Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/77198
6A Daily News – Friday, August 3, 2012 FEATURES Past denial affects relationship Many years ago, I suspected my ex- husband of sexually abusing our daugh- ter, ''Mary.'' There was opportunity and some evidence. I didn't actually see anything. In and out of denial, I didn't know what to do, and so I didn't do anything. But it's tor- mented me. Several years ago, Mary told me she Dear Annie: by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar believed she was sexually abused as a child, but didn't know exactly who the perpetrator was. Her details were hazy, but the statements she made about the abuse confirmed my suspicion. Because she was going through a diffi- cult time, I decided to hold off on telling her. That was a big mistake. Mary had just reestablished a relation- ship with her father after having been estranged for years. sexual abuse and is trying to fill in the blanks. At her request, I also read the book. Now she feels she knows who it was, but the person she holds responsi- ble could not possibly be the right one. I believe she is having false memories. But she feels she has worked through it and at times seems to be doing well. Other times, she still seems fragile. My question is: Should I tell her the truth about her father or let her contin- Since then, she has read a book on Annie's Mailbox ue to believe it was the other guy? I have prayed about this. I believe the right thing to do is to tell her the truth, but I don't want to hurt her more. We live in different cities, so getting togeth- er with her has been difficult. I don't want to do this over the phone, and I'd rather do it at her place, not mine. Advice? — Anonymous Dear Anonymous: We recognize that some parents, when faced with the possibility that a spouse is abusing their child, become paralyzed with denial. But this was a terrible betrayal of your daughter. You were supposed to protect her. Please don't compound your cul- pability by withholding information because you can't seem to find the right moment to tell her. Since you aren't sure how to approach this, please con- tact RAINN (rainn.org) at 1-800-656- HOPE (1-800-656-4673), and ask for help. Today. two years, I doubt another six months would hurt.'' My sister was silent, but my mother got mad at me. I think everything I said made sense. Am I wrong? — New York Brother Dear Brother: Your comments were valid, but that's irrelevant. This isn't your decision, and apparently, both your mother and sister think it's not your business. Your suggestions have been noted. Now, we strongly urge you to stay out of it for your own health and safety. Dear Annie: I saw the poem ''The Painful sex is relieved with medication and self-care Ever since I went through menopause, sex has become painful. My doctor says this is because of vagi- nal atrophy. Is there anything I can do? DEAR READER: DEAR DOCTOR K: Dear Annie: My 28-year-old sister has been dating a 36-year-old guy for two years. They have frequent breakups because he's commitment phobic. A month ago, he finally pro- posed, and she said yes. Two weeks ago, she was invited to go overseas on a special program. Her fiance doesn't want her to be away for six months. I suggested she postpone the wedding and that her fiance could visit while she's there. My mother and sister were both dismissive of that idea. I said, ''People who love and care about each other trust each other. Since he's been postponing the marriage for Time Is Now'' in your column. My singing partner, Ed, and I learned it from a recording by the great Okla- homa bluegrass duo Delia Bell and Bill Grant. Wanting to include it on our own CD, we researched and learned that the late, great Nashville songwriter Harlan Howard wrote the song and released it in 1978 under the title ''Love Me Now.'' It is our most requested song during bluegrass jam sessions. — Peg Chase, Parma, Idaho Dear Peg Chase: Thanks for the research. We are delighted to give cred- it where it's due. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. nity Club gave out $15,500 worth of scholarships to students in the community. Ten graduating eighth graders from Lassen View School received $8,000 and five Tehama County upper classmen majoring in some phase of agricul- ture received $7,500. The club has given scholarships totaling $126,000 to 132 students in the past 13 years. Receiving $1000 were Kaitlin McKee, Christina Oliver, Erin Fennel, Mackenzie Clements and Lottie Jones. Kaitlin, who will be attending CSU, Chico is planning to major in Busi- ness and Finance with a minor in Applied Mathe- matics. She hopes to become an accountant. Kaitlin, a Red Bluff High School graduate, is the daughter of Telford McKee and Mary Coultas. Lassen View School Graduates Scholarships The Dairyville Commu- Dairyville Community Club 2012 Pain that occurs before, during or after sex is a common problem for many women following menopause. Most often, the cause is vaginal atro- phy, but there are other causes, too. The pain can range from mild to excruciating. I've describe it as burning, stinging, sharp or extreme tenderness. The pain may be located in the outer genitals (vulva) or within the vagina. Many women feel discomfort mainly in the nerve-rich area around the vaginal opening. Vaginal atrophy occurs heard patients when vaginal tissue deteri- orates because of estrogen loss. Your body's produc- tion of estrogen declines at menopause. As a result, vaginal tissue may become thinner, less lubricated and less elastic. Over time these changes can result in dryness, burning, itching and pain. Clements Dillon Espinosa with sex is a clue to other conditions. An infection of the vagina can lead to pain with sex; it also produces vaginal discharge. An infection of the tissues around the ovaries can lead to pain with sex; it also produces pelvic pain (also fevers and generally feeling ill) even when a woman is not having sex. A bacterial infection of the bladder can cause pain with sex; it also causes fre- quent and painful urina- tion. A condition called interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome can cause pain with sex; it also causes the same symptoms as a bacterial infection of the bladder. Vaginal atrophy is a more common cause of pain with sex, particularly when there is pain only with sex and not at other times. Fortunately, vaginal atrophy has several effec- tive treatments, often requiring a combination of Sometimes vaginal pain Fennel Christina will also be attending CSU, Chico and will major in Biological Sciences and minor in Spanish. Her goal is to become a medical doctor specializing in trauma. Christina, a Red Bluff High School graduate, is the daughter of Kevin and Mary Oliver. the University of Califor- nia at Santa Barbara and will major in Political Sci- ence and minor in Interna- tional Relations/ Pre-Law. She plans to become an International lawyer. Erin, a Red Bluff High School graduate, is the daughter of Jeff and Ruth Fennel. Mackenzie will Be attending Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle. She plans to earn a MA and become a professional dancer/ choreographer and dance professor. Macken- zie, a Red Bluff High School graduate, is the daughter of Rodney and Jennifer Clements. Erin will be attending Munoz $750 scholarship and will be attending Butte College. She plans to major in nurs- ing and minor in sociology. Her goal is to become a registered nurse. Ariel, a Red Bluff High School graduate, is the daughter of Demetrio Munoz and Yolanda Castaneda. Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo and will be majoring in Construction Manage- ment. Lottie will be attending received $750 and will be attending CSU, Chico where she will major in International Relations and minor in math. Her goal is to become a Public Rela- tions Specialist. Katherine Dillon also Oliver $500 and will be attending Shasta College where he will pursue an AA and then transfer to Brigham Young University where he will major in Business Administration with a minor in Economics. Eric, a Red Bluff High School graduate, is the son of Tad and Linda Espinosa. Yesenia Zepeda Katherine, a Red Bluff High School graduate, is the daughter of Steve and Helena Dillon. Ariel Munoz received a Eric Espinosa received received $500 and will be attending Shasta College and majoring in Dental Hygiene. Yesenia, a Red Bluff High School gradu- ate, is the daughter of Marco and Alma Zepeda. Mariah Smith received $500 and will be attending Shasta College for her gen- eral education before trans- James W. Tysinger, Jr. M.D. Eye Physician & Surgeon COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES All makes and models. We perform dealer Smog Check starting at$ Pass or FREE retest 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. (most cars and pick-ups) 2595 + cert. Tony & Carmen Kelley 22679 Moran Road Corning, Ca 96021 530-824-2195 Fax: 530-824-0748 Fellow American Academy of Ophthalmology We accept Medical, Medicare & most Insurances Office Hours: Tues-Wed-Thurs 8am-4:30pm Mon & Fri 1pm-4:30pm For Emergencies, After Hours, Week-ends, Call 530-567-5001 345 Hickory St. Red Bluff Tel: (530) 529-4733 Fax: (530) 529-1114 Bring this coupon for your 1st purchase at Wyntour Gardens Not Valid With Other Offers, Limited To Stock On Hand 10% off Zepeda ferring to a state university to major in Sociology and minor in Communications. Mariah, a Red Bluff High School graduate, is the daughter of Audie and Marlene Smith. Smith Jones McKee Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. estrogen. Local low-dose estrogen helps most women with vaginal atro- phy. It comes in a cream, a small tablet inserted in the vagina (Vagifem) and a flexible vaginal ring that's worn continuously (Estring). Vaginal applica- tion releases little estrogen into the bloodstream. It carries less risk of side effects than systemic hor- mone therapy. Discuss the pros and cons of vaginal estrogen with your physi- cian. It isn't yet clear if it is safe for women with a history of breast cancer. Lubricants. Non-hor- medications, other thera- pies and self- care. One or more of the following should help you manage discomfort and increase sexual plea- sure: Vaginal monal vaginal lubricants and moisturizers may help reduce friction and pain during sex. Lubricants are applied just before sex; moisturizers are applied more regularly, for longer- term relief. Sexual techniques. Extend foreplay to increase moisture in the vaginal tissues before intercourse. Switch posi- tions, and experiment with different ways of being intimate. Communicate with your partner about what does and doesn't feel good. Lidocaine. This numb- ing ointment is applied to the area surrounding the vaginal opening before and after sex. It may help ease sexual discomfort. Finally, frequent sexual activity can help stretch and strengthen muscles and increase blood flow and lubrication. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. NBC: Archery becoming ing. a ratings phenomenon NEW YORK (AP) — Archery is the new curl- NBC said Thursday that during the first few days of its Olympics coverage, archery was the most popular sport of any that it aired on its cable networks — bigger even than basketball. Archery averaged 1.5 million viewers when it came on TV. NBC Sports Group Chairman Mark Lazarus attributed the interest in part to the popularity of ''The Hunger Games'' getting young people inter- ested in bows and arrows. American archer Brady Ellison is also a big draw. It is reminiscent of when recent Winter Olympics telecasts fueled an interest in curling. CONSOLIDATION SALE FINAL 3 DAYS "Everything outside in the Nursery" August 3, 4 & 5th 70% OFF All Sales are Final, Limited to Stock on Hand. Not good with other offers. No Returns, Exchanges or Guarantees on Sale Items. GARDEN CENTER RED BLUFF