Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/52085
Friday, January 6, 2012 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Grandpa's grumpy gathering galls gal Dear Annie: Seven years ago, I married into a wonderful family. It was my second marriage, and the family accepted my 10- year-old son as their own. My father-in-law has always been nice to me, but I've been told there was a lot of verbal abuse when my husband and his sib- lings were growing up. In the past couple of years, Grandpa has shown some symptoms of dementia. At the last family gathering, my Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar son, now 17, went into the kitchen to talk to Grandpa. From the dining room, we all heard Grandpa scream at my son, some nonsense about never returning a book. My hus- band's family just sat there behav- ing as if nothing was happening, so I went in to rescue my child. I know Grandpa won't remember how he acted, but I am having a problem dealing with the rest of my husband's family. Not one of them said a thing or offered my son a word of comfort or sympathy. I stood there crying as the whole family sat at the table with eyes downcast. My husband apologized for not handling it better, but doesn't want to do anything to damage the rela- tionship with his siblings. But they are not the loving family I thought they were. I feel everyone at that table owes my son and me an apol- ogy. I want my husband to be as angry as I am. I no longer wish to attend family gatherings, because I want to make it clear that their behavior was hurtful. What is a good compro- mise that would allow me a little dignity (so they know I'm not a doormat) but still permit my husband and chil- dren to be with the family? — Furious in Florida Dear Furious: We are not excusing the family's behavior, but they have been living with an angry Grand- pa for years. Their response implied self-preservation rather than ''not loving.'' Consider this an opportunity to teach them how to react appropri- ately to such outbursts. Have a fam- ily powwow. Tell them how upset you were that they didn't protect your son, and then explain exactly how you wish they would have behaved instead. Also speak to your son. He's old enough to understand that Grandpa isn't quite himself and these rants are beyond his control. Dear Annie: We have young adult children who stayed at our home over the holidays and spent the majority of time engaged with their individual smart phones. They rarely interacted with other family members. I found the behavior dis- respectful and tried feebly to say something, without success. My husband and I do not want to accept this rude behavior again. What is the proper way to set boundaries with these young adults, one of whom is still being support- ed by us? — Competing for Face Time Dear Competing: Set ground rules for when the kids are in your presence, but don't do it ''feebly.'' Allow them to use their phones when they are lounging around, but during meals, insist that all phones be turned off. Remind them when necessary. If you engage the kids in a conversation, ask them to please put the phones away for the dura- tion. Be pleasant, but firm and con- sistent. Dear Annie: Here's how I solved the problem of kids who don't appreciate what you give them. My nephew is like that. I thought he received too many toys for his birthday and Christmas, so I always bought him clothes. One time, he reluctantly tore the paper off my gift, peeked inside and casually tossed it aside, barely managing to squeeze out a ''thank you.'' That was the last Christmas he received a wrapped gift from me. From that time forward, I took the money I would have spent and put it in a savings account. I would place the deposit slip with the balance inside the birthday or Christmas card. For his high school gradua- tion, he will receive a check for $600. — Not Frustrated Anymore in Virginia Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. COURT ROUND-UP The following defen- dants were sentenced in Tehama County Superior Court, according to the Tehama County District Attorney's Office: —————— Recent State Prison Commitments • Wayne Donald Modine was sentenced to three years and eight months in state prison for sexual penetration by for- eign object, under 16, lewd act upon a child. Deputies received a report that Modine was having sexual relations with the victim who was 14 at the time the inci- dents occurred. • Michael Anthony Rogers was sentenced to three years and eight months in state prison for evading an officer, willful disregard, special allega- tion prior felony, posses- sion of marijuana for sale. An officer attempted to conduct a traffic stop on Rogers' vehicle when Rogers sped away and a pursuit ensued. Rogers continued driving his vehicle at a high rate of speed until he came to a stop, exited his vehicle and fled on foot. Inside the vehicle officers locat- ed several pounds of mar- ijuana. • Scott Allen Duffer was sentenced to three years in state prison for possession of a firearm by a felon, discharge of a firearm with gross negli- gence. Duffer and the victim were in separate cars and both stopped at the same intersection. Duffer bran- dished a handgun at the victim and continued to follow him in his vehicle. Duffer then drove his vehicle beside the vic- tim's and fired several shots in his direction before fleeing the scene. • Brian Keith Goodan was sentenced to two years and four months in state prison for posses- sion of a controlled sub- stance, special allega- James W. Tysinger, Jr. M.D. Eye Physician & Surgeon Fellow American Academy of Ophthalmology We accept Medical, Medicare & most Insurances Office Hours: Tues-Wed-Thurs 8am-4:30pm Mon & Fri 1pm-4:30pm For Emergencies, After Hours, Week-ends, Call 530-567-5001 345 Hickory St. Red Bluff Tel: (530) 529-4733 Fax: (530) 529-1114 tion-prior felony, under the influence of a con- trolled substance; trans- portation of a controlled substance. Goodan was originally granted formal probation on both cases. He violat- ed his probation when he was found in possession of methamphetamine as well as testing positive for methamphetamine. • Christopher Stewart was sentenced to two years in state prison for possession of a con- trolled substance. Stewart was originally granted formal probation. He violated his probation when he left his drug and alcohol treatment pro- gram and failed to con- tact his probation officer. Recent County Jail Commitments • Jakob Skott Peterson was sentenced to 270 days in Tehama County Jail for lewd act upon a child, unlawful sexual intercourse. Peterson was having sexual relations with the 13-year-old victim. Peterson picked up the victim from her home and refused to advise anyone of her where- abouts until he was arrested several days later. • Richard Allen Hen- nings was sentenced to 185 days in Tehama County Jail for culitvat- ing marijuana. While conducting a probation search of a property officers located Hennings along with sev- eral marijuana plants growing on the property. • Roberto Junior Diaz was sentenced to 180 days in Tehama County Jail for unlawful sexual intercourse. Diaz was contacted and arrested after it was determined he had sexual relations with the 14- year-old victim. • Luis Fernando Pan- toja was sentenced to 90 days in Tehama County Jail for possession of an assault weapon. An officer conducted a traffic stop on a vehicle driven by Pantoja. Inside the vehicle the officer located an assault weapon in the trunk. Upcoming Court Dates -Trials, Prelimi- nary Hearings(PX) & Pre Trial Conferences(PTC): • Victor Hugo Rodriguez will appear in court at 1:15 p.m. on Jan. 9 in Department 2. He is facing the charges of gross vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated, special alle- gation-Fleeing the scene of the crime,-Leaving the scene of an accident. Officer responded to the scene of a hit and run. Upon arrival officers were advised by several witnesses that Rodriguez had taken off in his vehi- cle and hit a parked car. Rodriguez continued dri- January Classes * Friday 13th @10am Fruit Tree Pruning & Care Class Saturday 21st @10am Bare Root Fruit Tree Saturday 28th @10am Rose Pruning & Care Class Please call to reserve a seat Red Bluff Garden Center 527-0886 766 Antelope Blvd. (Next to the Fairground) ving across town and failed to stop for the vic- tim who was walking her bike in a crosswalk. Rodriguez hit the victim with his vehicle and again fled the scene. The victim was taken to the hospital where she died hours later. • Theresa Marie Lewis, also known as Theresa Marie Garcia Lewis, will appear in court at 8 a.m. on Jan. 10 in Deparment 3 for entry of plea. She is facing the charges of attempt: willful, deliber- ate, and premeditated murder, two counts; assault with a deadly weapon, two counts; child abuse, two counts; special allegations great bodily injury, both counts, use of deadly weapon, all counts, great bodily injury, all counts. Officers responded to Lewis' residence after they received a report that the 13-year-old vic- tim had a cut on his neck. Upon arrival officers began investigating the incident and learned Lewis had given the vic- tim pills and slit his throat in a failed attempt to kill him. Lewis was arrested and taken into custody. Try home remedies to treat hemorrhoids DEAR DOC- TOR K: Please help — I have hemorrhoids. What's the best way to treat them? DEAR READ- ER: Hemorrhoids are clusters of veins in the lowest part of the rectum and anus that become swollen and distended. You can have hemor- rhoids without any symp- toms. But hemorrhoids can also have very unpleasant symptoms — rectal pain, itching, soil- ing and bleeding. Hemor- rhoids are rarely danger- ous, however, and there are many treatment options. leading to increased pressure and straining. relieve Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Sitz baths can itching, irritation and mus- cle spasm. A sitz bath is a warm water bath for the buttocks. Sit in a regular bathtub with a few inches of warm water, or Hemorrhoid symptoms can also be caused by other conditions, includ- ing anal warts and fis- sures, Crohn's disease and (rarely) anal cancer. So if you have persistent both- ersome symptoms that you think are caused by hemorrhoids, it's wise to see your doctor. There are several help- ful home treatments. The first thing you should do is boost the fiber in your diet. Eat high-fiber foods (such as prunes, pears, beans, bran cereals and oatmeal), take a fiber sup- plement (there are many varieties available in drug- stores), or both. Fiber softens stools and makes them easier to pass. This reduces pressure on hem- orrhoids, which in turn reduces the risk of bleed- ing, inflammation and swelling. Make sure to take fiber with plenty of fluids. Exercise is another important home remedy for hemorrhoids. Take a brisk walk for 30 minutes a day, at least five days a week. Not only does this have a powerfully positive effect on your health, it also is a great way to stim- ulate your bowels. When you feel the urge, go to the bathroom immediately; don't wait for a more convenient time. Waiting can cause your bowels to back up, buy a small plastic tub that fits over a toilet seat. Try a 20-minute sitz bath after each bowel movement and an additional two or three times a day. (This works best if you're retired.) Afterward, gently pat the area dry. Over-the-counter pain- relief creams can tem- porarily soothe pain, irri- tation and itching. Witch hazel wipes (Tucks) are soothing and have no harmful effects. A small ice pack placed against the anal area for a few minutes may also help. Finally, sitting on cush- ions rather than hard sur- faces can help reduce swelling. If the treatments I've discussed don't help, talk to your doctor. You may benefit from a simple out- patient procedure to treat hemorrhoids. One proce- dure involves rubber rings tightened around the hem- orrhoid. Other procedures, using lasers or infrared light, heat the hemor- rhoids, causing them to shrink. Injecting a chemi- cal into the hemorrhoids (called sclerotherapy) also can shrink them. If your symptoms continue despite these measures, you may need minor surgery to remove your hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are among the most common "minor maladies of man." The good news is that, most of the time, simple home remedies can give you great relief. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. PATH Winter Shelter Jan. 6-27 First Christian Church, 926 Madison Ave. Jan. 27 - March 2 First Church of God, 1005 S. Jack- son St. Dinners on Wednesdays- Feb. 1, 8, 15, 22, 29 at Sun- rise Bible Fellowship, 956 Jackson St. March 2-16 United Methodist Church, 525 David Ave. Ave. March 16-APR 13 North Valley Baptist, 345 David Dinners on Wednesdays March 21, 28, April 4 and 11, Sunrise Bible Fellowship, 956 Jackson St. April 13-30 Presbyterian Church, 838 Jefferson St. & Saturday 14th