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Tuesday, September 7, 2010 – Daily News – 3B FEATURES Delayed denial, dispair developes Medical woes plague young reader Dear Annie: I read with interest the letter from ‘ ‘Michigan Molly,’’ whose friends invite themselves to her summer home. My best friend, ‘‘Sherri,’’ and her husband own a cottage in northern Michi- gan. Every sum- mer, she invites my fami- ly to spend a couple of weeks with them. I always make sure to help with laundry, dishes and food when we visit. Over the winter, my husband spent a lot of time help- ing them renovate the cottage. My son absolutely loves it there, and I’ve come to know many of the summer res- idents and look forward to seeing them. Months ago, Sherri invited my son and me for a week in early August because she wanted my help with some event. Two days before, I saw Sherri at a party, and she said she no longer needed me that week and I’d be up any- way a few weeks later. Annie, I totally under- stand that it is her cottage and she can invite or uninvite whoever she wants. However, I planned part of my sum- mer around this week and turned down other opportunities for my children. What hurts the most is that my son won’t be able to experience a summer vacation that he really loves. He talks about going up there all the time. Her telling me two days before seems so callous that I’ve decided not to go back again. It’s like I’ve lost my best Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar friend, and my heart is breaking for my son. How do I deal with this? Please don’t tell me to talk with her. I’m not a good com- municator. — Sit- ting at Home in Michigan Dear Michi- gan: You are interpreting this much more harsh- ly than you need to. Sherri probably has no idea that you restructured your summer around her cottage invitation and assumed it was no big deal for you to skip that week. By not returning, you, not Sherri, are depriving your son of a wonderful experience. Either tell her it hurt you that she canceled at the last minute, or let it go and pretend it never hap- pened. Dear Annie: Several years ago, I married the man of my dreams. ‘‘Darren’’ was every- thing I wanted. He had three children, two from a previous marriage and one from an earlier rela- tionship. Darren told me all about his children before we married, and I appre- ciated his honesty. He gave me the option of ending our relationship if this was something I couldn’t handle. He allowed his oldest child to be adopted by her stepfather, and here’s what I couldn’t handle: While I was out shop- ping, someone who knew this child repeated a bit of information that dev- astated me. She said she thought there was sexual abuse going on. I imme- diately told Darren. Now, I am being chas- tised by a member of the clergy who said I should have kept quiet and treat- ed this information as gossip. Should I have? — Stepmom Dear Stepmom: Absolutely not. While it is terrible to accuse an innocent person of abuse, it is worse to allow a child to be abused because you are reluctant to speak out. Darren deserved to know what you heard so he could check out the informa- tion to see if there was any truth to it. Dear Annie: I am a 13-year-old girl and think I might have breast cancer. I looked at the signs online, and I’m scared. How can I bring this up to my mom? As far as I know, there’s no history of it in my family. — Worried in Arizona Dear Worried: We’re not sure why you think you have breast cancer. If you found a lump, please know that many are benign cysts and harm- less. However, it makes sense to have any anom- aly checked out by a physician. Bring this let- ter to your mom, and tell her you wrote it. And, Mom: Please make an appointment with a doc- tor so your daughter can rest easy knowing she is OK. We hope she is. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. DEAR DR. GOTT: Since childhood, I have been suffer- ing with tonsillitis, chronic colds and allergies — both seasonal and medication- induced. At the age of 24, I was diag- nosed with discoid lupus; at the age of 30, with fibromyal- gia, pleurisy, kidney stones/infection, vertigo, depression and anxiety. My ANA test for three years has come back normal, but I continue to get lesions, my hair falls out, and I get sick easily. I have been to two rheumatologists. Both say I do not have SLE, but my family doctor feels I do. What do you think? I was also told that because I only Dr. Peter Gott result of autoimmune disor- ders, such as lupus. Kidney stones and related infections have numerous causes, including dehydration, obesity, genetic factors and a diet high in protein/sugar/sodi- um. Vertigo can be caused by an inner-ear disorder, migraine headache, acoustic neuroma and other causes. Depression and anxiety can have discoid lupus, this would not cause any health problems other than with my skin and hair. So why do I have it in my nose and inside both ears? I’m now 33, my bones are brit- tle, and I have osteoarthritis in my hands and fingers. Help! DEAR READER: Whew, where to start? Some children have impaired immune systems, making them sub- ject to numerous disorders. My guess is that you were unfortunate enough to fall into that category. There are a number of forms of lupus, which is an autoimmune dis- ease. Lupus can affect joints, skin, kidneys, brain, heart, lungs and other parts of the body. Common symptoms include skin rash, kidney problems, arthritis and unexplained fever. Discoid lupus is a chronic skin dis- order that shows as a raised red rash that ordinarily appears on the face and scalp but can appear in other areas of the body, including the nose and ears. The lesions may last for days or years and can recur. Some people diagnosed with discoid lupus may develop sys- temic lupus erythematosus (SLE) at a later date. Because arthritis is a common com- plaint, it’s not at all surprising that you have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic pain in muscles and ligaments. Pleurisy is swelling of the lung lin- ings that causes pain and breathless- ness during inhalation and exhalation. Causes include acute viral infections, such as influenza, and can be the be caused by lupus, fibromyalgia, kid- ney stones and vertigo. You have a lot on your plate, and it has obviously resulted in a lot of stress. Osteoarthritis, a breakdown of car- tilage, causes pain and stiffness of affected joints. The condition is com- monly associated with the aging process, but at 33, you are far from old. Treatment is geared toward control- ling pain through medication, rest, exercise and protection of the affected joint(s). Because so many of your symp- toms involve pain, I’m inclined to suggest that you be referred to a pain clinic for control or request a referral to a larger diagnostic center, such as the Mayo Clinic. You will learn methods for reduc- ing the level of pain you presently experience that may include water aerobics and yoga. Appropriate med- ication might be ordered. Once you get that aspect under control, the anx- iety and stress levels you are under may be reduced. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Fibromyalgia.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 enve- lope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com.