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Thursday, January 19, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES Beau's brazen boys belay bridal bent Dear Annie: I am in a relationship with a widower. He is a thoughtful person and works two jobs. His two adult sons live in his home with their girlfriends. Neither of the boys pays rent. Nor do they buy groceries or clean- ing supplies. They never offer to take their father out to dinner or do anything spe- cial for him. Their father buys their vehicles and pays their insurance. The house is in shambles. The boys' only responsibility is to take the trash to the dump and mow the yard in the summer. They do this grudgingly and not very well. The boys show little respect for their father. They leave beer bottles and dirty dishes all over the kitchen and their shoes, dirty clothes and trash all over the house. No one cleans a bath- room or vacuums a floor. They are busy working out, doing what they want with their friends or going out drinking. One of the girlfriends is always broke and looking for a hand- out, but she has money to get ham- mered every weekend. She doesn't lift a finger around the house and has the nerve to tell my boyfriend what he needs to buy to make her more comfortable. My boyfriend thinks that this is normal behavior and that I am the one with the problem. He believes it is his responsibility to take care of them, because they don't have "good'' jobs that pay a lot of money. He would never kick them out. We don't live together Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar and never will under these circumstances. My boyfriend reads your col- umn every day. Will you tell him I'm not the only one who thinks this situation stinks? — Kick 'Em Out! Dear Kick: Some par- ents have such soft spots for their children that they become enablers, allowing the kids to postpone adult- hood. This is unfortunate for the children. They never learn to support themselves or man- age their money and are forever dependent on others to take care of them. However, these are not your children, and how your boyfriend chooses to deal with them is only your business if you marry him. Right now, we don't recommend it. Dear Annie: I have been at my job for more than 20 years and will be retiring soon. Co-workers have been asking whether I would like a party and gifts. I've made it clear that I want absolutely nothing and politely suggested that they donate to the local food bank. I don't like these people. I will not ''keep in touch.'' I am happy to leave this miserable job. So if they give me a cake or gifts, is it OK to simply express my thanks, or do I have to send a thank-you note? All gifts will end up in the trash, and I have no intention of participating in any celebration. — New York Grouch Dear Grouch: Verbal thanks are The Shasta Livestock Auctionyard will hold a Spe- cial Bred Cow and Pair Sale with lots of calves and light yearlings on Friday, Jan. 20. There will be 28 Angus Heifer Pairs, 300 lb calves, from UC-Davis, Foothill and Anaplaz exposed / All vaccinations current, AI Bred Back to Angus bulls in sufficient for an office cake or party. If you are given a gift, however, a thank-you note is in order. We think you can manage it, especially because it's likely to be the last communication you will have with these people. It never hurts to depart on a gracious note. Dear Annie: Our experience as an over-50 couple has been entirely different from that of the couple who were having the problems with intimacy. When my husband and I retired, we both got back in shape after 40 years behind desks. I felt better and younger than I did at 25. I took up belly-dancing, and even though I can't seem to make it past the beginner level, my husband thinks it is very sexy. I try to build up his confidence in the bedroom even when things are less than perfect, and he does the same for me. We both have loads of fun trying new things, and after this many years, there is absolutely no pressure to perform. Sex after 50 is awesome. — Flirtin' in Florida Dear Florida: Good for you! We love your attitude. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. How to avoid an audit Special livestock sale set for Friday WASHINGTON, DC — As IRS systematical- ly analyzes the data from past years, the underreporting of income remains the biggest contributing fac- tor to the "tax gap" – the difference between how much IRS projects it should be collecting and how much is actually collected. While many people like the idea of shoring up our nation's finances and chipping away at the national debt by collecting overdue taxes, it would be a chal- lenge to find anyone who wants to be audited. Any number of small mistakes can result in that fateful communica- tion from IRS: a faulty digit in your Social Security number, a math error, entering withhold- ing or estimated tax pay- ments on the wrong line (surprisingly common) can all attract the atten- tion of our friends at IRS. Statistically, the more money you make, the more likely it is that you'll be audited. "If you have not filed a tax return in a few years and then filing back returns all at once will not necessarily trig- ger an audit. Getting it filed will help to avoid non-filing penalties and interest as well as pre- venting the IRS from assessing a tax that would not be correct," said Rose Hablitzel, EA partner in Lassen Tax Professionals. Taxpayers feel over- whelmed once they go beyond the filing due date and have a difficult time getting back on track. Taking that first step to seek help to try to minimize the tax due and the associated penalties and interest is critical, Hablitzel coun- sels. Citing a reasonable cause for non-filing will help alleviate some of the penalties and may help to avoid an audit. If you ever do get audited, you'll be in good shape if you have documents that provide proof of all your income, expenses, deductions and credits. This is especially true for the deductions involving charitable contributions (remember to get receipts and appraisals for any chari- table contributions), home offices, meals and entertainment and