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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Mymiscar- riage was 10 years ago. I still grieve for my lost "Grace." It took many years to come to terms with this loss, and there is still one thing I struggle with: We conceived our daughter "Clara" when I should have been seven months pregnant with Grace. Clara was born a pree- mie (a year to the day of Grace's death). It was a long, exhaust- ing journey with the happiest of results! Without Grace's death, we would not have our beautiful, kind daughter, so when I grieve and feel sad for losing Grace, I feel guilty that I am somehow not being grateful enough for the daughter I do have. My husband reinforces the guilt by saying I need to get over Grace and appreciate the daughter we have. When I celebrate Clara, I feel guilty that I am diminishing Grace. I love both my children and would love to freely grieve and celebrate without the guilt. I would appreciate your insight. —LostMother DEAR LOST » It is unrealis- tic to think that you will stop grieving for the loss you feel so deeply. However, many people find that their grief recedes as time goes on. This is not forget tin g a loved one, but it is time's way of letting joy back into your life. One reason some couples wait a year after a miscarriage to try to conceive again, is that it gives them time to mark the various milestones of a pregnancy and mis- carriage. Your second pregnancy is entwined with your first. And the coincidence of the birth and death date means that these two events are forever linked. I would especially worry about the impact on your child. If you feel guilty, imagine what your daughter might be feeling about this loss and her place in the family. Describing her as a replacement to the pregnancy you lost — or conveying that your other child's death resulted in this child's life — is not a good message for her to hear. You should deal with this in a way where your feelings are in balance, and where you under- stand that every person — you, your husband, your parents, your child — will feel differently. Your husband should not tell you to "get over" this loss, but he is prob- ably trying to urge you toward light. Your ongo- ing grief makes him feel guilty because he doesn't feel the same. I think it might really help you and your husband to visit a thera- pist to talk about this together. I have a feel- ing that if your husband could share this with you intimately it might help you to heal. A support group might also be help- ful to you. A ritual for your family might help all of you to put this loss in perspective. Mom's grief over miscarriage affects husband and daughter You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Scorpio(Oct.24-Nov.22) — You have to show strength and courage if you want to get ahead. Don't let anyone take control or coax you to over- spend. Do your own thing. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Don't be afraid to share your feelings and to let others know where you stand and what your intentions are. Don't give in to emotional manipulation. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You must keep things in perspective. It will be easy to miscalculate, leaving you at odds in any given situation involving others. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You should take an energetic approach to your life, responsi- bilities and personal and profes- sional goals. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Giving false information or divulging personal secrets will put you in a vulnerable position. Protect yourself against being misinterpreted or emotionally manipulated by an adversary. Aries (March 21-April 19) — It's a good day to take action and get things done. Work inde- pendently if it will deter others from slowing you down. A short trip or meeting will give you something to think about. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — A change at work shouldn't disrupt your productivity. Hun- ker down and finish whatever you are responsible for. It's what you accomplish that will secure your position. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — If you make plans that will chal- lenge you mentally, physically and emotionally, you will attract interesting people. Listen and try to help others, but don't get taken for granted. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Secret matters are best kept that way. Someone will try to disclose information that will be harmful to your plans. Don't overspend when trying to im- press others. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Bringing about change that you believe is necessary will encour- age new friendships and a bet- ter understanding of gratitude. If you speak on behalf of those who cannot, you'll become a hero. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — You need to pay more attention to what's going on at your home and within your important rela- tionships. Go out of your way to keep the peace and put others at ease. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Changes at home will encourage greater cash flow. Check out your vocational options and pick up information that will help you improve your earning potential. Horoscope By Eugenia Last TUESDAY, NOV. 15 TUESDAY,NOVEMBER15,2016 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B