Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/367522
Dear Mary: My wife and I made a ter- rible mis- take and bought a house that I don't think we can af- ford. We dumped all of our money from the sale of our last home into it and now we have run out of money. It is not even close to being done. My wife is a stay-at-home mother of three and I work full time. I bring home about $5,500 per month with a house payment of $2,230. We have a $442 car pay- ment and credit card min- imum payments of about $250. My wife has student loans of around $26,000 with payments of $293 per month. We have moved my old- est son to six different homes in eight years, but he has remained in the same school. My wife says we cannot sell this house under any circumstance because of fear of damag- ing him. Also, she is em- barrassed and does not want anyone to know that we got in over our heads. She has always dreamed of having a big beautiful home, and I want to give this to her because she de- serves it. I need help. I have never been so scared. On one hand I feel this is unsustainable, and on the other I am scared of losing my family if I tell them we can't afford to live here. Dear Jeff: You are right. Devoting 60 percent of your net income to debt is unsustainable. Your ship is about to capsize. You have a choice to go down with this sinking ship along with all of your passengers or move quickly to get ev- eryone into a lifeboat and safely to shore. Find someone to take care of the kids for a few hours and get your wife out of the house. Go to a quiet place where you can talk uninterrupted. Put your emotions aside and lay it all out. You can- not afford this house. You must sell it. Each day you delay brings you one day closer to foreclosure and bankruptcy. Your wife is not your lit- tle princess; you are not her sugar daddy. She is your financial partner. To- gether, you made one co- lossal mistake. You went absolutely house crazy. You let someone else (Re- altor? lender?) tell you on how much house you could afford. Jeff, you cannot con- tinue to live in fear — fear of your wife being em- barrassed, fear of not giv- ing her the home she's al- ways dreamed of, fear that you'll ruin an 8-year-old forever if he has to move again, fear that if you tell the truth you will lose your family. Put your emotions aside and face facts. Trust your wisdom, step up and take a leadership role in this family. Eventually they will respect you for it. Dear Mary: I have two credit card debts $15,989 at 9.24 percent and $12,619 at 9.00 per- cent. I received a check from an inheritance for $12,370. Should I pay some on both accounts or lump the whole amount on one? I currently am able to pay $400 a month towards each balance. We have $650,000 in retirement ac- counts and both of us con- tribute 15 percent to our 401k plans. Thanks! — Sandy Dear Sandy: Pay off that smaller balance. Come up with the additional $300 or so from somewhere and get it paid in full. Start making $800 monthly payments to the remain- ing balance. You'll be debt- free in about 20 months. Put those cards away and do not add another nickel in new purchases. Happy for this windfall, sorry it has to go to pay debt. MaryHuntisthefounder of www.DebtProofLiving. com, a personal finance member website. You can email her at mary@eve- rydaycheapskate.com, or write to Everyday Cheap- skate, P.O. Box 2099, Cy- press, CA 90630. EVERYDAYCHEAPSKATE When the ship is sinking, get in the lifeboat Mary Hunt The following parenting education opportunities will be offer in September. For more information, visit www.tehamaschools.org/ department/school-readi- ness. RedBluffFarmersMar- ket:5-8p.m.Wednesdays. Talk to local producers, learn what is grown locally and receive tips on how to prepare fresh fruit and veg- gies at home. Visit Tehama Reads