Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/499110
APRIL 22-28, 2015 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Shake It Till You Make It I'm new to online dating. I'm a nice, good-looking guy with a good job, but I have a muscular condition that causes me to shake a lot. I'm not looking to fool anyone, but I don't want to advertise my condition on my profile because it's so personal. My last date was several months ago, and it ended with her saying I was "creepy" because of my disability — a condition I was born with. — Bummed I'm not going to kumbaya you. Advertising yourself as "tall, dark, and shaky" wouldn't be ideal. Even revealing it on the phone could lead to some painful date cancellations. Your tremors, however, become public the moment you walk into a place to meet a woman — which is actually the perfect time to make a crack like, "Is it freezing in here, or do I have a muscular disorder?" How dare I joke about a disability?! Truth be told, I can't really take credit for this approach. I call it "The Callahan," after my late quadriplegic cartoonist friend, John Callahan, who buzzed around Portland in a motorized wheelchair, cracking jokes like, "See my new shoes? I hear they're very comfortable." Callahan understood that a person's disability often becomes a big wall between them and the rest of us because we're afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing. But through his refusal to, uh, pussychair around the subject, Callahan told people how the disabled want to be treated, which is "just like everyone else." And because the rest of us get poked fun of, Callahan did cartoons featuring disabled people. Using humor would allow you to set the tone for your condition to be just a fact about you instead of a fact people pity you for. And by offering to answer questions they might have, you can shrink any big scary mysteries down to a more manageable size. Online dating isn't an ideal venue for everyone. Plenty of non-disabled people find it brutal. If, beyond that shaky exterior, you're a pretty great guy, you're probably better off looking for dates in Meetup. com groups and other arenas where you'll have continuing contact with women. Remember, you only need to charm that one girl — one who is so excited to find a sweet guy who reminds her of a movie star that she doesn't mind that it happens to be Katharine Hepburn at 70. AMY ALKON Copyright 2015 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD On Feb. 9 a single traffic stop in Alderson, West Virginia, resulted in the arrest of six people from the same family, trafficking in stolen power tools (including one man who traded a leaf blower, hedge trimmer and weed trimmer for Percocet pills). However, a month later, members of an even more charming family were caught in raids in Elyria, Ohio. Officers from three jurisdictions arrested 34 people — all related to each other — in connection with a $400,000 drug operation. [Register-Herald (Beckley, W.Va.), 2-12-2015] [WEWS-TV (Cleveland), 3-18-2015] Government in Action The predawn line in March actually started forming at midnight, snaking around the building in Maitland, Florida, but it wasn't for concert tickets. The dozens of people needed coveted visitor passes just to speak to an IRS agent — because budget cuts and personnel reductions have limited services. "I just came here to verify my identity," said one frustrated taxpayer, who arrived at 8 a.m. and would not be served that day. The agency said its budget had been cut by $1 billion since the congressional "sequestration" in 2011. [News 13 (Orlando), 3-16-2015] Nope, They Haven't Grown Back Yet: Canada's Department of Veterans Affairs requires any vet receiving disability benefits to have a doctor recertify the condition annually — including people like Afghan war double-leg amputee Paul Franklin. He complained to Canadian Broadcasting Corp. News in March that he had been harshly threatened with loss of benefits if he failed to file (even though the department told CBC News that it might perhaps relax the certification requirement to "every third year"). Wait, What? Several theaters in Denmark reported in March that they had begun adding subtitles — to Danish-language films, because so many customers complained that the dialogue was incomprehensible. Apparently, it is widely known that spoken Danish is harder to understand than the written, but Copenhagen's website The Local reported that actors had rebelled at improving their diction, claiming that their "mumbling" adds "realism" to the films. [The Local, 3-6-2015] Copyright Chuck Sheppard 2015 ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, your imagination is running wild, and that can be a good thing. You are full of inspiration and fun ideas this week, which only makes you more charming. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, you may need to open new lines of communication to complete an important project this week. Don't be afraid to engage others as your deadline nears. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, this week is a great time to put plans you have been keeping private in motion. Enjoy this exciting time and don't hesitate to share your excitement with others. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, your love of competition comes to the forefront this week. This competitive spirit may open new doors for you. Make the most of these opportunities. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, use this week as a time to conduct some personal inventory. Opportunity awaits around the corner, and your work this week will help you make the most of this new development. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, make this week all about spending time with your significant other. Plan a date night or sit and snuggle. Enjoy every moment you get to spend together. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, your responsibilities beckon this week. You enjoy being responsible, so don't sweat it when you must make some decisions. Be confident that you will make the right calls. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, you are ready to embrace the great outdoors and all it has to offer. You never know what adventure awaits you, but you know one is on the horizon. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, you have a lot of energy this week. Put that bounce in your step to good use by fixing up something around the house or beginning a new fitness regimen. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Your words will carry significant weight this week, Capricorn. With that realization comes much responsibility. Make sure you wield your influence accordingly. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, a financial windfall might be headed your way in the weeks to come. Allow yourself some time to splurge, but do your best to save some money as well. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Bold action is awarded this week, Pisces. You are one of the few people in your circle willing to take a few chances, and that will pay off soon. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard