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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Ineedyour advice on how to get over my childhood, accept my parents for what they are and move forward with- out resentment. I am 50 years old. I have a good life, and I don't blame my own problems on anyone else. My parents are decent people, but my sibling and I were subjected to a consis- tent level of verbal and emotional abuse during our teen years. My parents are 80, and I would have thought this would get easier, but as I get older and continue to interact with them, my bitter resentment is actu- ally getting worse. They are both judg- mental and critical, and take enjoyment from demeaning others. I know I will never measure up, and it makes me furious when they make fun of anyone else, even if it's not directed at me. I cannot cut them off completely because my two teenagers would not understand. They do not know what it was like to be raised by people with constant yelling and threats. My parents are good to my kids. In other areas of my life I am stronger and more secure, but being around my parents, or the anticipation of it, gets me anxious for days. How do I rid myself of this internal resentment and negativity, and move on? —StilltheAnxious Child DEAR STILL ANXIOUS » No one — no one — "gets over" their childhood. Your childhood is what made you who you are. Stop trying to get over it, and focus your energy on coping with it. Anxiety is one conse- quence of growing up in a verbally and emotionally abusive household. I hope it is not neces- sary for you to have con- stant contact with your parents in order for your teenage children to have what you want them to have, which is a healthy relationship with their grandparents. Now that they are teens, you may be able to back off more. You should also give yourself a break, as well as the license to simply feel the way you feel, without thinking that you are somehow failing at being a survivor. Reacting naturally in the moment, for example, responding when your parents trash others, will help. Sample: "Mom. Dad. Stop it." If you find your stress level rising, excuse yourself, get a glass of water, remind yourself to breathe and give yourself a pat on the back for be- ing a better parent, and person, than you were raise d to b e. You win! DEAR AMY » "Upset and Confused" expressed her dismay at her friend who referred to our president "using the worst racist term imaginable." Thank you for stand- ing up for decency and for raising your voice against racist slurs. — Admirer DEAR ADMIRER » Being opposed to racism, in- cluding the use of racist slurs, is hardly an act of bravery on my part, but thank you. Adult struggles to get over childhood of emotional abuse You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson. com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec. 21) — Put more emphasis on your personal accomplishments and what you still want to achieve. A physical change will turn out favorable. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Expand your knowledge, not your responsibilities. Gather information and weigh the pros- pects carefully. Let someone else take the risk. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Carrying out home improve- ments, updating your invest- ments and making special plans with children, relatives or loved ones look promising. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Make travel plans or arrange- ments with friends or relatives you want to touch base with before the end of the year. Aries (March 21-April 19) — You need to put more energy into important relationships. The more enthusiasm and willingness to compromise you show, the more you will get in return. Offering incentives or af- fectionate gestures is favored. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Think matters through, but don't stop the flow of some- thing that appears to be moving forward smoothly. Tying up financial matters will bring back memories. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — It's a good day to book travel plans. Take care of your responsibilities to ensure you have time to spend with friends and family as the year comes to a close. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — You need to take care of pend- ing financial or medical issues that you may have let slip. A clean slate before the year's end will boost your morale. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — You must put partnerships first and foremost. It's in your best interest to set the stage for a secure and prosperous upcom- ing year. Don't leave anything to chance or to the last moment. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — A work opportunity looks prom- ising, but may interfere with an important personal relationship. Don't disrupt your home life un- til you have concrete evidence change is heading your way. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Take care of concerns that chil- dren or elders in your life have voiced. Your help will revive the love you have for each other and bring you satisfaction. Romance is in the stars. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Overspending will be a problem. Check over your investments, bank accounts and overall spending habits, and adjust your strategy in order to deal with debt or recurring bills. Horoscope By Eugenia Last TUESDAY, DEC. 13 TUESDAY,DECEMBER13,2016 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B