booth and receive a free children's book. Car Seat Safety: 1-3 p.m. in English and 3-5 p.m. in Spanish Sept. 25 at 1860Walnut St., Red Bluff. Public Health, in col- laboration with California Highway Patrol, is offering car seat safety classes. All Tehama County residents are welcome to attend. Participants can purchase a car seat for $25. Classes are limited to 15partici- pants. Call Tehama County Public Health at 527-6824 to reserve a spot. School Readiness: Now serving Red Bluff fami- lies at Jackson Heights Elementary, 225Jackson St. Services include home visits using Parents as Teachers curriculum, so- cialization activities, Posi- tive Parenting classes, kits for new parents and free for pregnant women or families with children younger than 3, resources and refer- rals to medical, dental and preschool services Daily Early Learning Activities: Monday: Story hour at Corning Library, 740Third St. 10a.m., Tuesday: Play Group at Los Molinos First Steps Center, 7700Stanford Ave. 10a.m., Wednesday: Story Hour at Red Bluff Library, 645Madison St. 9:30 a.m., Thursday: Play Group at West St. School, 1480 South St., 10a.m., Friday: Play Group at Jackson Heights School, 225Jack- son St., Room 21. 10a.m. Your preschool age child can have an early learning experience every day of the week. For more information, call (530) 384-7833or (530) 824-4111. Nurturing Parent Classes in English and Spanish: Nurturing Parenting is a proven program for parents and their children that is internationally recognized for enhancing self worth, empathy, discipline and empowerment. Starting Sept. 9, 5-7p.m. Tuesdays at West Street Elemen- tary School. Dinner will be served and space is limited so RSVP Keith Barnett (530) 527-8491ext. 3012. ASSISTANCE Parentingeducationopportunities Today RED BLUFF California HEAT Chorus - Sweet Adelines: 7 p.m., Meteer School multipurpose room, 695 Kimball Road, 895-0139 Childbirth Class: 6:30- 8:30p.m., St. Elizabeth Community Hospital, Columba Room, 888-628- 1948 Community Action Agency: 3p.m. Board of Supervisors chambers Democratic Central Committee of Tehama County: 5:30p.m., Patio Room, Lariat Bowl, 365S. Main St. Fun Senior Aerobics: 8-9a.m., $1, Community Center, 1500S. Jackson St. 527-8177 Grief Support Group: 3p.m., St. Elizabeth Community Hospital, Coyne Center, Kristin, 528-4207 Imagination Train storyhour: 4p.m., Tehama County Library Kelly-Griggs House Museum: 1-3p.m., 311 Washington St., group tours by appointment, 527- 1129or 527-5895 Live country music, dinner: 5-7p.m., Veterans Hall Painting session, Red Bluff Art Association: 10a.m., Tehama District Fairground, 529-1603 PAL Martial Arts: 3-5 p.m., 1005Vista Way, Ste. C, ages 5-18, free, 529- 7950 Passages caregiver support group: 10a.m., Community and Senior Center, 1500S. Jackson St., 229-0878or 800995- 0878 Penny Bingo: 9:30a.m., Community Center, 1500S. Jackson St. Phoenix Community Support Group for chemical dependency: 11:30a.m., Presbyterian Church, 838Jefferson St., 945-2349 Pinochle for Seniors: 12:30-3:30p.m., 1500S. Jackson St., free, 527- 8177 Red Bluff Exchange Club: noon, M&M Ranch House, 645Antelope Blvd. #1 Red Bluff Joint Union High School District Board of Trustees: 5:30 p.m., 1525Douglas St. Red Bluff Lions Club: 6 p.m., Veterans Memorial, 527-6616 Red Cross Disaster Volunteers Meeting: 6-7:30p.m., CalFire headquarters, 604 Antelope Blvd., north side of Antelope, 934-5344 Reeds Creek School District Board of Trustees: 4:40p.m. Rock Choir: 4p.m., 601 Monroe St., free, all welcome Sacramento River Discovery Center Thursday Evening Program: 7p.m., 1000Sale Lane, 527-1196 Senior Chair Volleyball: 1p.m. Community Center, 1500S. Jackson St. Sunrise Speakers Toastmasters: noon, 220 Sycamore St. Support group for pet loss: 2p.m., Family Service Agency, 1347Grant St., 527-6782 Swinging