Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/449336
JANUARY 21-27, 2015 UCW 19 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Urning Curve My boyfriend of eight months was with his ex for almost five years. Unfortunately, she passed two years ago. I have sympathy for him, but occasionally he'll call me by her name, and it's really upsetting. I feel like she's haunting his brain, and I don't know how to do an exorcism. How do I take my rightful place in his life? — Can't Compete If you're putting on some skimpy somethings to get your boyfriend in the right mindset in bed, ideally, they aren't three strategically located "Hello, My Name Is …" stickers. It's understandable that you're feeling bad, but his detours into Wrongnameville probably don't mean what you suspect they do. Using the wrong name is what memory researchers call a "retrieval error," describing how an attempt to get some specific item from memory can cause multiple items in the same category to pop up. Basically, your brain sends an elf back into the stacks to get the name to call someone, and he just grabs the first name he spots that's associated with "girlfriend" and girlfriend-type situations. (Lazy little twerp.) This sort of cognitive error — following a well- worn path (five years of grabbing the late ex's name) — is more likely when a person is tired or preoccupied. In other words, your boyfriend's name- swapping may be a sign that he needs to stop multitasking; it doesn't necessarily mean he's been taping a cutout of her face over yours in his mind. There is a solution, and no, it doesn't involve inventing a time machine so he can go back 20 years and get in the habit of calling all women "babe." It turns out that a person can get better at retrieving the right name with practice. Cognitive psychologist Gordon Bower explained in Scientific American that the one making the error needs to consistently correct themselves or be corrected and then repeat the right name a few times. It would be best if you correct him teasingly, and perhaps incorporate visual aids like homemade flashcards — ideally of you in various states of undress with your name on them. Assuming he isn't trudging around in all black like a Fellini film widow or putting the ex's urn between you two in bed, it might help to consider how he is when he's with you: Engaged? Loving? Present? If so, do your best to focus on this — lest you be tempted to go low- blow and tit for tat and start screaming out dead men's names in bed: "Ooh, Copernicus … Oh, my God, Cicero…I mean, take me, Archimedes!" WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD People's love for their pets reached a new high in December when a British man paid a veterinarian the equivalent of $500 to perform delicate surgery on a sick office goldfish (typical pet store "replacement" price: $1 to $5). Vet Faye Bethell of North Walsham, England, told the Eastern Daily Press in December that there was "nothing special" about the fish, but that the customer "just liked it a lot." In fact, the goldfish likely did not even have a pet name — as Bethell in an interview spoke intimately of another patient by name (Cadbury, the skunk). (Bethell's procedure involved removing the patient from the bowl, flooding its gills with anesthetic-fortified water, and using a tiny scalpel to remove lumps that were causing it constipation, with the surgery guided by a miniature heart-rate monitor.) [Eastern Daily Press (Norwich, England), 1-1- 2015] Iraqi TV Goes "Jerry Springer" Iraq's government-run channel, Iraqiyya TV, has a reality show reminiscent of American confrontational programs, but is designed to force captured ISIS fighters to acknowledge the pain they have created. One episode of In the Grip of the Law (described in a December Associated Press dispatch) showed family members of car- bombing victims on a street corner in Baghdad haranguing one of the men convicted of the crime. A young man in a wheelchair, having lost his father in the attack, faced off against the convict, screaming until the jihadist "began weeping, as the cameras rolled." [Associated Press via New York Daily News, 12-22-2014] Wait, What? On Nov. 6, a couple (aged 68 and 65) were hospitalized after spending almost 13 hours locked in their car inside their own garage in Alexandra, New Zealand. The night before, they had been unable to remember a salesman's tutorial on how to unlock their new Mazda 3 from the inside and had spent the night assuming they were trapped because they had forgotten to bring along the battery-operated key. The wife was unconscious when neighbors finally noticed them, and her husband was struggling to breathe. (The door unlocks manually, of course.) [Otago Daily Times, 12-13-2014] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, expect to scramble at the last minute when you have to get something finished. It may elevate your blood pressure, but you'll feel good when the task is completed. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 You have to take a stand on a highly contested matter, Taurus. There's no way to avoid the situation, so it's best if you just meet it head on. Others will appreciate your direct approach. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, say goodbye to a bad situation, as a better one is on the horizon. It is about time you make things work in your favor and enjoy some R&R. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you have grown in many ways and people are trying to get used to your new persona. They see you as a new person, and that will require an adjustment period. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, paying off a large debt may empty out your bank account, but you have to look at the benefits of the situation. No more interest payments mean more savings. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, expect to be caught off guard this week. Allow everything to run its course, and things will be back to normal before you know it. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, be resourceful and economical this week. Frivolous spending will only leave you with a hole in your pocket and not much to show for it. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 This could be a time of profound changes in an important relationship, Scorpio. If you keep an open mind, there is no limit to the benefits that await. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, after a few bumpy spells, you may be on the road to a financial recovery. Monitor your spending and continue to maintain your financial discipline. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Real estate values have been rebounding, Capricorn. If you are in the market to sell your home, now may be your chance to do so, but make sure you accept a good offer. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Your responsibilities are at an all-time high, Aquarius. If you speak up, plenty of people will be willing to lend a hand. You just have to accept their offers to help. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, start visualizing positive outcomes and you can produce winning results. A negative attitude will only prevent success. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard 97.1 % receivership 76.9 % readership 74.4 % of readers make their buying decisions from free newspaper advertising and editorial Your Logo Here In your home every week..... TSCSI FREE PAPERS