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4B Daily News – Friday, December 27, 2013 FEATURES No cure for MS, but How to tell my sister she smells of kitty litter? I am the mother of a child on the 20 years when my husband Dear Annie: One of treatments can help sisters has agolovely cat, my left me for another woman. autism spectrum. While his autism but At first, I was upset, but in is very mild and would not ruin when we somewhere symptoms sudDEAR DOCdenly get worse TOR K: I was are called relapsrecently diages. They alternate nosed with relapswith periods ing remitting mulwhen symptoms tiple sclerosis. improve, called Can you tell me remissions. about my treatThere is no ment options? Dr. K cure for MS, but DEAR READtreatments do ER: Multiple by Anthony L. sclerosis (MS) is Komaroff, M.D. exist. One type of treatment works a disabling illness that affects the brain and to suppress the disease; spinal cord and worsens the other type improves over time. MS damages specific symptoms of nerve cells and a sub- MS. Treatments that supstance that is wrapped around the nerve cells, press the disease include: — Corticosteroid called myelin. A nerve cell functions like a cop- drugs are most often used per wire — it transmits for MS relapses. They electrical signals. Myelin shorten the length of is like the insulation sur- relapses and may speed rounding a wire. It helps up recovery from an the electrical signal get attack. — Interferons are a transmitted down the nerve cell. When myelin type of protein. They is damaged, that trans- reduce the frequency of relapses, and they may mission is interrupted. MS is an autoimmune slow the worsening of disease: The damage symptoms. — Glatiramer acetate comes from an activated immune system. Immune blocks cells that damage system cells and possibly myelin. The drug may immune system chemi- also reduce the frequency cals called antibodies of relapses. — Monoclonal antiattack the myelin. The immune system's func- bodies block immune tion is to attack foreign cells from entering the invaders, such as various brain and spinal cord. germs. For reasons no This may prevent damone understands, the age. Rarely, these drugs immune system attacks can provoke a potentially fatal brain disease. part of the body instead. Your doctor may also The areas in the brain and spinal cord where the prescribe medications to immune system attacks treat specific symptoms develop what are called of MS. For example, plaques — areas of treatments can improve inflammation and lost fatigue, muscle tightness myelin. The plaques can and spasms, bladder dysbe seen on imaging stud- function, and neurologiies, particularly magnetic cal symptoms such as resonance imaging seizures. When I went to med(MRI) scans. The disruption of ical school, there was litnerve signals can cause a tle understanding of variety of symptoms. For what caused MS, and example, MS may cause there also was no way of (usually temporary) loss seeing inside the brain of vision or double and spinal cord to diagvision, loss of coordina- nose it. There were few tion, hand trembling, effective treatments. A extreme fatigue, inability lot of progress has been to move parts of the made, but much more is body, and inability to feel needed. pain or touch. Dr. Komaroff is a There are several physician and professor types of MS, and they Harvard Medical vary by how they at To send progress. The most com- School. questions, go to mon is relapsing remitAskDoctorK.com, or ting MS, the type you have. In relapsing remit- write: Ask Doctor K, 10 ting MS, symptoms come Shattuck St., Second and go. Periods when Floor, Boston, MA 02115. the intervening years, I have with her, the kitty litter changed my mind. Please odor is overwhelming. It print this for her: clings to her clothing and Dear Other Woman: I follows her everywhere. bet you thought you were My sister is highly sensitive the winner when my husto criticism, so we haven't approached her about this. Annie's band left to be with you. You have dealt with his drinking, She probably doesn't notice pot smoking, heart disease, the smell because she lives by Kathy Mitchell emphysema, baldness, with the odor every day. We think she might be and Marcy Sugar toothless smile, erectile dysfunction and bad moods. storing the sacks of unused litter in her closet with her coats, You had to support him because he etc., and this is why it is so notice- was chronically unemployed, and able. She is an avid reader of your now you are his nursemaid 24/7. Because of you, I have had the column, so we are hoping she will see this and realize the odor can be freedom to love, live and travel. I controlled if she simply keeps the also drive a new car and paid off a litter stored in her garage. — Con- home he didn't want. I have enjoyed children and grandchildren. I thank cerned Sister Dear Concerned: Most unused you. You may have saved my life. Women, if you think that man kitty litter doesn't have such a distinctive odor that it would be terri- you want who belongs to someone bly noticeable, but nonetheless, it else is a real prize, you haven't seen should not be stored near clothing, the whole picture. — Grateful because clothes can absorb the odor Granny Dear Granny: We appreciate of whatever is nearby. It's