Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM AUGUST 1-7, 2018 UCW 5 MARGARET DICKSON, Columnist. COMMENTS? Edi- tor@upandcomingweekly.com. 910-484-6200. Mysterious Melania by MARGARET DICKSON I have long been inter- ested in our nation's first ladies, beginning when I checked out a book on Abigail "remember the ladies" Adams from the library of the late, great Haymount Elementary School where Haymount 700 now stands. No matter what stage of our history or what political position she represents, each of our first ladies came to her unpaid position, whether she wanted it or not, only because her husband managed to get himself elected president. Each found herself in an unscripted position that is not exactly a job, but one that comes with high expectations from her fellow Americans. Some first ladies are better at "the job" than others. Dolley Madison pos- sessed social skills so strong that her husband, President James, basked in her reflected glory. A North Carolina native, Dolley Madison did not invent ice cream as legend has asserted, but she did serve oyster ice cream at the then-new White House. Edith Wilson became our de facto president after her husband suffered a debilitating stroke, allowing few others in to see him and "interpreting" and "relaying" his wishes herself. Jacqueline Kennedy became the most famous woman in the world and remains a glamorous fashion and so- cial icon more than two decades after her death. Betty Ford and Nancy Reagan helped us understand addiction and cancer. Hillary Clinton introduced us to the notion of policy wonks, and Michelle Obama taught us healthier and local eating habits. It is also fair to say that no first lady, at least in my lifetime, has been more mysterious than Melania Trump. One of only two first ladies born out- side the United States – Louisa Adams, Mrs. John Quincy, was born in Lon- don – Melania Trump began modeling in her native Slovenia at age 16 and became a U.S. citizen in 2006, a year after she married "the Donald," the nickname given our current president by a previous wife. Melania reportedly speaks six languages, English among them. Last year, she inexplicably wore a $51,500 jacket on a visit to Italy, a price tag just slightly under the median U.S. household income in 2017. She had a mysterious operation earlier this year and spent several days in a Washington, D.C., hospital. She mysteri- ously wore a jacket with "I really don't care do U" emblazoned on its back to visit immigrant chil- dren in cages along our Texas border. Her ongo- ing silence as the world chews over her husband's conversations about paying off women is ex- tremely curious. Even her signature program as first lady, BE BEST, is mysteri- ous, as no one has quite knows what it means. North Carolina humor- ist Celia Rivenbark wrote about our mysterious first lady in a recent col- umn that began with this. "Sometimes I wish I could sit down with Melania Trump over a box of KFC's new pickle- fried chicken tenders … and have a real just-us-girls conversation." So do I, Celia, so do I. Rivenbark went on in this vein. "Being beautiful and aloof will only get you so far. After a while, people want to shake that empty Valentino suit and see what's up. For example, why did she look so happy – a first – smiling radiantly while chatting with Obama at Barbara Bush's funeral? In contrast, when she stands beside her husband, she looks like someone who really has to pee but has just been told the next restroom is 90 minutes up the interstate." I am willing to cut Melania a bit more slack. It cannot be easy just being Mrs. Donald Trump. Layer on the pressures of the presidency, the lack of privacy for an obviously private person and the ill-defined but nevertheless real responsibilities of the first lady, and life has got to be tough for Melania. On the morning I am writing this column, the news is full of President Trump in full wackadoodle rage mode after discovering his wife's Air Force One television tuned to CNN in defi- ance of his presidential edict that all sets be tuned to his preferred network, Fox. In an unusual show of indepen- dence, the first lady's official spokes- person announced our first lady will watch "any channel she wants." Maybe Melania is not as mysterious as we think. OPINION Open letter to the Hope Mills mayor and commissioners: Lone Survivor Foundation by DEANNE GERDES I have been the executive direc- tor for Rape Crisis of Cumberland County for over 10 years. I have advocated for thousands of victims, soldiers, men, children, women, Hope Mills residents ... thousands. Last night, I attended your meeting in support of Lone Sur- vivor Foundation, and honestly, I was embarrassed about what I heard from some of you. It was at times very hard to follow what you were saying – a lake, kayaking for veterans being dropped off at a fire station, a recreation spot, a VFW, the list seemed to volley from one thing to another without making much sense. is is what I do know, last year we (Rape Crisis of Cumberland County) served 611 victims of sexual violence, 243 of those were active duty soldiers. at number does not include veterans, National Guard or reservists. eir stories happened down range, in the barracks, in your town, in your county. Our resources are extremely limited, and when LSF came to our attention, it was like a dream come true! An organization was actually going to help me help OUR soldiers in a healing way, for free?! I was ecstatic, but very cautious. I would not support, advocate (for) or refer my victims to just anyone. So I got involved, met with Morgan Sierra (and) Terry Jung, attended many of their informational meet- ings and researched LSF. Yet I was still not 100 percent convinced that I could look my victims in the eye and tell them that LSF was OK, and it was OK for them to trust them, share their story and bravely attend a retreat. But, one of my board members for RCCC had told me that she had gone, and it was a life- changing experience. My best friend, a vet, a city cop, a hardass guy, told me he was going (to an LSF retreat). I knew I would base my final decision on what he said. On the way to the airport after leaving the retreat, I got this text from him. "Reference vetting Lone Survivor Foundation, 100% yes ..." Trust me when I say this, there is no one else out there that is offering this level of care to take care of OUR soldiers who have been raped. No one. To turn LSF away from our com- munity when we so desperately need them is just ... wrong and completely unfathomable based on the reasons you gave last night. I commend LSF for trying to make this work, I would not blame them if they went to another community, a community who supported them and welcomed them. If that happens, I will invite you to meet with my victims, and you can explain to them that although help for them could have been in our backyard, you said no. You said no at a chance for OUR soldiers to heal and get well again. DEANNE GERDES, Executive Director, Rape Crisis of Cumberland County. COM- MENTS? Editor@upandcomin- gweekly.com. 910-484-6200. Melania Trump