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FEATURES Dear Annie: My hus- band and I own a small business. We both work at other full-time jobs, and we also have three children, so life is hectic and busy. I am uncomfortable with the intensity of a relation- ship he is having with one of our employees. ''Molly'' is a single woman with children. She is a terrific employee, and a large part of our business depends on her. My husband is a good man and has taken her under his wing to help her through a difficult time. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I have expressed concern about their relationship, and he compares it to any good friendship. We are trying to use this situation as a wake-up call to get refocused on our relationship. Yet, I often feel he is placating me. As long as Molly is in the picture, I continue to struggle with my reaction to their ''friend- ship.'' I am in counseling, but my husband is a bit dismissive about the process. Would it be reasonable to talk to Molly and explain my concerns? Perhaps if she knew what was going on, she would set some limits on the situation. To those employees who see themselves in this situation: Please consider how your relation- ship can affect someone else's mar- riage and family. — Sad Dear Sad: We're not entirely he put her welfare before yours? Is your intimate life suffering? Please discuss these things with your coun- selor. sure what you are objecting to, other than the fact that Molly is single and works closely with your husband. This doesn't necessarily mean anything is going on. Does he share with her things that are private issues within your marriage? Does he discuss things with her that he ought to be dis- cussing with you? Does he spend a lot of time with her that isn't business related? Is he secretive or distant? Does Dear Annie: At what point am I supposed to call my uncles by their first names only? I am a 59-year-old male and recently spoke with my ''Uncle Bill'' on the phone. I referred to him as ''Uncle Bill,'' and he screamed, ''I'm just Bill!'' So now I wonder about all my other relatives. I will soon be hosting a family reunion and don't want to create a problem. Am I too old to keep on referring to my uncles as uncles? I talked to my older brother about this, and he hasn't a clue what to do. I love my relatives and don't want to hurt their feelings. So what is the cor- rect form of address? — Eagerly Awaiting in California Dear California: This is entirely a matter of personal choice. Your Uncle Tuesday, April 24, 2012 – Daily News 5A Husband's connection to worker upsetting Bill obviously wants to be ''just Bill,'' but your ''Aunt Mary'' might love that you still use the full title. Many people stop using ''Aunt'' or ''Uncle'' when they reach adulthood. Since this has not been the case in your family, please ask each relative for his or her preference. (We suspect most of them won't care either way.) Dear Annie: ''At the End of Our Rope'' described a common problem: having a young adult child who does drugs, still lives at home and doesn't work. A friend dealt with this well. When their son was 19, they refused to let him live at home unless he found a job or went back to school and took a drug test once a week. He refused and was ousted, although he was allowed to come home to eat, shower and do laundry. Gamblers suffering anxiety can find help TOR K: I used to gamble once a year, on a trip to Vegas. But lately my life- long battle with anxiety has gotten worse — and so has my gambling. Are they related? What can I do? DEAR DOC- After a year of sleeping on friends' couches and in his car, he was arrest- ed for DUI. It took several more months before he finally agreed to the drug testing and found a job. This young man now rides his bike to work, tests clean and is building his life again. — It Can Work Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Music festival set for Thursday of Tehama County are sponsoring the 33rd Warren Barker Public Schools Music Festival featuring music groups from Berrendos, Vista and Red Bluff High School. The Masonic Lodges The Festival will be held at the Performing Arts Center at Red Bluff High School Thursday April 26, at 7 p.m. and the public is invited. There is no charge for admission. New this year is the faculty jazz band featur- ing local music teach- ers. Also, pre music will be the jazz piano stylings of Meredith Love and the jazz vocal stylings of Brianna Pen- ner. conductor arranger for motion pictures and television. was master of Vesper Lodge in Red Bluff, one of his projects was to start the music festival. Warren was certainly interested in music. At the age of 24 he When Warren Barker was appointed chief arranger for "The Rail- road Hour," the prime musical program of NBC. Barker was associat- ed with the 20th Centu- ry Fox, Columbia and Metro-Goldyn-Mayer studios as composer, Salvation Army to kick-off Red Shield campaign Salvation Army Week in May by kicking off a "Red Shield Campaign" May 1-20, and serving free Salva- tion Army donuts during National Salvation Army Week, May 14-20. The Salvation Army Red Bluff Corps is celebrating er at a few local businesses in town. The businesses are encouraged to ask customers if they would like to donate $1 to "Buy a Red Shield." Donors will get to write their name at the bottom of a Red Shield and have it displayed at the participating company. The compa- nies will then donate Red Shield profits to The Salva- tion Army. The Red Shield Campaign is a three-week fund rais- He had composed and conducted music for more than 30 different television series, includ- ing seven years as com- poser and conductor of the highly rated comedy series, "Bewitched." The National Acade- my of Television Arts and Sciences honored him in 1970 for his orig- inal music written for the award winning series, "My World and Welcome To It." He was an arranger for the oscar winning motion picture "Hello Dolly." His compositions and arrangements have been performed and recorded by a variety of musical artists from Frank Sina- tra to the Hollywood Bowl and Cincinnati Pops Orchestras. Barker received com- missions from many outstanding music orga- nizations including the U.S. Air Force Band, the Royal Australian Navy, the North Shore Concert Band, and the Norwegian Army Staff Band. Come and honor this great musician and help honor local youth musi- cians. DEAR READ- ER: Gambling and anxiety do often go hand in hand. People who gamble report feeling less anxious while gambling because the excitement masks anxious feelings. This relief can become addictive, and the impulse to gamble can become overwhelming. So for many gamblers, reducing anxiety by some other means is