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GregStevens,Publisher Chip Thompson, Editor EDITORIALBOARD How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@ redbluffdailynews.com Fax: 530-527-9251 Mail to: P.O. Box 220, 728Main St., Red Bluff, CA 96080 Facebook: Leave comments at FACEBOOK.COM/ RBDAILYNEWS Twitter: Follow and send tweets to @REDBLUFFNEWS Inlastweek'scolumn,Imentionedthatforthe biggest part of my childhood I resided directly across the street from Red Bluff High School. I was fortunate enough to attend high school in the stately old three-story building that occupied the site where the tennis courts sit today. Igraduatedinthespringof 1963; later that summer the grand old gal burned to the ground. While losing that iconic old building was a blow to the en- tire community, the Red Bluff High School I attended was blessed with something far more valuable than the coolest build- ing in town. It was blessed with an exceptional staff. It was the staff that made the building special. Floyd Salisbury was principal. He was a really nice man. Floyd had two sons. Son Robert served this community for decades as a dedicated city police officer. Son Jack was in my class, and though I never knew him to play the game, Jack went on to coach the varsity girls basketball team to the only state championship in the school's history. Doug Sale was vice principal. A man's man, Mr. Sale was firm, but fair. While he did not de- mand respect, he certainly com- manded respect. Doug today is a dear friend and mentor. Simply put, Doug Sale is the kind of per- son we should all strive to be. I was fortunate to have many other fine teachers. Mr. Aus- tin was my freshman algebra in- structor. It was said that he had been an All-American quar- terback at a mid-western col- lege. I had a difficult time believ- ing that, because Mr. Austin was small in stature and spoke in a meek and mild manner. After acing algebra, I logically enrolled in geometry, which was taught by Ms. Steinback. What a mistake that was. Ms. Steinback, also small in stature, weighed maybe 85 pounds soaking wet. Perhaps that is why she carried a big stick and yelled a lot. I knew that a triangle had at least three sides, but I thought Isosceles was the Greek god of fire. A geoma- trist I'm not. My Sociology teacher was Mr. Couse. Mr. Couse was one of my favorite teachers. I couldn't really tell you why, he just was. The fact that he taught me about the func- tion of society and social relation- ships may well have had some- thing to do with my career choice to become a probation officer. I, along with almost every boy in school, eagerly enrolled in typ- ing class each and every year. While learning to type turned out to be a useful byproduct, the real drawing card for the class was that the extremely young and extremely attractive Nell Saver- cool taught the class. Enough said. Isn't it amazing how teach- ers who demanded the most ul- timately end up on our favorite teacher list? Marie Stoll was just such a teacher. Mrs. Stoll taught English as well as Journalism. Mrs. Stoll was a taskmaster. I would guess that most of us who studied under Mrs. Stoll are still able to diagram a sentence today. Mrs. Stoll was a teacher of the very best kind. When you live in a small town, you often come to know former teachers as real people with lives outside the classroom. My Span- ish teacher was a young lady by the name of Dorothy Bliss. It is because of Ms. Bliss that I am today totally fluent in Spanish. Miss Bliss subsequently met and married Ken Lindauer, promi- nent local prune farmer and son of legendary Daily News colum- nist, Sydney Lindauer. A few years back while our non-profit was considering the purchase of the State Theatre, Ken and Dorothy Lindauer made a very substantial contribution to kick off our capital campaign. Without that initial contribu- tion, I am not sure we would have had the courage to pull the trig- ger on this important community project. So on behalf of the entire community, I say, "Gracias, Ken y Dortea. Sin toapoyo el Estado Teatro seria problamente una porrcion del estacionzmiento." My history teacher was a ter- rific lady by the name of Marilyn Rooney. Marilyn married a great man by the name of Dudley Long, and for the past half century the Long