dependents. These are among the most com- mon deductions exam- ined by IRS. Home Offices. Pho- tos of your home office and a schematic of the office floor plan will support your home office deductions. Be prepared to show invoic- es and monthly bills for any kind of office equip- ment, utilities and tech- nology used in your home office. Note that if you are renting business space, you probably don't qualify to deduct a home office. If for some reason, however, you genuinely need both a rented office and a home office, include a disclo- sure statement explain- ing the situation to IRS. If you are self- employed, another fac- tor that statistically makes you more likely to be audited is filing a Schedule C. Self- employed taxpayers fil- ing Schedule C run a ten times greater risk of being audited than those who have incorporated. And there's this bonus: if you choose to incor- porate, you'll be eligible to claim more deduc- tions than you would if you were an unincorpo- rated business owner fil- ing Schedule C. Meals and Entertain- ment. For these deduc- tions, good documenta- tion can save you from a world of hurt if you wind up in an audit. Holding onto receipts with dates, times, amounts spent, names of your companions and notes on what kind of business was transacted will back up your claim that these items were deductible. Disputed Dependents. The often disputed dependent claim is another area where good documentation can save the day. If you and an ex-spouse are both claiming your children as dependents, you should be able to sub- stantiate your assertion with a separation or divorce agreement that outlines who is able to claim which children as dependents, where the children will live and when, and who pays for what parts of the chil- dren's support. Fear of an audit should not keep you from taking advantage of legitimate tax bene- fits. To make sure you don't overlook allow- able credits and deduc- tions, start keeping bet- ter records, and put an Enrolled Agent or other Agents Enrolled Agents ("EAs") are tax special- ists licensed by the US Department of the Trea- sury. To locate an Enrolled Agent in your area, go to the "Find an Enrolled Agent Directo- ry" at www.naea.org. Therapy can help hoarders manage DEAR DOC- TOR K: I have an aunt whose house is filled to the ceil- ing with junk in some places. I worry about her safety navigating around all that stuff. I think she is a hoarder. What causes this, and how can I help her? for serious injury. Also, dust and mold can cause asthma and other allergic reactions. Unfortunately, Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. DEAR READER: If your aunt's house has become so filled with "stuff" that she can't get around easily, I'm inclined to agree with you. She may indeed suffer from compulsive hoard- ing. Hoarders accumulate objects of questionable value in large and disorga- nized amounts. Until recently, compul- sive hoarding was consid- ered a less-frequent symp- tom of obsessive-compul- sive disorder (OCD). But the majority of hoarders don't have other OCD symptoms, such as com- pulsions and repetitive behaviors. Compulsive hoarders December also Dispersal of Bill Crum Cow Herd / McArthur with pictures on http://www.shastalive- stock.com/crumcows.htm plus pairs from C.W. John- son Ranch / Ravendale, plus Bred Cows from Criss Bros & Cal Worthington and many others! For more information call 530-347-3793. may have a hard time throwing things away. This is true even when the things in question aren't valuable or useful. One of my patients with this problem once said, "If I throw it away, it's gone forever." If it has no value, what's wrong with it being gone forever? In many cases, compul- licensed tax professional on your business team. If you do wind up being audited, you'll have an experienced tax profes- sional in your corner, able to speak directly to IRS on your behalf. About Enrolled sive hoarders may accu- mulate so much stuff that they can no longer use their home the way it's supposed to be used. They may be embarrassed at the state of the home and withdraw socially. This can lead to social isola- tion. A hoarder's home can become so disordered and unsafe that it's difficult or impossible to navigate. Hoarders are much more vulnerable to falls and serious injuries, particu- larly if they are older than 60. As we age, our reflex- es and balance get worse, and our muscles get weak- er. Add in a house full of things to trip over, and you've got a prescription family interven- tions don't always help. They can cause rifts in rela- tionships. If you want to help your aunt, be available to her, but it may be best to leave the heavy lifting to the professionals. What to do? First, ask your doctor to help you identify a mental health professional who can help. Most moderate- sized communities have professionals with special experience dealing with compulsive behaviors. Once you get that name, you can have a talk with your aunt. OCD and depression are sometimes tied to compulsive hoard- ing, and there are effective treatments for both. Hoarding also can be an early sign of dementia. If you think your aunt's memory, her ability to speak or her ability to organize her activities is starting to fail, a neurolo- gist can be helpful. Another approach to finding a therapist with experience in the treat- ment of hoarding is to check the hoarding sec- tion of the International OCD Foundation website, ocfoundation.org/hoard- ing. A behavioral therapy program may help your aunt. These programs help hoarders recognize and deal with their distorted thinking or beliefs. They also help strengthen hoarders' organizational and decision-making skills and manage anxiety. Therapists may also make home visits to help with sorting, organizing and discarding. In short, there are many options to help your aunt. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Save on your classified with these coupons! You choose the number of times! No limit on the number of ads per customer, but each customer order MUST BE ACCOMPANIED WITH THE COUPON for the special(s) you want to use. 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