they could remove a portion of staircase and lift the tank out. A 275-gallon tank is about 72 inches long, 22 inch- es wide, and 45 inches high. On end, they take up no more room than a man, and will go very easily through a door." "If the present tank remains, it should have the inside bottom cleared of any water. The oil company can test to see if there is water on the bottom and remove it. One of the ways to remove water is by adding an emulsifier to the fuel to get rid of the moisture. On an outside tank, that should be done every year." No. 4, from Rose Webster: "We had the same problem about 25 years ago. We had a 225-gallon oil tank behind a wall in our finished basement. It began to leak oil from rusted-out holes at the bottom of the tank. It was a horror, and the smell was horrendous. Someone from New Jersey recommended by our oil company came and drained it, turned it upside down (after we tore down the drywall), and relined the bottom with fiberglass and gave us a 20-to-25-year war- ranty." "Last summer we decided to convert to gas heat, but we had no more problems with the tank after that repair." No. 5, from David Horowitz: "Pryco (www.pryco.com) and Roth (www.roth-usa.com) make small oil tanks that may squeeze down his stairs."