family has symbolized ev- erything that is good about the Dairyville community. After graduating college and return- ing to serve as this county's Chief Probation Officer I was blessed to have Marilyn Long serve on the Tehama County Juvenile Jus- tice Commission. I was always a bit nervous knowing that, as my former teacher, she undoubtedly knew how smart I was not, but she was nice enough to not blow my cover. For that I will always be grateful. I shall also always be grateful that Marilyn Long is my friend. Elmer Eggers was perhaps my favorite teacher of all time. Mr. Eggers was raised in the Paskenta area of Tehama County. I believe he put himself through college at Chico State, and I believe his en- tire career was spent teaching at Red Bluff High School. I remember sitting in his class- room and listening to the radio as Pittsburgh Pirate, Bill Maze- rowski hit a game-winning home run home in game seven of the 1960 World Series. I remember clearly that Mr. Eggers was gifted when it came to coming up with a corny joke each and every day. Most of all I remember that Mr. Eggers was a gifted teacher, and an even better person. Not only did he teach us about the subject at hand, he also taught us about life. While many of these teachers are no longer with us, Doug Sale, Marilyn Long, Nell Savercool and Elmer Eggers remain an impor- tant part of this community. On behalf of the thousands of stu- dents who were lucky enough to sit in your classrooms, thank you. Simply put, you were the best. Who was your favorite teacher? •••• Rest in peace cousin Diane Smith. In the lives of all who knew you, you mattered, a lot. BillCorneliusisalifelong resident of Red Bluff, a retired Chief Probation Officer, a champion of the State Theatre and an exceptional athlete. He can be reached at bill.cornelius@ sbcglobal.net. William Tells Recallingsome fine teachers from my past Cartoonist's take Journalists in the mass me- dia love to dig up dirt on Re- publican presidential can- didates. Well, I just dug up some dirt on Hillary Clinton. In Bob Wood- ward's 1996 book, "The Choice," Wood- ward reports that Hillary once conducted séances to summon the spirits of Elea- nor Roosevelt and Mahatma Gandhi. Through some crack inves- tigative work — I paid a Rus- sian hacker 20 bucks to ac- cess Hillary's server — I de- termined that Hillary is still talking to dead people. Here's a transcript of her most recent séance: Hillary: It's tough being a strong, smart woman, Eleanor. What should I do? Eleanor: You must pretend to be humble, right Mahatma? Mahatma Ghandi: Yes, humble, and she must change her hair style. Hillary: Change my hair style again? Mahatma: Try the Mary Ty- ler Moore look from the old Dick Van Dyke show. FDR: Eleanor, come back to sleep, dear. Hillary: President Roos- evelt? Eleanor: Go back to sleep, you old philanderer. Mahatma: And try some zippity doo. President Truman: Hillary, I have some advice for you. Hillary: President Truman? Truman: If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. LBJ: I couldn't take it and I got out. Hillary: Lyndon? President Nixon: You were run out, Lyndon. LBJ: A subject you know well, Dick. Shirley MacLaine: Hello. Hello. LBJ: MacLaine, what are you doing here? You're not dead. Shirley: There is no death, Lyndon. Nixon: No death to LBJ's commie government pro- grams, anyway. President Jefferson: Good God, what have you people done to the country. Hillary: President Jefferson? Jefferson: It takes a village, my eye. Individuals get things done. President Washington: Jef- ferson, how's it going, old boy? Jefferson: They've run up $20 trillion in debt, George! Jimmy Hoffa: You people want to keep it down? Hillary: You're the real Jimmy Hoffa? Hoffa: Does a bear — Shirley: Jimmy. Ghandi: Alberto VO5 also offers some very nice products to make your hair shiny. Ben Franklin: What did you people do to the Consti- tution? Bill Smith: Hey, Hillary, I've got a bone to pick with you. Hillary: Who are you? Bill Smith: A Trump sup- porter. I got so mad when you called me and my friends a basket of deplorables that I had a massive coronary and now I'm stuck in your damn séance. Shirley: Anyone hear from George Burns? Franklin: What happened to limited government. Hillary: Eleanor, I sum- moned you and Mahatma for