Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/90317
4B Daily News – Saturday, October 27, 2012 FEATURES One-sided relationship irks cousin Dear Annie: My cousin and her husband have four young kids. My family is invited to every birthday and Christmas party. Of course, they expect a gift each time. They even regis- ter for toys and clothes. Their kids are already spoiled with bedrooms overcrowded with stuff. They also post pictures on Facebook of trips to local museums and restaurants, so money doesn't appear to be a problem. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar family is otherwise so busy that these parties are the only days my kids can be in their lives. If we don't go, we never see them. They rarely call or visit. They'll come over if we invite them to a barbecue or some- thing, but they don't reciprocate. I don't want to end the relation- The problem is, my cousin's everyone knows about my mistakes. But instead of standing up for me, my family members, including my own mother, delight in slandering my name. My brothers' wives can be particularly cruel. To me, when someone attacks a ship, but it feels one-sided. My cousin's father was like a father to me. After he died, I wanted to stay involved in her children's lives. I have tried to keep this relationship going, but every year it gets harder. Any advice? — Tennessee Dear Tennessee: It's sweet that you want to stay close to your cousin and her family, but please don't expect them to respond as if you are best friends. Socializing with relatives can be a bit more lim- ited without creating ill will. Con- tinue to attend the kids' birthday parties, but don't feel obligated to spend a fortune on a gift. Instead, The Annual Discovery Garden Festival and Plant Sale on Nov. 3 will be hosted by the Sacramento River Discovery Center at 1000 Sale Lane in Red Bluff. variety of events starting at 9 a.m. with a timed 5K- 10K walk/run covering some of the 4.2 miles of trails in the Red Bluff Recreation Area. Race Day registration The day will offer a offer to take the birthday child for a special outing so you can get to know each of them individually. Invite them over for family func- tions if you wish. Put less of an obligation on this rela- tionship, and you may find it is easier to handle. Dear Annie: I am the youngest of five and am a lonely, 39-year-old single woman. I admit that I have made some poor choices. We live in a small town, and bers have been known to treat one another terribly because they expect to be repeatedly forgiven and toler- ated. We are glad you are receiving therapy, and we hope it will help you get a fresh start. Dear Annie: I would like to pass on an idea I came up with to dis- tribute belongings to family mem- bers. rible treatment. Please tell your readers not to judge their family members or hold their past against them. — Moving On Now Dear Moving On: Family mem- family member, the proper response is to say that you won't speak gos- sip or evil, and demonstrate loyalty by refusing to discuss such things. Most people would respect that. I have never hurt anyone or done anything unforgivable. I am raising three kids alone while studying to be a nurse, and I'm also a talented photographer. I never get credit for any success in my life. None of these things matters to my family. I have been tormented and disre- spected for years. I am horrified at the dawning realization of how much of a lie my family life has been. So I am plan- ning to move to another state and cut all ties. I am in therapy and learning that I don't deserve this ter- I had a large doll collection in pristine condition. I invited my two daughters and two granddaughters to an ''auction.'' They were each given a paddle and Monopoly money. I also gave them a ''debit card'' that was worth $50 per hour. If they ran out of ''money,'' they could use their debit card and work off the amount they purchased by helping around my house. By the end of the auction, each child had the dolls they wanted. Now when I go to their houses, I see my dolls on display, but they aren't taking up space in my house. — Happy Auctioneer Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Discovery Center to hold walk, run event Early treatment best for child's weak eye TOR K: My son has amblyopia. Can we "force" him to use his bad eye? DEAR DOC- DEAR READ- ER: Amblyopia is a condition in growing children in which one eye doesn't see as well as the other. Remarkably, the brain fig- ures out which eye is see- ing properly and begins to ignore information from the bad eye. (There's an illustration of how this works on my website, AskDoctorK.com.) The brain's action helps the child in the short run: The child stops see- ing double from a crossed eye, for example. But if the brain ignores the sig- nals from the bad eye for too long, then even if the problem — the crossed eye, or a cataract — is fixed, the brain still will ignore that eye. This can lead to a lifelong loss of vision in the weaker eye. That's why recognizing the problem and fixing it as soon as possible is crit- ically important. from: crossed eye does not move properly. If a child needs to look to the right — because her mother is calling, for example — one eye may not move fully to the right. The child has double vision — two images of the mother, one to the right of the other. To prevent this con- fusing image, a child may focus the good eye more than the eye that doesn't move properly. — Severe nearsighted- begins at 8 a.m. with a 9 a.m. start. If there are more than 10 pre-registered peo- ple of any age, there will be a one-mile Fun Walk- Run. Registration infor- mation is available at www.srdc.tehama.k12.ca. us, www.sweatrc.com or at the center, outside the building on the bulletin board or by calling and requesting forms. Debit and credit cards will be accepted at the Center both for