Squares Square Dance Club: 7 p.m., Community Center, 1500S. Jackson St., beginner or review classes, 529-1615 Tehama County Health Planning Council, noon: Elks Lodge, 355Gilmore Road Tehama County Planning Commission: 9a.m., board chambers, 745Oak St. Widowed Persons Dinner: 5p.m., call 384- 2471for location CORNING Cal-Fresh and Healthy Family Appointments: 1-3p.m., Family Resource Center, 1488South St., 824-7670 Corning High School Board: 7p.m., 643 Blackburn Ave. Corning Patriots: 6p.m., Senior Center, 824-2332 Dance with Juana: noon to 1p.m., Family Resource Center, 1488South St., 824-7670 Dual Diagnosis Group: 1:30-3p.m., 1600Solano St., 527-8491, Ext. 3309 ESL/Citizenship classes: 9a.m.-11a.m., Family Resource Center, West and South streets, 824- 7670 Improved Order of Red Men: 7p.m. Independent Grange 470, 20945 Corning Road, 824-1114 Sewing group: 9a.m., Family Resource Center, West and South streets, 824-7670 Soccer training: 4-6p.m., except for holidays and rain, Woodson School Soccer Field, 150N Toomes, 824- 7680 Women's Support Group: 6p.m., Family Resource Center, West and South streets, 824- 7670 LOS MOLINOS Diabetes Support Group: 1p.m., Sherwood Manor Community Room, 7975 Sherwood Blvd. Los Molinos Unified School Board: 7p.m., Los Molinos High School cafeteria GERBER Gerber-Las Flores Community Service District: 5:30p.m. 331San Benito Ave. MINERAL Mineral School Board: 5 p.m., 38355Scenic Ave. Friday RED BLUFF Celebrate Recovery: 7 p.m., Bethel Assembly of God, 625Luther Road, 527-0445or 366-6298 Red Bluff Rotary Club Sunrise: 7a.m., M&M Ranch CORNING Car Show: 5-9p.m., Bartel's Giant Burger, 22355Corning Road, local car clubs welcome, 824- 2788 Nutrition Classes: 11:30 a.m. to 1p.m., 175Solano St., 824-7670 COTTONWOOD Singles Friendship Social: 7-8:30p.m., at a church we rent, Assembly of God Church, 20404Gas Point Road, for unmarried adults ages late 30s to mid 60s, 347-3770 CALENDAR TheRedBluffDerbyGirlstookontheFloodWaterRollerDerbyattheTehamaCountyFairgroundsJune21asa fundraiser, with a portion of the proceeds donated to Tehama County Police Activities League. At PAL's monthly board of directors meeting on July 17, members of the Derby Girls presented a check in the amount of $300. Pic- tured, from le , are Beth of Death (Elizabeth Smith), Jeannette Wilson, Bella Morte (Brandy Peterson); PAL Trea- surer Kathy Hausman, Chief Don Atkins, Dirty Aught Smith (Amanda Smith) and Lo Down Dirty (Lauren Leak). DONATION 'Derby Girls' donate to PAL COURTESY PHOTO Lic#884536 527-2844 ATTENTION: ATTENTION: DO-IT-YOURSELFERS, HOMEOWNERS, DO-IT-YOURSELFERS, HOMEOWNERS, LANDSCA PERS LAND SCAPE RS Need Woodchips for landscaping projects? N e e d W o o d c h i p s f o r l a n d s c a p i n g p r o j e c t s ? $ $ 1 5 0 1 5 0 . 0 0 . 0 0 A L o a d A L o a d F o r T h e B e s t W o o d c h i p s I n T h e W e s t F o r T h e B e s t W o o d c h i p s I n T h e W e s t C a l l T o S c h d e u l e Y o u r D e l i v e r y C a l l T o S c h d e u l e Y o u r D e l i v e r y Kristaat602-702-9086orMarcyat1-800-888-9040(TollFree) or e-mail us at info@world-heritage.org Imaginewhatyourlife would look like if you were completely debt free. Dave Ramsey's FINANCIALPeace UNIVERSITY is designed to help you beat debt, build wealth and live like never before. So, start dreaming big because here's some great news! Financial Peace classes are starting soon at THEPRESBYTERIANCHURCH OF RED BLUFF, 838 Jefferson Street. Don'tmissoutonthis. Sunday Evenings September 7 - November 2 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. Cost: $93/individual or couple plus $9.30 shipping & handling Register at http://www.pcredbluff.org/ or by calling the church office (527-0372) LIFESTYLES » redbluffdailynews.com Thursday, August 21, 2014 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A4