also possible your sister keeps the actual lit- your voice of experience. More ter box in her bedroom or closet, or importantly, you have underscored perhaps she doesn't clean it as often that having a man in your life does not determine your level of happias she should. We understand that she is sensi- ness. Too many women believe othtive to criticism, but don't you think erwise. Dear Annie: I am responding to she would want to know that other people can smell her? Please bite ''Not Unsympathetic,'' whose the bullet and speak up. Tell her you granddaughter's birthday parties are ''ruined'' by a 6-year-old autistic are sure she'd want to know. Dear Annie: I was married for stepgrandson. Mailbox Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Borrow only what you know you can repay Over the past months, I've been sharing an overview of my basic money rules. There are seven of them, and today we look at the last one. Rule 7 insures you have a safety net when borrowing money. It is unrealistic to flat-out ban borrowing money from our lives. I am grateful for a home mortgage. Without it, my husband and I would not have had a prayer of owning our home. And I don't believe that financing an automobile is evil or that all student debt is toxic. Borrowing money and the debt that it creates should be taken on rarely, and then dealt with swiftly. Debt should be a means to an end. Borrowing money is a financial tool that improves your life if dealt with intelligently, not emotionally. The rule is to borrow only what you know you can repay. When I use the word "know," I do not mean with-absolute-certainty-beyond-areasonable-doubt know. I mean to know as in having a reasonable certainty based on credible information. Another way to put it would be "borrow only what you have a reasonable certainty based upon credible information that you can repay," which seems awkward. So let's but it should be done advisedly and stick with "know" in this rule, with tremendous caution. Debt of knowing that we know what any kind should be seen as a shortterm situation that always has an it means. The following guidelines accompanying aggressive payment plan. apply to all forms Debt should never be of borrowing -- all seen as ideal, but rather as forms of debt. a reasonable means to an 1. Borrow the least end. Being debt free is you can get by with to ideal, and the goal for achieve your intended which you should be result, not the most that reaching with all the deterthe lender will approve. mination and strength you Never let a lender deterhave. mine how much you Want to get up to speed should borrow. Mortgage on all seven simple money lenders will try to nudge rules for life? You'll find you into the "most house Mary them in my book, "7 you can qualify for," not Money Rules for Life." the house you can afford. If you missed reading 2. Repay debt quickly, about Rules 1-6, visit my rather than stretching it blog at EverydayCheapout as far as possible. skate.com and click on Opt for the largest payMary's Perspective. ment you can handle, not the smallest the lender Mary Hunt is the founder of will approve. 3. Have an escape plan. You www.DebtProofLiving.com and need to have a plan in mind to pay author of 23 books, including her off the debt early in the event that 2012 release, "7 Money Rules for life takes an unexpected turn, either Life." You can email her at by selling the collateral or paying mary@everydaycheapskate.com, the debt with other resources or or write to Everyday Cheapskate, P.O. Box 2099, Cypress, CA assets. Borrowing money is not wrong, 90630. Years after holiday slayings, traditions help heal LOS ANGELES (AP) — Five years after a man dressed as Santa Claus massacred nine members of her family on Christmas Eve, the surviving daughter of the Ortega clan worked to master her mother's pozole recipe to serve at a traditional family dinner that's now forever tinged with tragedy. The recipe was one from Leticia Yuzefpolsky's childhood and a reminder of festive meals she hadn't enjoyed since Bruce Pardo walked through the door of her parents' home outside Los Angeles five years ago, killed her family and burned the place down. In a matter of minutes, Yuzefpolsky lost nearly everyone she'd looked up to: her parents, two brothers and two sisters. Her two sistersin-law and 17-year-old nephew also died. But she was far from alone in her losses. Thirteen sons and daughters lost at least one parent that night in Covina, a suburb about 20 miles northeast of Los Angeles. Yuzefpolsky, the youngest of five children, became the reluctant matriarch, maintaining the tight-knit family's traditions and happier memories. The remaining family meets for dinner, exchanges gifts and shares memories. A Christmas Day trip to church now is followed by a trip to the cemetery. Pardo, her former brother-inlaw, had carried a small arsenal of guns and fuel to torch the family's home that Christmas Eve. It was part of a plan triggered by his ex-wife's decision to divorce him. An FBI profile found that family gatherings, I am sensitive to his issues. Many times, autistic children have a meltdown because the stimulation is too much for them. The sounds, smells and noise produce a fight-or-flight response. That is not the same thing as a tantrum, in