Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/52934
NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Intelligent Design: If the male nursery web spider were a human, he would be sternly denounced as a vulgar cad. Researcher Maria Jose Albo of Denmark's Aarhus University told Live Science in November that the spiders typically obtain sex by making valuable "gifts" to females (usually, high-nutrition insects wrapped in silk), but if lacking resources, a male cleverly packages a fake gift (usually a piece of flower) also in silk but confoundingly wound so as to distract her as she unwraps it — and then mounts her before she discovers the hoax. Albo also found that the male is not above playing dead to coax the female into relaxing her guard as she approaches the "carcass" — only to be jumped from behind for sex. [Yahoo News-Live Science, 11-14-2011] The Continuing Crisis Son Theodore Zimmick and two other Chuck Sheppard relatives filed a lawsuit in November against the St. Stanislaus cemetery in Pittsburgh for the unprofessional burial of Theodore's mother, Agnes, in 2009. Agnes had purchased an 11-by-8-foot plot in 1945, but when she finally passed away, the graveyard had become so crowded that, according to the lawsuit, workers were forced to dig such a small hole that they had to jump up and down on the casket and whack it with poles to fit it into the space. [Pittsburgh Post- Gazette, 11-29-2011] Managers of Prospect Park in Brooklyn, N.Y., decided recently to relocate the statue of Abraham Lincoln that since 1895 had occupied a seldom-visited site, and whose advocates over the years had insisted be given more prominence. It turned out that the most viable option was to swap locations with a conspicuous 1906 statue of Dr. Alexander Skene. Lincoln is certainly universally revered, but Dr. Skene has advocates, too, and some (according to a December Wall Street Journal report) are resisting the relocation because Dr. Skene (unlike Lincoln) was a Brooklynite, and Dr. Skene (unlike Lincoln) had a body part named after him ("Skene's glands," thought to be "vital" in understanding the "G spot"). [Wall Street Journal, 12-10-2011] The two hosts of the Dutch TV show Guinea Pigs apparently followed through on their plans in December to eat pieces of each other (fried in sunflower oil) in order to describe the taste. Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno underwent surgery to have small chunks removed for cooking, with Zeno perhaps faring worse (a piece of Storm's "bottom") compared to Storm (who got part of Zeno's abdomen). [ 12- 20-2011] COPYRIGHT 2011 CHUCK SHEPHERD WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY For the Week of Jan. 22 ARIES (March 21-April 19) As any accom- plished movie director can attest, there's such a thing as over-rehearsing. You'll get prepared for the busy week ahead, but there are some things that, gladly, can't be anticipated. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Concentrate on solving a problem for your boss, customer or client, and you'll be a star. Avoid explaining yourself along the way or making any sort of excuse. You don't have to show people the inner workings of a job in order to have their faith. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Romantic relationships run a natural course that usually includes a mellowing phase. So if you notice that a sense of urgency and overwhelming passion has been replaced with mutual respect and deeper understanding, this is a good sign. A sense of excitement will soon return, in a different form. CANCER (June 22-July 22) Over the course of the week, you'll get in touch with your per- ceived limitations and also with what motivates you. This might come from the urge to delve into your subconscious. There are many meth- ods for doing so, including dream interpreta- tion and self-hypnosis. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) With a little inspira- tion and a lot of follow through, you will soon construct an amazing adventure. Imagine how you might evolve and who you might become. Make a plan that involves travel, learning, read- ing and conversation. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) It's time to get a snapshot of where you are. Identify what is already working very well in your life and what is not working so well. Once you identify the red dot that tells you "you are here," you will see the route to where you want to go. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) You will be called on to defend yourself or someone close to you. Stay calm and as unemotional as possible. Once someone gets under your skin, you'll have a hard time controlling your tongue, and you may say things you will regret for a long time afterward. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) You'll receive cooperation from those who haven't been very helpful up until now. The truth is that they either didn't know what to do, or didn't know how to do it. The multitude of helpful examples in the immediate environment will trigger a wave of participation. . SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Your need for security doesn't feel nearly as urgent as your need for spontaneity, freedom and space. You'll put the element of surprise into all you do. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Every surface around has a new polish and gleam, though it's no cleaner than before. Your new level of attention makes you see things differently. The common places you go seem to light up when this person enters the scene. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Add incentives for tending to your main priorities. A sense of urgency, perhaps in the form of a deadline or a special reward, will help to reel in your atten- tion. Your busy mind needs excitement to keep it focused. Otherwise, you're likely to spin out on meaningless and unimportant tangents. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) There's a time for dreaming and a time for doing. You're ready to bring the airy visions of yesterday down to earth. You'll plant your feet fi rmly and get to work. You will be much more analytical than you've been in a while, too, which helps you move your efforts along sensibly. By Holiday Mathis ADVICE GODDESS Witchful Thinking I'm a retired pastor in my 50s. A nearby church wanted my help with their Christmas musical and I asked my wife of fi ve years, who played bass at my church, to join me. She became angry at this suggestion and said I should do my own thing on Christmas and she'd do hers. She then announced that she'd be spending Christmas Eve with her (single, lonely) ex-boyfriend, staying the night at his place and hiking with him on Christmas Day. I was taken aback. I said this had the "whiff of adultery" and wondered if she wanted to end the marriage. She fl ew into a rage. How could I even think of calling her an adulteress, etc.? Their overnight got canceled because his son came home for Christmas, but she's still mad — barely talking to or looking at me. I confess, I'm a confl ict avoider and in counseling for it. But what do I do about a woman whose rage can last for several hours to a month or more? Who gives me lengthy, pedantic lectures about how pathetic and hopeless I am? If I say "Then why don't you leave me?" she says "Because I love you." — Stuck Amy Alkon Although your wife is engaging in outrageous emotional abuse, your reaction — your fear of her rage, which she uses to control you and get her way — is what keeps it going. You might have had a different relationship dynamic (or a different woman altogether) if only you'd put your foot down — stood up to her instead of always lying down and rolling over so she could better kick you in the head. You should read No More Mr. Nice Guy, by reformed doormat Dr. Robert Glover. Glover lays out how confl ict- avoidant men go limp in the face of abuse because of their approval- seeking (driven by low self-worth and fear of abandonment) and their hiding of fl aws and mistakes (instead of accepting themselves as fallible and human). Transforming oneself from a chewtoy among men doesn't happen overnight. Until you build self-respect, act like somebody who has it. Set standards for how you'll be treated, and inform your exploding wife that you expect them to be met (which may take anger management), and tell her that you'll walk if the rage and unloving treatment continue. And mean it. So, if she wants to have a little overnight with her ex, tell her that's her prerogative — when your divorce is fi nal. Remember, you're never too old to be happy, and to instill healthy behavior, and to have something a little warmer and sexier at Christmas than a lecture about what a pathetic loser you are under the mistletoe. Amy Alkon all rights reserved. JANUARY 18-24, 2012 UCW 23