inspiration. Eleanor: But you're not get- ting inspired? Hillary: No, I'm suffering more abuse than I get from the living. Truman: If you can't take the heat... Eleanor: Ignore them, dear. They've been moaning about FDR's programs for 60 years. Hillary: I feel so down lately. I feel so heavy, like someone buried me in con- crete. Hoffa: Lady, you don't know what you're talking about. Hillary: Eleanor, I need your help. I'm falling in the polls. What do I do? Eleanor: Just as I was a revolutionary First Lady, you, the first major-party female presidential candidate, are a revolutionary. Revolutionar- ies ruffle feathers, dear. Hillary: But I should be slaughtering Trump. If I'm not careful, I could lose this thing. What can I do to make people like me? (Silence.) Hillary: Eleanor? Ghandi: Eleanor left, Hill- ary. But she said you might try a good conditioner. Be sure to rinse thoroughly. Tom Purcell, author of "Misadventures of a 1970s Childhood" and "Wicked Is the Whiskey," a Sean McClanahan mystery novel, both available at Amazon. com, is a Pittsburgh Tribune- Review humor columnist. Send comments to Tom@ TomPurcell.com. Tom Purcell Hillary summons dead for advice My history teacher was a terrific lady by the name of Marilyn Rooney. Marilyn married a great man by the name of Dudley Long, and for the past half century the Long family has symbolized everything that is good about the Dairyville community. Bill Cornelius Tom Purcell Last week's announcement of a record-breaking U.S. aid package for Israel under- scores how dangerously fool- ish and out-of-touch is our in- terventionist foreign policy. Over the next ten years, the U.S. taxpayer will be forced to give Israel some $38 bil- lion dollars in military aid. It is money we cannot afford go- ing to a country that needs no assistance to maintain its sta- tus as the most powerful mili- tary in the Middle East. All U.S. foreign aid is im- moral and counterproduc- tive. As I have often said, it is money taken from poor peo- ple in the U.S. and sent to rich people overseas. That is because U.S. assistance money goes to foreign gov- ernments to hand out as they see fit. Often that assistance is stolen outright or it goes to the politically connected in the recipient country. Just as bad is the fact that much of what we call "foreign aid" is actually welfare for the wealthy here at home. The aid package to Israel is a very good example. According to the agreement, this $38 bil- lion will all go to U.S. weap- ons manufacturers. So the real beneficiaries are the U.S. military-industrial complex. At a nominal per capita GDP of over $35,000, Israel is richer than Japan, Italy, and South Korea. Not long ago Business Insider published a report by the Institute for the Study of War showing that the Israel is the most power- ful military force in the Mid- dle East. So why is the U.S. giv- ing a rich and incredibly well-armed country a record amount of military aid? Part of it is that the U.S. govern- ment believes it can coerce Is- rael to do Washington's bid- ding in the Middle East. His- tory shows that this is a foolish pipe dream. Another reason is a very powerful lobby in Washing- ton, AIPAC, that pressures Members of Congress to focus on Israel's interests instead of U.S. interests. Members of Congress should look at our economy, with effectively zero interest rates, an anemic non- recovery from the 2008 crash, historically low participation in the work force, and infla- tion eroding the value of the dollar and conclude that this might not be the best time to start handing out billions of dollars in foreign aid. Here's a better aid pack- age for Israel: free trade, travel, friendly relations, and no entangling alliances. Is- rael should be free to pur- sue its national interests and we should be free to pursue ours. If individual Americans feel compelled to provide as- sistance to Israel or any other country or cause overseas they should be allowed. But the rest of us should not be forced to do so. Trade, not aid. Ron Paul is a former Congressman and Presidential candidate. He can be reached at the RonPaulInstitute.org. Ron Paul Why are we sending $38B to rich Israel? OPINION » redbluffdailynews.com Wednesday, September 21, 2016 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A6