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4B Daily News – Friday, November 25, 2011 Patronizing patter perturbs pupil Behavioral therapy can help Dear Annie: I am a sophomore in college and have been living with the same room- mate for the past two years. I've known ''Max'' since high school, and we were good friends. Toward the end of last semester, however, Max started to do things that really irked me, but I was stressed from finals and thought maybe I was blowing it out of propor- tion. I figured spending the summer without dealing with him would clear things up, but I was wrong. Every time we speak, it has to be an argument. Regardless of the topic — sports, politics, calculus — his opinion is the only one that matters. He talks down to me, claiming his classes are tougher than mine and saying how ''stu- pid'' I am. Annie, I am a chemical engineering major and have already taken (and aced) all of the classes he is currently in. Max comes from a well-to-do family and uses that to show how much better he is than everyone else. Any money I have is because I worked my butt off and saved every penny. Since the semester began, I have been so annoyed with him that I've decided to move out as soon as possi- ble. Unfortunately, this may take a while, as I can only afford a dorm room right now. Any sugges- tions? — Not Treated as an Equal Dear Equal: We think Max belittles you because he is insecure about his Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar own intellect and abilities. Some- times being born into money creates the fear that with- out it, you'd be nothing. Please talk to your resi- dential advisor or the housing office and ask to be transferred to another dorm room. It may even be possible to move out before the next semester begins. Until then, try to avoid Max as much as possible. Study in the library. Hang out in a friend's room. Find other space to occupy. Dear Annie: My moth- er is one of 10 children. Two years ago, her older sister started a huge fight with a few of the siblings. ''Aunt Josie'' has been very nasty and also posted inappropriate messages on Facebook. She's always been coddled because we've believed she has some mental health issues. Now, my family has cho- sen to quit speaking to her. The problem is that my grandmother is choosing sides. She hasn't visited our house for months, but is at Aunt Josie's often. She also recently announced that she would not be attending one grandson's welcome home party because Aunt Josie isn't invited. (Mind you, Aunt Josie never invites any of us to her events.) My grandmother is aware of some of the nasty things my aunt has said. Is it wrong for me to tell my grandmother that she is mistreating the rest of the family? No one else seems to think it's worth it. — Boston College Girl Dear Boston: Grandma FEATURES DEAR DOCTOR K: My ears worries that she is the last family member who still cares about Aunt Josie. This is her child. She takes her side because no one else will. We don't recom- mend you pit Grandma against her daughter. Instead, say that you miss her and wish she would spend more time with the family. The rest is up to her. Dear Annie: My heart goes out to ''Strong but Broken,'' who has suffered for 40 years because of cruel bullying by a class- mate and her friends. My recommendation in such cases is to transform the hurt by helping others who have been similarly hurt. Bullying is such a problem in schools today, with some kids even tak- ing their own lives. By simply talking to school groups, church groups and individuals, she could do a world of good, both for those who are being bul- lied and for those who are doing the bullying. I have found that often when we give another that which we ourselves need, it opens the doors for our own healing, and I truly wish that for her. — N.C. Counselor have been ringing for the past seven months or so. When I was younger, this would happen to me for short periods, usually after a loud con- cert. But this is the first time it's gone on for so long. What can I do about it? DEAR READER: It sounds to me like you've got a condition called tinnitus. Tinnitus is sound you hear in your head with no external source. The good news is that you're not crazy. (Now if you told me that you kept hearing people talking to you, people who weren't there, I'd be more con- cerned!) Tinnitus is a common condition. Many of my patients have it. Occasionally, I have it. It doesn't usually affect your hearing. But it can be really annoying and distracting, enough so that it affects people's level of function. It's as hard to concentrate when there's a sound inside your head as when there's a jackhammer outside your window. Like you, many people describe having a ringing sound in one or both ears. For others, the sound is more like a whistling, buzzing, chirping, hissing, humming, roar- ing or even shrieking. Tinnitus occurs occasionally in many people, often after being around extremely loud noise. It can come on after a rock con- cert, as in your case, or even after listening to loud music through headphones. Some medications can cause tinnitus, Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. symptoms that last more than six months. You may worry that your tinnitus is a sign that you're going deaf or have another serious med- ical problem. The good news is that this is rarely the case. Unfortunately, it's very hard to predict the course of chronic tin- nitus. Sometimes the symptoms remain the same, sometimes they go away and sometimes they get worse. Even though there's no cure for chronic tinnitus, it often becomes less noticeable and more manage- able over time. There are several ways to help tune out the noise and minimize its impact. Behav- ioral strategies and sound-generating devices, used together, can often help. Cog- nitive behavioral therapy can help change the way you think about and respond to tin- nitus — to make you so accustomed to the sound that you notice it less. There are also devices, worn like hear- ing aids, that generate low-level white noise. These can reduce the perception of tinnitus and sometimes make it less notice- able for a short time after the device is turned off. Your general health can affect your tin- nitus. Now is a good time to take stock of your diet, physical activity, sleep and stress level. If you find problems, take steps to improve them. And if the ringing doesn't stop and is affecting your quality of life, talk to your doctor about treatment options. too. For example, high doses of aspirin and other nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory pain medications can cause it. But in cases like this, the ringing or other noise usually goes away when you stop taking the medication. It sounds like you have chronic tinnitus written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.ne t, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. The Tehama County Public Health Advisory Board will meet 1:15- 3:15 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 1, in the Shasta Room at the Public Health Modular Building, 1860 Walnut St., in Red Bluff. Upcoming committee meetings are as follows: Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Annie's Mailbox is Public Health Advisory Board to meet • Membership: noon- 1:30 p.m. on Jan. 18, La Corona Restaurant, in Red Bluff •Tobacco: 3:30-5 p.m. on Dec. 19, Tehama County Department of Education, 1135 Lincoln St., in Red Bluff • Dental: 12:30-2 p.m., Head Start Meeting Room, 220 Sycamore St., in Red Bluff. The next Tehama County Public Health meeting is scheduled for Feb. 2 in the Shasta Room at the Public Health Building, 1860 Walnut St., in Red Bluff. For more information call 527-6824. 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