which children become unruly because they aren't getting their way. The stepgrandson isn't going to the party with the intent of ruining it. Try to imagine a situation in which the noise is too much, the colors too bright, the smells overwhelming, and there are some alien rules of behavior that you don't understand. Try to hold it together under those circumstances at the age of 6. When we're out with our son, we do our best to anticipate what might cause a meltdown and try to avoid it. But sometimes we don't know what's going to trigger it. Your advice to have a separate family party sounds like a good start. — Not Unsympathetic to the Child his actions were likely spurred by extreme narcissism and obsessive compulsive disorder. When Pardo was severely burned in the attack, he ditched his elaborate getaway plan and killed himself with a gunshot to the mouth. Meanwhile, Yuzefpolsky's family scrambled to pick up the pieces. With his parents dead, one nephew became the guardian of his three minor siblings. Yuzefpolsky and her husband took in her sister's youngest daughter. Her then-8-year-old daughter Katrina was wounded by a gunshot to the cheek after Santa came to the door. Yuzefpolsky worked to save Christmas for her kids — telling them that wasn't the real Santa — and calling friends from the hospital to make sure gifts were put under their tree. The kids were later sent to a camp that helps with grief. For Yuzefpolsky, now 41, years of therapy have helped, though she still suffers from some anxiety and nightmares. ''I lost my identity completely,'' Yuzefpolsky said. ''I always used to tease them that I have five sets of parents ... everyone telling me what to do and how to do it. I can't even tell you how much I miss them.'' An overwhelming but hard-todescribe feeling of loss often sneaks up on her, especially in December. ''Everywhere you turn there are memories of what we used to have, and then memories of that night. You can't escape it,'' Yuzefpolsky said. Christmas ''will always be there, and we continue to celebrate it.'' The family has been especially touched by others' tragedies, particularly during the holidays. When a Connecticut woman lost her three daughters and parents in a house fire two years ago, Yuzefpolsky encouraged her daughters to write letters to the woman. Last year, when a gunman killed 20 children and six adults at a Newtown school, they again wrote letters. ''Katrina usually writes: 'It'll be hard, but just have hope. Don't give up,''' Yuzefpolsky said. That's most likely the family's abiding message. ''We have to keep moving in our everyday moments,'' she said. ''There are those moments we think we've been through the worst so this cannot break us.'' For the small Covina Police Department, whose officers responded to one of Los Angeles County's worst mass murders, memories also persist. The 10 detectives who worked the case all remain with the department. Some of them sometimes swing by the now-empty lot where the murders took place, sure they can still smell the smoke in the air. The case — with its house fire, many crime scenes and multiple victims on a rainy holiday — has proven to be a teachable moment for other departments around the country. And though the active investigation wrapped up roughly three years ago, the department continues to keep in touch with family and survivors pursuing leads and following up on details — especially around Christmas. Hunt Everyday Cheapskate New tax guide for 2013 WASHINGTON — Taxpayers can get the most out of various tax benefits and get a jump on preparing their 2013 federal income tax returns by consulting a newly revised comprehensive tax guide now available on IRS.gov. Publication 17, Your Federal Income Tax, features details on taking advantage of a wide range of tax-saving opportunities, such as the American Opportunity Tax Credit for parents and college students, and the Child Tax Credit and Earned Income Tax Credit for low- and moderate-income workers. It also features a rundown on tax changes for 2013 including information on revised tax rates and new limits on various tax benefits for some taxpayers. This useful 292-page guide also provides thousands of interactive links to help taxpayers quickly get answers to their questions. Publication 17 has been published annually by the IRS since the 1940s and has been available on the IRS web site since 1996. As in prior years, this publication is packed with basic tax-filing information and tips on what income to report and how to report it, figuring capital gains and losses, claiming dependents, choosing the standard deduction versus itemizing deductions, and using IRAs to save for retirement. Besides Publication 17, IRS.gov offers many other helpful resources for those doing year-end tax planning. Many 2013 forms are already posted, and updated versions of other forms, instructions and publications are being posted almost every day. Forms already available include Form 1040 and short Forms 1040A and1040EZ. Oh Snap! The Daily News wants your photos: Cute kids, Adorable pets, Inspirational sights, Any shot you think readers would enjoy You might just see it in the Daily News Send pictures to editor@redbluffdailynews.com or drop off at 545 Diamond Ave. in Red Bluff. Include a caption.