CityView Magazine

on second thought closely observing how shoppers really handle merchandise, I have concluded that the first item is probably the safest one on the shelf. Picture a typical shopper looking at something she wants to I used to think that it was a bad idea for shop- pers to select the first item on a shelf because doing so would put them in contact with diabolical germs that would mutate into a plague of boils; however, aſter home and take a scalding hot shower. We know that the contents of the slightly opened package buy. Does she ever pick up the item in the front? OF COURSE NOT! She knows that it has already been contaminated by all the shoppers before her, so she bypasses it and goes straight were never removed because they are still inside, in perfect order, with the factory creases just as they were when the items were shipped to the store. Aſter all, every experienced shopper knows what happens to products when they are re- moved from their original container. The physics of ladies' underwear when removed from its packaging has been, for years, a subject too frightening for store managers to speak of, much less to deal with on a daily basis. Everyone knows that panties, when exposed to the stale Shopping anywhere and touching anything but the first item is a recipe for disaster, an invitation to bring the bubonic plague into your home. for the one at the back, which is sure to be safe from the clutches of kids with runny noses and unwashed hands. Con- fident of her germ-free selection, our shopper moves on, leav- ing the first item untouched, unopened, and as sanitary as a hospital operating room. But what about a package that has been partially opened? Is that one clean? Is it safe? OF COURSE IT IS! The previ- ous shopper only started to open the package, but for some reason she suddenly changed her mind. Wiping her hands with an antibacterial hand wipe carried for that very purpose, she placed the slightly opened, but even-cleaner-than-before package back on the shelf and hurried away, probably to go 16 | November/December • 2012 air of a shopping mall, expand exponentially so that they not only can't fit back into the package, but they can't be folded into any shape smaller than that of a tarp used to cover a foot- ball field. But what about those packages underneath the first one? Surely they are safe to purchase. OF COURSE NOT! They are the ones that everyone touches to avoid the unsanitary one on the top. Just imagine the dozens, even hundreds, of people holding those packages, turning them over and over in their unwashed, germ-laden hands, breathing on them, drooling on them, sneezing on them. Now, multiply that number by the million or so microbes each shopper leaves behind on TAKE THE ONE ON TOP! BY MARY ZAHRAN

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