Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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26 UCW JANUARY 27 - FEBRUARY 2, 2016 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Ben Hurry I'm a 35-year-old woman, and I've been involved with a guy around my age for almost two years. It's been "open." Well, that is, he's had the freedom to sleep with other people. I haven't wanted to. I finally realized that I am not happy with this and want more, but he made it very clear that he's not interested in being monogamous — with me or anybody. I'm having a very difficult time cutting things off, as there's a lot that's great about our relationship. How do you leave somebody you really care about who you know is bad for you? — Stuck Research by evolutionary psychologist David Buss suggests that jealousy is basically love's burglar alarm — an evolved psychological warning system that goes off in response to threats to a relationship. It must seem kind of unbelievable to be so miserable yet so unable to keep enough of a grip on that to get out. You can probably blame the limits of what's called "working memory." It's essentially a mental workspace — a kind of whiteboard in your head — where you lay out and kick around a few sets of information. These info sets are called "chunks," and one example might be the experiences that make up the idea "he cooks me these wonderful dinners!" But according to research by psychologist Nelson Cowan, working memory holds only about four chunks at once. We also tend to give priority seating to info sets that justify the choices we've made. So, all aboard for the he's a great kisser chunk, the he was really sweet when I was in the hospital chunk, etc., etc. And whoops — whaddya know — seems there's no room for he insists on having sex buffet-style. You need to look at all the information at once, and this requires a piece of paper and a pen. On either half of the page, list the pros and cons of being with him, giving them blocks of space that correspond to their importance. For example, his home-cooked meals w big block on the con side. Carry this paper around and look at it until it becomes clear to you that you need to be somebody's "one and only" and not just the one before their Tuesday tennis lesson. Copyright Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD They are simply "'spas' designed to attract teenagers," according to one university official — plush, state-of- the-art "training" complexes built by universities in the richest athletic conferences to entice elite 17-year- old athletes to come play for (and, perhaps, study at?) their schools. The athletes-only mini-campuses include private housing and entertainment (theaters, laser tag, miniature golf ) — but, actually, the schools are in a $772-million-plus "arms' race" (according to a December Washington Post investigation) because soon after one school's sumptuous, groundbreaking facility opens, some other school's more- innovative facility renders it basically second-rate. And of course, as one university official put it, the "shiny objects" have "nothing whatsoever to do with the mission of a university." (Donors and alumni provide much of the funding, but most schools by now also tap students' "athletic fees.") [Washington Post, 12-21-2015] Redneck Chronicles Police in Monticello, Kentucky, charged Rodney Brown, 25, with stealing farm animals and equipment from a home in December — but offering to return everything if the victim (a man) had sex with him. Brown allegedly took 25 roosters, a goat and some rooster pens and other rooster-care equipment. (Because Brown also supposedly said he'd beat the man up if he called police, a "terroristic threatening" count was added to "promoting prostitution.") [WKYT-TV (Lexington, Ky.), 1-5-2015] Made in Heaven: William Cornelius, 25, and his fiancee, Sheri Moore, 20, were arrested at the Bay City (Michigan) Mall in January, charged with theft. Police found a pair of earrings and a necklace swiped from Spencer Gifts on her, but she refused to "snitch" on Cornelius, who had minutes earlier proposed to her via a Wal-mart loudspeaker and given her a ring, to applause from onlooking shoppers as she accepted. Cornelius, holding $80.93 worth of goods (a watch, an edible thong, a vibrator and "BJ Blast" oral-sex candy), was apprehended at the mall food court, having apparently (according to the police report) "fallen asleep at a table while tying his shoe." [Bay City Times, 1-7-2015] 2015 COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, it's a good time to be thinking about family. Consider delving more deeply into your genealogy. Research your roots, and you may be surprised at what you discover. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 All that hard work you have been putting in will finally start to pay off, Taurus. It's quite possible you will receive some good news soon. Don't forget to go out and celebrate. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, major changes could be coming your way and they likely involve your home life. Get ready for a big move or some major renovations to your home. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 This week your thinking could be even sharper than ever. It's a good time to make plans that affect your future, including those pertaining to education or employment. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 If you let your imagination take over, you just may find others are more receptive to this creative way of expressing yourself, Leo. Use every trick to your advantage. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, a recent project of yours could bring about some deserved recognition. It doesn't matter if it is at work or home, being honored can feel good. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, if you feel inspired to express yourself in creative ways this week, go for it. Others may appreciate your sense of humor and may commend you for making them feel better. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, a new visitor or someone from your past may put you in touch with another who could make a difference in your life right now. Changes will spring up rapidly. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Your thoughts may shift to more positive horizons, and your resulting optimism will prove attractive to others. Spread good cheer to as many people as you can. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Listen closely during all conversations, Capricorn. You can always jot down notes later if you really need to remember something in particular. Paying attention this week is crucial. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, the hectic pace you have been keeping may be catching up with you. It will be difficult to keep this up for much longer, so start to pare down your responsibilities. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 You may receive a call, text or email today that turns your life in a new direction, Pisces. Just wait for all of those doors to open for you. Amy Alkon