CityView Magazine - Fayetteville, NC
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/90518
that package, and you have a number approaching infinity. And that's the package you want to place in your shop- ping cart? Why don't you just drink out of your toilet or go for a swim in an open sewer? At least when you engage in those activities, you do not suffer from the delusion that you are safe from disease or contamination. Shopping anywhere and touching anything but the first item is a recipe for disaster, an invitation to bring the bubonic plague into your home. For those of you still not convinced of the wisdom of my theory, I will re- count my recent shopping expedition to purchase vitamins. There was a wiz- ened old woman in there, coughing as though she was not only going to expel a considerable amount of phlegm, but perhaps an internal organ or two. She reached for a bottle of vitamin C and, of course, she bypassed the one in the front for one way in back. As she held it and read the label, she began cough- ing and wheezing. For five minutes, she stood there with that bottle in her hand, coughing, snorting and clearing her throat. When she finally caught her breath, she wiped her mouth and nose with her leſt hand, which she then used to return the bottle to its original place on the shelf — yep, the very last spot at the back of the shelf. I can only imagine what happened next. Some well-meaning mother, firmly convinced of the value of taking vitamin C to ward off a cold, went into the store and headed straight for the vi- tamin aisle. Also convinced (wrongly, may I add) of the safety and cleanli- ness of any item at the back of a shelf, she struggled to reach all the way to the back, to the very last bottle, and placed it in her shopping cart. Then, smiling the unknowing smile of the ignorant, the delusional or the misinformed, she strode to the check-out counter, eager to buy her safe, germ-free, barely-touched- by-human-hands bottle of vitamins to take home to her family. CV Mary Zahran lives in Fayetteville, where she avoids shopping-induced ill- nesses by using the Internet as much as possible. She can be reached at maryzah- ran@gmail.com Appliance Co., Inc. Visit our new location in the Major Major Brand Appliances Sales &Service Large Selection of Harris Teeter Shopping Center "Where Service is a Certainty" 2800 Raeford Road | Fayetteville, NC 28303 | 910-483-1369 CityViewNC.com | 17