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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Weadopted our daughter "Laura" as a newborn. She is now in college. Laura located her birth mother "Cassie" two years ago. Cassie lives about 45 minutes from our home and is now mar- ried with children. Cassie emails Laura frequently. She asks about school, of- fers advice and always asks about her plans when she is home. There is a familiar pattern in that Cassie contacts Laura by email before a school holiday and indicates that they can meet. Laura provides the dates she will be home, then hears noth- ing further until the date she is returning to school, at which time Cassie expresses regret that they did not meet. Twice they have made plans and Cassie has canceled on the actual day, claiming she had a headache, no baby-sitter, etc. Laura is excited and then devastated when plans are canceled. I sent Cassie an email last year and told her that this is causing Laura pain and anxiety. I asked her to please let me know whether she wishes to meet Laura, and if not, I would explain it to her myself as kindly as possible. I offered to meet Cassie for a cup of coffee, and thanked her for al- lowing us to raise such a beautiful girl. Cassie assured me that she wants to meet Laura. I don't know whether Cassie has her own issues, or is playing some kind of game. If this were another girl, I would tell Laura to block her from social me- dia and move away from this relationship. Please let me know what you woul d do i n m y place. —FrustratedMother DEAR FRUSTRATED » In your place, I would do exactly as you have done. An important compo- nent to parenting older children is to willingly turn over control of their lives to them. This is especially chal- lenging when you see your child embroiled in a troubling relationship. You cannot suggest that "Laura" give up on her quest to know her biological mother. You can, however, help her to manage her own anxiety, disap- pointment and heart- break over this woman's behavior. It is possible that "Cassie" has not told her family about this adoption. She may set meetings as deadlines for herself to disclose this, and then chicken out when the date arrives and she hasn't done so. Let it lie, and let Laura talk to you about it when she needs to. I think it is best to do so without speculating about or judg- ing Cassie's behavior. Your daughter is learn- ing that what people do is more important than what th ey s ay. S he ma y have to get burned a few more times before she decides to create her own boundary around this relationship. Birth mother keeps canceling on her college-aged daughter You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Virgo(Aug.23-Sept.22)— Make an effort to update your image or improve your domestic environment. A networking event will give you a platform to present what you have to offer. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Make plans to do things with friends or family. Interacting with people will help you sort through any differences that could hinder your progress. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Emotionally fraught matters will escalate if you aren't willing to listen to others' suggestions or constructive criticism. Don't let uncertainty weigh you down. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Look at the big picture and weigh what's doable and what isn't before you commit to someone's demands. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Take more time to spend with people who understand your vi- sion. Backup will be necessary if you want to bring about change that is not wanted by everyone. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You will make headway financially, legally and person- ally if you take action and make things happen. An opportunistic venture should not be ignored. Romance is highlighted. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Learn as you go. Set realistic expectations that won't draw interference from someone making demands or trying to control you. Keep personal information a secret to avoid a vulnerable situation. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Getting involved in some- thing you believe in or helping someone you love will bring you satisfaction and promote better relationships. A physical change will give you a pick-me-up. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Count on others only if you want to be disappointed. You have more than enough knowledge and skills to do what needs to be done on your own. Believe in yourself. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — A chance to make cash while doing something you enjoy looks promising. Don't let a needy person monopolize your time or deny you the chance to take advantage of an opportunity. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Think matters through and be sure to do things for the right reasons. It's time to put what you want first and stop let- ting others control your life. Be persistent and persuasive. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Educational pursuits, an ap- prenticeship or an educational endeavor will bring about posi- tive vocational changes that can raise your profile and income. Socializing is featured. Horoscope By Eugenia Last TUESDAY, SEPT. 13 TUESDAY,SEPTEMBER13,2016 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B