Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/684825
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Myfatherisa 70-year-old alcoholic and gambler who refuses to accept help. My mother kept him in "check" for 50 years, but she died last year. Being of the "old school" generation, she did everything for him. Now that she is gone, he expects the family to just pick up where my mom left off. He refuses to make any effort. I understand he's very depressed and misses her, but after a year I feel he should step up a little. I've tried more than once to get him to accept help for his addictions but as you know an ad- dict cannot be forced to accept help. After a few months of doing laundry, cleaning, shopping, etc., without even a simple thank you from him, I've had enough and refuse to lend a hand until he makes just even a little effort. The rest of my family continues to put up with his nonsense and are angry with me. I know he's my father, but does that make it right for him to just as- sume we should all cater to all of his bad habits? My mother chose to put up with it. I'm choosing not to. All I want is for him to try — just a little. What do you think? —Frustrated DEAR FRUSTRATED » Your mother enabled your father to dive into his addictions, and now your siblings are filling in the void, because she is gone and they don't know what else to do. People who enable addicts seem to do so out of a need to tamp down their own anxiety, as well as try to control the chaos that erupts when an ad- di ct s pi ra ls o ut o f co n t ro l. They often describe their own behavior in very lov- ing and protective terms, but addiction counsel- ors will also sometimes describe it as "loving someone to death." Because you have backed away, you are up- setting the whole dysfunc- tional system. Expect your siblings to blame you, and to be upset. You and your siblings should meet with a coun- selor together. You would be doing your whole family a favor if you chose to assist in this way. Children of addicts have a heavy family burden, but you need each other. Check Al-Anon.org for group support; consider reading (and sharing) the classic book: "Codepen- dent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Your- self," by Melodie Beattie (1992, Hazelden) DEAR AMY » I enjoy your "Best Of" columns, but a recent one from "Torn (Over) Letter" from 10 years ago drove me crazy! Torn's mother had given him a letter with instruc- tions to open it only after her death. I liked your advice but now I'm going crazy. What did Torn do? What did the letter say? — Curious DEAR CURIOUS » I've heard from many readers who are dying to know what the heck was in that let- ter! "Torn," if you're out there, let us know! Family of alcoholic enables him after their mother's death You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Gemini(May21-June20)— Finish what you start and take your responsibilities seriously. A professional attitude will lead to perks and financial gains. Celebrate your victory. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Show off your unique perspec- tive by sharing your innovative ideas with colleagues and friends. You'll raise interest. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Before you jump in and take a chance on something you know little about, get the facts. Knowledge will give you an edge. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Don't let personal matters or a sensitive situation at work cost you. Concentrate on being productive. Do your part and you will be rewarded. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Get out and about. Make plans with friends, children or loved ones. Engage in some- thing that will lift your spirits or add to your appeal. Romance is highlighted. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Problems will surface if you let emotional matters escalate. Take charge and find a solution to any personal problem you face. Dealing with settlements or contracts will be taxing. Sagittarius (Nov. 23- Dec. 21) — Listen to others, but don't be gullible. Get the lowdown before taking part in a proposal that seems too good to be true. Someone you love will try to take advantage of you. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Don't feel you have to pay for someone else's mistake. You can't buy love, but you can offer suggestions. Let your wisdom lead the way and your money stay in your pocket. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — A can-do attitude will take you where the action is and prove you are a worthy candi- date for advancement. Romance and family fun are featured. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Proceed with caution. Problems with institutions and while traveling will surface due to uncertainty and confusion. Take better care of your health through a proper diet. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Make your move. Professional opportunities that will boost your income and raise your standard of living are out there, waiting to be seized. Present your case with sincerity and clarity. Romance is featured. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Your ability to listen and observe will pay off. The discov- eries you make will help you find a solution to an unusual problem stemming from someone else's indiscretion or indulgence. Horoscope By Eugenia Last FRIDAY, MAY 27 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM FRIDAY, MAY 27, 2016 4 B