necessary in order to control the urge to gamble as a way of dealing with anxiety. There are sev- eral techniques that can help. ways that people can coun- teract anxiety is by learning relaxation techniques. Relaxing means more than just sitting on the couch watching TV or a movie. Unless the show is com- pletely absorbing, anxious thoughts can keep breaking through. One of the most powerful Relaxation exercises can teach you to identify worry triggers. Then you can defuse them and break the cycle of anxiety. It's best to do them every day. The more you do them, the more positive Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Relaxation- response tech- niques slow down your heartbeat and breathing. Your body uses less oxy- gen and blood flows more easily throughout your body. stress. deep breathing or breath focus. Find a comfortable, quiet place to sit or lie down. Begin by taking a slow, deep breath. The air coming in through your nose should move downward into your lower belly. Let your abdomen expand fully. Now breathe out through your mouth (or your nose, if that feels more natural). One way to relax is through Put one hand on your abdomen, just below your belly button. Feel your hand rise about an inch each time you inhale and fall about an inch each time you exhale. Your chest will rise slightly, too. Remember to relax your belly so that each inhalation expands it fully. As you breathe out, imagine that the air leaving your body carries tension and anxiety away with it. When you first start, 10 minutes of breath focus is a reasonable goal. Gradually add time until your sessions are about 15 to 20 minutes long. have. There are many types of relaxation exercises, from the deep breathing exercise I describe below, to mindful- ness meditation, to exercises such as yoga and tai chi. The goal of these exercis- es is to bring about the relax- ation response, which is the opposite of the stress response. By regularly prac- ticing techniques that evoke the relaxation response, you can help your body reduce the cumulative effects of effect they will If you need more help in controlling gambling as a response to anxiety, you can find more infor- mation in the new book "Change Your Gambling, Change Your Life" by Harvard Medical School's Howard Shaffer, M.D. You can find out more about it at www.AskDoctorK.com. Other treatments for anx- iety also can help. Anti-anx- iety medicines and cognitive behavioral therapy (a form of "talk therapy") are effec- tive treatments for anxiety as well. Second annual Spring Bloom event Lucero Olive Oil proudly announces its second annual Spring Bloom event is sched- uled for Saturday, May 12. The Red Shield Campaign is aimed at raising funds for the summer season. "We see that the summer months are harder for us to raise money, but the need to feed, clothe and help the general public continues," Lt. Heather Paap said. "What a lot of people don't know is we get to send low income kids to our away camp during the summer, and some of these funds we raise through this Campaign will help with that among other services The Salvation Army provides for all of Tehama County." To further celebrate Salvation Army Week, the Red Bluff Corps will be giving away the famous Salvation Army Donuts during business hours May 14-20th. "Donut Girls made donuts in soldiers' helmets to boost morale on the war fields of World War II," Paap said. "We will be using the original recipe the Donut Girls used back in the day." trivia about The Salvation Army in WW II, and about services The Salvation Army Red Bluff Corps offers to residents of Tehama County. For more information contact Paap at 527-8530. To People can stop by to get a free donut, learn some Come out and cele- brate the olive bloom with a picnic and a tour of the groves guided by Dewey and Bobby Lucero. Visit with friends and keep up with the latest Salvation Army news, like us on Facebook: The Salvation Army Red Bluff Corps. ★★ family and learn more about the olive bloom. If you've never seen an olive tree in bloom, here is your chance. We are also excited to feature a wine garden, a new addition to the event, including 10 local wineries from around Northern California. The event starts at noon at the Lucero mill and tasting room, and will wrap up at 5 p.m. In addition to tours of an ancient olive grove, there will be wine tast- ing, an olive oil discus- sion panel, guided mill tours, a kid zone and the picnic. Local artisan food Rent a unit & get 1/2 OFFMonth Each NEED SPACE? Have we got a deal for you! for up to 1 year. Some restrictions apply. GOOD for 8x10 & 10x24 Units We offer a $25 check for referrals upon rental. 64 Mulberry Ave., Red Bluff • 527-1755 website: www.americanselfstorage.biz AMERICAN SELF-STORAGE ★ vendors Bianchi Orchards, Pedrozo Dairy & Cheese Compa- ny, From the Hearth Bakery and Café, Droga Chocolate Confections, Skylake Pomegranates, and Lucero Organic Strawberries from Lodi, Ca, will be there offer- ing their wares. The grove tours start at 12:30 p.m. and leave every hour following the first departure. Dewey and his Father Bobby will explain the bloom and answer questions about olive culture. There will also be a guided tour of a Super High Density grove out- side of Corning. Tours will begin at the mill, travel to the groves, then return to the mill at the end of the tour. make your reservations early by calling 824- Space is limited, so 2190. The picnic with the Lucero Family starts at 1:30 p.m. and Turri Family Farms and Blush Catering will be offer- ing food for purchase. The wine tasting gar- den will feature local wineries from noon- 4:30 p.m., and is spon- sored by Slow Food Shasta Cascade (addi- tional fee for wine tast- ing). The Tom Drinnon and Dueces Wild band will be filling the air with live music between 1:30 and 4 p.m. Event Parking will be pick-up locations. The shuttle service will con- clude at 5:30 p.m. Lucero Olive Oil is the result of three gener- ations of olive heritage in Tehama County, pro- ducing some of the most award winning extra vir- gin olive oils in Califor- nia. The mill and tasting room are open 7 days a week 9 a.m.-5 p.m. and are located at 2120 Loleta Ave, just off Highway 99W between Corning and the Truck Stops. available off-site at the Love's Travel Stop at 2120 South Avenue and Linnet's Tire Shop at 1090 99W with shuttle bus service to and from Lucero Olive Oil. will begin at noon from each location at desig- nated Lucero shuttle The shuttle service During your visit, sample our 12 olive oils on tap and 6 balsamic vinegars, along with a tasty assortment of tape- nades, table olives, and mustards. Saturday, May 12 will be packed with activities, and the Lucero family hopes you can join them.