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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Ihavea daughter who is a high school freshman. When she was two, her father divorced me. I was devas- tated because I loved him, never wanted a divorce and didn't want our daughter to face this pain. Before the divorce was final, he started dating a colleague of mine who I had to see every day. His actions were humili- ating and hurtful. After two years of working full time, raising a toddler alone and going to graduate school on weekends, I accepted a teaching position sev- eral hours away, partly in order to escape his orbit, but I stayed within a few hours of his home so that my daughter could see him regularly. For 12 years she has seen him every other weekend, half of each summer and on every other major holi- day. I established a good career, have a nice home and we have a good life. My ex-husband eventu- ally remarried and had two more children. I stayed single and remar- ried a few months ago. My daughter is close to all of her family members. I believe my ex has gener- ally been a good father to her. However, he has been critical of my move and how it has "taken her away" from him. He says things to her like, "I'd love to come to your game, but I can't make it. It's too bad your mom moved you far away." Now, my daughter has started to parrot his com- ments. I've not responded to her criticisms because I don't want to soil her view of her dad. But I'm getting tired of being made to be the bad guy. Should I tell her the truth about the circum- stances of the divorce and wh y I m ov e d a wa y? —The"BadGuy" DEAR "BAD GUY" » You are contemplating conveying to your daughter what a jerk her father was/is. But what purpose would this serve? Being the bearer of this would backfire. The wisest thing to do is to speak with your ex. Tell him that these state- ments hurt his daughter's feelings and make her feel bad about her situation. He is trying to explain his absences by blaming you for a choice put in mo- tion by his own long-ago actions, but all the same — you did choose to move away. So own that choice. You should calmly say to your daughter, "I'm so sorry this is hard for you. I don't think it is fair for your dad to blame me because he can't come to some of your games, but he's trying to tell you that he wants to be here, though he can't always." Understand that ado- lescents will act out to- ward the custodial parent. Also unders tand tha t yo ur daughter is adjusting to the presence of a new parent in your household, and she is likely transfer- ring some of her anxiety about this onto a situa- tion which seems to have worked well. The time to disclose details of how your mar- riage ended is when your daughter asks, explicitly, what happened. And even then you should be care- ful and kind. Daughter starts to parrot her dad's critical comments You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson. com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec. 21) — Find out what everyone else is up to before making a change that could affect others. Once you get the go-ahead, it will make your life easier. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You'll intuitively know what's best for you and how to go about getting what you want. Don't hesitate when the going is good. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Making a donation to a charity or cause is fine, as long as you don't go into debt to help others. Cover your and your family's needs first. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Don't get too serious. Get into the spirit of the season and be grateful for what you have. Take a moment to rejuvenate. Aries (March 21-April 19) — You will come up against a roadblock if you try to take on too much or protest against someone who is in control. Fo- cus on making positive personal changes. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Plan to do something nice for your peers. Your generosity and thoughtfulness will be appreci- ated. A unique gesture to help someone in need will bring you satisfaction. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Stick to what you know, and don't budge even if someone tries to talk you into taking part in something that isn't in your best interest. Avoid joint ven- tures and overspending. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Spending time at home with your family while getting things ready for end-of-year festivi- ties will put you in a good mood. Sharing your thoughts and feel- ings will result in a change. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — A change at home or in your work- place will turn out better than anticipated. Something you want to do for a loved one will result in an emotional reaction. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Stick to the facts when dealing with controversial matters. Your future may be at stake if you don't adhere to the rules. In- dustry parties are best handled diplomatically. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Consider positive personal changes you can make. Know- ing what you want to achieve next year will help you enjoy the festive season. A move, trip or educational pursuit looks promising. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Don't let your emotions take charge when dealing with older relatives. Do what you have to do and don't look back. Your intuition will help you make the right choice. Horoscope By Eugenia Last TUESDAY, DEC. 20 TUESDAY,DECEMBER20,2016 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B