pre-registration Courtesy photo Walkers and runners start on their way for SRDC FallFest Walk/Run on Nov 3. and on race day Walkers, runners and visitors will have an opportunity either before or after the timed event to revisit the trail along East Sand Slough and view the work being completed on the Terrestrial Mitigation Project. Walkers and runners can visit the Plant Sale tak- ing place in the SRDC parking lot near the 2 acre garden. The garden is undergoing a major revi- talization and the fall blooming plants add a great deal of color. Deep layers of wood chips have been added to many gar- den areas to help with weed control and to help the soil retain moisture and reduce soil tempera- ture fluctuations. The Center is within the 488-acre Red Bluff Recre- ation Area, by the Red Bluff Diversion Dam. Recycle The Warmth Yes, I can help! Getting the word out about Recycle The Warmth. Who do you know that needs a coat? Yourself? Children? Grandchildren? Mother or Father? Neighbor? Homeless? Friend? Co-worker? Elderly? New Place Tehama District Fairgrounds Help us get the word out. Friday, Nov. 2th 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. For over 20 years,the Daily News associates have sponsored a warm clothing/soup kitchen giveaway. It is our way of saying " we care about others". FREE c lothing, blankets and food will be available for all. Please help us pass the word to families and individuals who would benefit from this event. Gently used Items accepted through November 1st. • BLANKETS • COATS • HATS • SCARVES • WINTER CLOTHING Bring to the Daily News, 545 Diamond Ave. Greatest needs: X-Large sizes and Children's clothes. We sincerely appreciate everyone's participation. This event is open to any family or individual in need of winter clothing . THANK YOU! Sponsored by Setting up at the fairgrounds the night before giveaway, Nov. 1st Setting up morning of giveaway, Nov. 2, ( Begins at 2:00 p.m .) Roving help during giveaway. Tearing down afterward, boxing up, cleaning up. ( Ends at 7:00 pm. ) We Also Need: Help with LIFT Your own unique skill or talent Name Phone # E-mail Please return this form to Daily News, 545 Diamond Ave. Call 527-2151, ext 129 (DailyNews) or e-mail: production@redbluffdailynews.com RecycleTheWarmth.weebly .com Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Treatment aims to pro- duce clear vision in both eyes. Depending on the cause of your child's bad eye, treatment may involve: that, instead of being crystal clear, starts to get cloudy. This blocks light from reaching the back of the eye. Although cataracts normally occur in older people, children can be born with them. — Prescription eye- glasses to correct focusing problems. — Surgery and eye muscle exercises to realign crossed eyes. — Surgery to correct Amblyopia may result — Crossed eyes. A any structural problem. The second treatment goal is to strengthen the weak eye. Your child will wear a patch over his stronger eye for several hours each day ("forcing" him to use his weak eye). Patching typically contin- ues for at least six months. Some ophthalmologists use an opaque contact lens in place of a patch. Others prescribe eye drops that temporarily blur vision in the stronger eye. Until recently, doctors ness or farsightedness. If one eye is more severely affected than the other, the brain may ignore images from the weaker eye. — Structural problems. Vision may be blocked by a structural problem of the eye or eyelid. One such problem is a cataract, a part of the lens of the eye believed that amblyopia couldn't be successfully treated after mid- to late childhood. However, new evidence suggests that vision may be improved with prompt, appropriate treatment regardless of the age at which amblyopia is diagnosed. It's still best to begin treatment early. Proper treatment during early childhood often produces near-normal vision in the affected eye. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Fire offer Halloween safety tips for spooky, safe holiday Special to the DN CalFire, Tehama County Ghosts, ghouls, and monsters aren't the only things to be on the look out for this Halloween. Accidents and mishaps increase dramatically when children trick-or-treat. The California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (CalFire) and the Tehama County Fire Department (TCFD) want everyone to enjoy a fire-safe Halloween by following these tips: Costumes • Purchase costumes made of flame resistant or retardant material (Check the label). Fire resistant does not mean fireproof. • Apply glow in the dark reflective tape to Hal- loween costumes. • To be seen easily, costumes should be made of a light color material. make-up instead. • Keep hemlines short enough to prevent trip- • Light jack-o-lanterns with a battery powered light – Never use candles. • Instruct children to stay away from open flames. Be sure they know how to stop, drop, and roll if their clothing catches fire. • Be extremely careful with cornstalks and other harvest season items. Keep them away from sources of heat. Don't let them block doorways or stairs. Trick-or-Treating Decorations trick-or-treating. Pick well-lit streets. If driving, be sure to watch for trick-or-treaters who are too busy to watch for you. • Do not allow children to carry sharp sticks or other objects that could cause injury to others. • Keep your yard free of tripping hazards, such as tools, hoses, etc. • An adult should accompany children when • Children should be instructed to eat their treats only after parents have inspected them. Dis- card any unwrapped treats. If in doubt, throw it out. enjoyable Halloween. For more Halloween safety ideas or other fire safety tips visit the CalFire website: www.fire.ca.gov. CalFire and TCFD wish everyone a safe and • Masks can obstruct vision – consider using ping. Avoid loose, baggy sleeves, or billowing skirts.