Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/616164
DECEMBER 16-22, 2015 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS It's Always Darkest Afer the Spawn I'm an unhappily married 30-year-old woman. I've been with my husband for 10 years, but we only got married seven months ago. We argue almost daily, and he spends all of his time working. Because we fight so much, the thought of him touching me has become repulsive, so we are rarely intimate. Though these problems long proceeded our marriage, I felt I needed to move forward in life (marry, have kids, etc.), so I went through with the wedding. I recently got sexually involved with a co- worker, and I think I'm falling in love with him. We have all the loving passion I don't with my husband. However, I want to have children before I'm 35. My husband can afford to raise a family, and my co-worker cannot. I can't go on like this much longer, and I don't know what to do. — Miserable Sure, there comes a point in a woman's life when conceiving and carrying a baby to term is miraculous. But keep in mind that even good marriages get strained by the addition of children. It's also seriously unfair to bring kids into a marriage that's tanking. Sociologist Paul Amato calls children "the innocent victims of their parents' inability to maintain harmonious and stable homes." Reviewing the research on divorce's effects on children, Amato explains that "compared with children with continuously married parents, children with divorced parents … score significantly lower on measures of academic achievement, conduct, psychological adjustment, self-concept and social relations." This isn't to say enemy combatant parents who stay together are doing right by their kids. Amato notes that some studies show that children in "high-conflict households … are worse off than children with divorced parents." Obviously, staying together "for the children" is a particularly bad idea when you and the husband you despise don't even have the little buggers yet. So why did you make this "repulsive" guy your husband instead of your ex-boyfriend? There is a way out, and it's gritting our teeth and admitting mistakes instead of marrying them and making little bundles of stressjoy with them. For you, admitting that you screwed up by marrying this guy — the first step in unmarrying him — would take accepting the potential cost: You might not find a suitable candidate for daddyhood in time (or ever). Yes, that would be rough — but so would the possible alternative: having an adorable pair of twins who go to Harvard — because it's a great place to mug dazed freshmen so they can feed their staggering meth habit. Copyright Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD After certain takeoffs and landings were delayed on Nov. 7 at Paris' Orly airport (several days before the terrorist attacks), a back trace on the problem forced the airport to disclose that its crucial "DECOR" computer system still runs on Windows 3.1 software (introduced in 1992). DECOR's function is to estimate the spacing between aircraft on fog-bound, visually impossible runways, and apparently it must shut down whenever the airport scrambles to find an available 3.1-qualified technician. [Vice.com, 11-13-2015] Cultural Diversity Weird Japan (continued): Sony manufactured a robot dog ("Aibo") from 1996 to 2006 for a legion of pet-fanciers, but now that supplies of spare parts and specialized repairers are dwindling, many of the beloved family "canines" are "dying" off. Not to worry, though, for many "surviving" owners are conducting elaborate, expensive — and even religious — burials with widely attended funerals for their Aibos. (A March 2015 Newsweek report offered a dazzling photographic array of Aibo funerals.) Aibo support groups proliferate online because, said one repair service director, "(W)e think that somehow, (Aibos) really have souls." [Newsweek, 3-15-2015] Leading Economic Indicators Art Basel, the annual weeklong festival for "One-Percenters" in Miami Beach, is scheduled for Dec. 1 to Dec. 6, and among the many excesses is the sale of on-demand caviar, available by text message, to be delivered in person within the hour, at $275 for a 125-gram tin. Miami New Times calls Art Basel "ComicCon for the world's moneyed elite," and among the extravaganzas is an "exotic dance club sheltered inside a greenhouse." Four thousand artists, from 32 countries, are participating. [Miami New Times, 11-17-2015] New World Order: "Crowdsourcing" start-ups (such as GoFundMe and Kickstarter) raise money online for projects such as underappreciated entrepreneurial ventures or families needing help with medical expenses. Day-trading dabbler Joe Campbell went online in November to beg for assistance after being crushed by a bet of the type that many say wrecked the U.S. economy in 2007-08. He held a pessimistic "short" position in his account on KaloBios Pharmaceuticals (KBIO) — hoping to exploit traders overly optimistic about the company. However, overnight NASDAQ trading awakened him with news that KBIO's price had skyrocketed in frenzied trading and that Campbell now owed his broker $131,000 — and Campbell's new GoFundMe post stoically asks strangers to please help him pay that off. [Marketwatch, 11-20-2015] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 This can be a terrific week for you, Aries. Make the most of every moment and don't be surprised as you successfuly juggle many different things at once. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Work may seem overwhelming at times in the week ahead, Taurus. Keep your head down and stay focused on the tasks at hand. Others will be impressed. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, make the most of an opportunity to move forward with your goals. You have plenty of energy, and your mind is focused. Hang around with like-minded individuals as well. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Don't get too wrapped up in other people's business, Cancer. You don't want to intrude on others, and your loved ones are fully capable of solving their own problems. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, you may feel like you're on top of the world this week. That's because you have the potential to conquer an elusive goal in the next few days. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Act now, Virgo, or you might get left behind. You can't sit around and wait for things to unfold. Sometimes you have to take charge, and this is one of those times. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 There may be some conflict in your world this week, Libra, especially when it involves your emotions and potential disputes. Keep your mind open and try new things. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, concern yourself with substantive actions and not empty promises. This will make it easier for you to make decisions about pressing issues. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Try not to spread yourself too thin, Sagittarius. If you do, you will not be able to put your best foot forward. If you feel yourself getting stressed, step back. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, now is a great time to take a step back and exhale. Avoid taking on any additional responsibilities. Instead, take some time to recharge. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, let friends know how much they mean to you because you might not say it often enough. Others will appreciate your candor and generosity. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, you tend to hold your feelings inside and that can be unhealthy. Share your feelings more often so negative energy will not build. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard